iZeY's uToPiaN dReAm CaFe.....brAinBreAkDanCin OvEr rEaLitY

dog fight

2006-01-11T13:20:00.000+08:00

almost a month since i wrote anithin..december has always been the most eventful month of the
calendar..thus bein so damn bz..uh huh..i can get busy.i din write..so there...

witnessed a dog gang fight on monday..whole 20 mins of it..there was the whole pre-fight sizing up of opposition..then the attempted lets-talk-this-out..and the walk away..until some random fella in this case dog says somethin stupid to send tempers blazing n rules of engagement are thrown out and battle royale begins..i think it was over a bitch..cos i saw this one dog runnin away and 2 other dogs were chasing it..then a few dawgs who saw this frm across the road rushed over to help or also chase for some carnal pleasure..i dunno..din stay long enuff to
watched the ending..

if u want to go to east coast..go on hari raya haji morning.lyk earli earli morning.bliss..almost heaven for an almost sober man..n it doesnt kill to have a beautiful girl next to u..

spent the latter part of yesterday cooped inside my jungle of a room..been feelin a lil weird..
my dad hasnt nagged at me abt comin home drunk & late for like 10 days now..im so used to him
hitting the roof at 5am goin on n on abt how im such a bad influence on my sister and that i
will get sick n become a drunkard.always reminds me of the old george michaeal song u noe..spinning the wheel

five o'clock in the morning
you ain't home
I can't help thinking that's strange

hahahah..talk abt conditioninging eh.this has nevr happened..im torn
between thinkin that its a sign that he has finalli realized that im actuali quite a wildchild outside the confines of bt batok..orrr...this is juz the fuckin calm b4 the fuckin ragin storm..or mayb he doesnt want to ruffle my aura since im in the process of realizing my dreams..oh well..wateva it is it still remains that Gin and
SugarCane Liquer shd nevr be allowed to be mixed..unless uve got some potent tooty frooty punch to kill the taste..

ive watched 3 movies starring clive owen this week..not that im takin any special interest in him..but he juz seems to appear..Closer,Sin city and Beyond Borders..he's reali talented eh..diverse roles yet he seems to fill em out so intenseli..he's an incredible actor. kinda looks like he stepped right out of an East End dagger fight onto the film studio, bringing a fresh stack of authentic steely attitude to the screen. has to be e coolest British export since the Jaguar methinks..hope Derailed does him justice..

oh yah..Beyond borders kinda hit me..is it that hard to beleive that we ALL are refugees from somethin..in a way..we all have run away frm somethin at some point in our lives not always by our own free will..Knowing where we belong in our lives is sometimes not crystalli clear..im a refugee from conformist society..or again..so i think cos im not anywhere else..so does dat make me a hypocritical NATO wannabe or a man who is pressured to place his responsibilities way b4 his ideals..to realize that u have to fulfill all ur responsibilities as a son,brother and fren before
you can bask in idealistic pursuits tends to be a very bitter pill to swallow...

I have been recently bamboozled by light years..Let's say that a star is 1 million light years away. The light from that star has traveled at the speed of light to reach us.
Therefore, it has taken the star's light 1 million years to get here, and the light we are seeing was created 1 million years ago. So the star we are seeing is really how the star looked a million years ago, not how it looks today. In the same way, our sun is 8 or so light minutes away. If the sun were to suddenly explode right now, we wouldn't know about it for eight minutes because that
is how long it would take for the light of the explosion to get here..cool eh..so look at a star tnite..n if it happens to
be 4 light years away..then ur juz seein a star from Jan 2002..

im missin the sun very much..i love the rain..but not ALL the time..ive always liked a balance of evrythin..a lil bit
of this and a lil bit of that..but the sun..i happen to think its nature's prozac..n thus im goin a lil mad..

ok time to go see how oprah mind fucks millions of females today...that woman is the devil..thats wat oprah does..she makes women think that "hey im not in such a bad situation.there;s someone more fucked up or in a more fucked up
situation that i am in"...so its alll gooooooooooood..wat kinda bullshit is that...u see..some pple look at an impossible situation and ask why.some look at the same situation and ask why not..but oprah tells u to look at the situation..then look at the person next to u who's more screwed up and say "phew thank u my black fairy god mutha..at least im not like her"..when will they evr get the point???

ok time to go meet the scientist..

peace..im ghost..

bdae

2005-12-12T22:29:00.000+08:00

its taken a week to finalli sink in...hmm..quarter century benzito...do i still have the blood to paint it red??? hmmmm...as i like it..my frens kept it real simple since im not a big fan of such stuff..with the stuff close to me..Bredas, the Stonehenge of ours:The Park and the pple who have travelled across oceans n sometimes streets to fight nex to me..hahahah..not all of em were there..since it was a surprise thingie..yes (obviousli it was the "expert" planning of our sole female member)..

MY BIRTHDAY CAKE/BEER (dem all sweet)

THE BOYS (maybe ill learn how to smile soon)..

ShaN the Man n our Party Liason "Doktor Gigi" Rashmi

peace im ghost

god

2005-12-02T15:59:00.000+08:00

so its another friday..this week juz concorded past me..managed to get a decent part time job to tide me thru the weeks till the big one lands on my lappity lap..a few days ago someone at trg asked me who i cling on to for support since ive been flyin pretty much solo for the past coupla yrs..well..i juz shrugged it off at that moment juz like how i do with most difficult questions..for someone who thinks too much like me..the last thing i would want to do is to brain breakdance when im so darn fuckin tired..so in the confines of my jungle on my spaceship..i thot abt it

those close to me probabli noe that im ermm...pretty reserved when it comes to talkin abt anithin thats personal..not cos i live a lie..but more like i beleive that my problems can onli be solved by me and that i shdnt burden someone else with em..kinda juvenile eh..since humans are wired to seek solace n support in others. but u see...u noe my gd fren..

Mr. E.G.O..well he has this thing where he thinks he's superman..the audacity to think that problems cant be solved by another mortal..i mean..if he can solve it..y can't i? hahahah..i laught abt it sometime..cos seriousli..there are times like bein Superman is the last thing on my mind.But i inevitably juz put on that imaginary cape (the red briefs..well.
they were nevr part of the wardrobe..heh) & forget my own stuff. I speak of knights (Yellowtail Village hahaha ) and superheroes like i noe em..i do..i reali do..

after much thot i realized that my magic formula was to leave my problems in the hands of someone above mankind..b4 2001 i left in the hands of the devil..he would lace me fuel me and entertain me..but i din beleive that he saved my sorry ass many times..when i think abt it now..who did? lady luck?? well, lets not even bring the ladies in..hahah

I'm no saint..in fact im probably the furthest thing from one in certain aspects..but i dun ask for forgiveness. it aint my style to be a Saturday sinner n be at the father's feet on sunday..ill pay for the bad ive done..n reap the benefits of the good..but ill still hang on to the big man or woman (sheesh..political correctness is a bitch..NOT TO BE TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT).for in him/her ive found my rock..which I,superman can lean on..n thus far..life may have been a ride
but this rollecoaster is firmly held down by my main man/woman. It aint fear at all..absoluteli..juz a whole lot of faith..blind to some..but hey..are u reali lookin??

(Disclaimer: I dun belong to no cell grp who take 10% of ur pay packet evry month, terroist organisation wanting jihad or believe that the earth will remain forever and that all people, living and dead, who will fit in with Jehovah's purpose for a beautified, inhabited earth may live on it forever.Im juz a normal hindu boy who has no other place to hang on to other than my faith.)

Although the Superman (Clark Kent) comes from a Protestant background he is apparently flexible in his Christianity.and therefore this Superman shd be allrite with his hinduism also laaaaaa...can can..altho where the hell is Lana Lang??hahaah

watchin CNN lately..I somehow felt pity for Saddam..i dunno why..this was the tyrant who made thousands if not hundreds of thousands suffer..and yet for a fleeting moment he looked like a defenceless old man who was fighting against his backstabbers and the
bullshitting protectors of the free world..y bullshitting?? well hear me out..but check this out first
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/content/a55hat.aspx?cid=690

Morally and ethically, e attack against Iraq was wrong, because its not acceptable in a civilized world for one country to attack another when neither it nor its allies have been attacked..true? wat was proposed was to attack Iraq because of what it might do, and this is wrong.
Such an action violates e historical principle that e fuckin United States does not attack other countries unless it, or one of its allies, is attacked.

It violates e international principle that all countries have a right to secure borders, and it violates the tenets for just war laid out by most major world religions.. The damn United States has long held that negotiation, not unilateral military action, is the means to resolve international disputes..so y??
Attacking Iraq made the US turn its back on this long-held view and to become a force for international violence, not international peace...basicali becomin another tyrant

n thinkin thinkin thinkin later..e attack against Iraq has set a terrible international precedent: a precedent that if a country merely feels threatened by another country,
it would be cool to attack dat country. .. Can u even fuckin imagine the consequences if other countries follow this precedent. India and Pakistan feel threatened by one another, and have nearly gone to war. .Were either to do what the United States has done to Iraq, a nuclear war would be the likely result..

And do we reali want to encourage the Russians,that its cool to invade
Chechnya because they feel threatened by it? Or to tell Egypt and Israel that it is now all right to launch "preemptory" attacks against one another?

are we livin in a world in which countries attack one another merely because they feel threatened??..sure looks it - not a bloody world I want to live in!!!

Finally from a moral/ethical standpoint, an attack on Iraq is somethin very different from U.S. action against the Taliban and Al Qaeda..In the latter instance, the US was attacked and was rightly acting to defend itself and bring the attackers to justice. Iraq is a completely different situation - in the case of e attack against Iraq, the US became the attacker..and in so doing.. surrendered the moral high ground.

While much of Georgie Doofus Bush's argument for attackin Iraq was that Saddam might use weapons of mass destruction (WMD) against the US, there is in fact no
indication Saddam will use WMD offensively.. In fact, the deterrence principle, used for 3 decades to keep the Soviet Union in check during the Cold War, ensures that
he most likely will not.. He wants to stay in power..and using WMD against the United States would mean a sure end to his power..now why would he wanna do that??
and did they find anithin?? dickheads

but he still has to pay the price i feel..for tyranny has no place in the post modern world..i juz hope he gets a fair trial..after all...he is the Hitler of the
free world..

riiite..since..i got all of that out..poor saddam can rest well..hahaha..

my fren is gettin married tomoroe..hmmmm...the first..definitli not e last..adulthood beckons..slack

alllriiiiiiiiiite..its one-two time..

peace
im ghost

2005-11-26T22:58:00.000+08:00

finali got hold of INXS's Pretty Vegas.dEF lEPPARD meeting the Ramones...well..the music video was awesome shit.AND jd fORTUNE was all that .rock n rolla a lil lala..i JUS HAVE TO BE A ROCKSTAR in my next life..gotta inform the karma police..

November is ending too fast..i wish it went a lil slower.as much as im lookin forward to the new yr..i somehow dun want to end this ride juz as yet..cos its been a riiiiiiiiide..hell yeah..a lil too much alcohol for my own good..but limits and moderate partyin is somethin that is pretty much as alien as pan-fried zebra..

oh.talkin abt that..there was this whole issue in thailand (i think..some mongloid place la)..where the zoo kinda place wanted to put zebra,bear,giraffe and u name it on its menu..thats INSANE..they were gonna import these animals frm
Africa...so of course as usual animal activists bein the dumbfucks they are..protested..and made enuff noise to stop this whacked menu frm materialising..instead they are onli goin to offer ostrich meat..and so this made me think..
Why is it okay to kill an ostrich or a chicken for that matter for food..but not ok to kill a zebra, bear or lion if the size of the pot permitted so..is the chicken or the goat dat dispensable..wat would the world look like rite now
if cavemen started rearin zebras and antelopes for food...itll be quite the funky wet market...n we'll have the
McZebra or Pentucky Fried Giraffe...bear sausages at a bbq..hmm..somehow that doesnt sound rite...oh well..

cohoco

2005-11-07T12:14:00.000+08:00

bored times call for creative escapades..fooling ard with my fav application made this come up..i need to print it on a tshirt..but sometimes i do question myself..whether im reali a rebel..cos..most of the times..its my mind that goes
against convention..but my actions..well..they tend not to as the days of my life past me by..i juz hope im not selling out..well to be different does border bein weird..n labels are meant for food packages..

on the way back after a failed attempt to break into a club that was bein renovated..n for once..i wasnt the one who initiated such a stupid thing to do..which is y..also for once..i was relegated to the back seat of the car on our chocolate supa' highway

ther's a month left b4 i hit 25..been waiting for it for so damn long...esp so now when im gettin kinda bored of tellin pple that im jobless and that im njoying an extended holiday of sorts..a holiday that most singaporeans will nevr get to experience even when they are in sch..that is also comin to an end now..according the biiig biig masterplan..come Jan 1st 2006..evrythin is gonna start..hopefulli on 4 wheels..ahem ahem..

feelin a lil whoozy..think its time for a smokie..i wanted to write on an issue..but it has completely slipped my mind..im gonna try n figure it out over one..

there is juz somethin so attractive abt a girl who has done so many things in her life and yet is so damn modest abt it...i shd learn..reali..

peace
im ghost..

holiday greetings

2005-11-01T10:07:00.000+08:00

and since its that time of the year when the streets of serangoon road are juz overflowing with colour,mismatched outfits and sunglasses at night..AND when the national heart centre and A&E departments of most major hospitals are on high alert due to the excessive consumption of mutton, chicken and mayb even the whole zoo together with a river of alcohol by indian males rangin from the ages of 12 till ermm..u nevr noe these days..

AND when most vegetarians are kickin themselves for choices made while they are playin with their carrots and onions in yoghurt and most vegetarian socities are wailing their hearts out at the fact that each indian household is whackin at least a goat,3 chickens and mayb a duck for gd measure if they decide to be all funky..duck sambal n shit like dat..haha..all i wanna say..holla' happy deepavali to the pple frm the south & holla' happy diwali to the pple from the north..Let us all hope that the chicken and mutton curry goes down well with the briyani and that the naan kicks ass with the butter chicken n paneer..Happy holidays evryone...make sure u wake up tomoroe with a hangover...its an indian holiday after all..

peace

dove

2005-10-20T14:18:00.000+08:00

its been an interesting couple of days..random job applications..hittin on one
that would have brought me far far away..but alas alak reality bit..n the job was filled even tho i aced the requisite tests..how does anyone expect to be paid 2000bucks for a 72 hr week..oh well...life goes on..

i was told by a stranger who interviewed me that she was afraid of hiring singaporeans cos of their poor diction..ahh..diction..i hardli use that werd..so i asked her..whether i was one of em..n she said that i had very good diction which could be mistaken for a fake accent..sad innit..how does that happen?? but it has..many many many times..

on a rainy mid october sittin down at the bus stop..the smoke frm my mouth creatin an almost relaaaaaak scenario amongst the mad raindrops..the bus arrives..with this huuuuge ad on it..couldnt ignore..it said "does beautiful skin have to be flawless??"...No surprise it was an ad frm DOVE..

Dove has almost hit jackpot with its latest marketing strategy..marketing masterpiece in my opinion..i like to think i appreciate beauty..n in my world..it is indeed in the eye of the beholder n more often than not in the beerholder too..so rather than dissin Dove for invoking feelings of self worth in the female
population who i know for a fact are not sponsored by CoverGirl..i shd praise them..for reinforcing the point that for a woman to be indeed beautiful in its true definition

beau·ti·ful ( P ) Pronunciation Key (byt-fl)
adj.
1. Having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight.
2. delighting the senses or exciting intellectual or emotional admiration

she's gotta be happy inside n feel like a million bucks..cos ive met the hottest of girls n the most
drop dead gorgeous ones b4..who speak like the world is on their shoulders n their insides are all in a
mess..they see the world in black n white and colour seems to be onli fit for their hair,nails and clothes.
they bitch with contempt and malice and they simpli hate the world..i dunno y..so yes she can be beautiful in the new paper face kinda way..but if she's a graveyard inside..its gonna show real soon..so let us all men
biiiiig up the people at Dove..cos they might juz have the remedy for the bitter woman..for it aint a willy wonka mystery
that a confident and secure woman is a happy woman who in turns becomes beautiful it at least one of its
definitions..n it reali doesnt hurt if she looks like kahlen..hahahahahha...

kahlen khalen..i noe she din win n im kinda cool with Naema winning it..cos she's reali funky in her own
yellow gummi bear kinda way..but onli when i saw one of those huuuge ads for "FlightPlan" at the busstop..
did i realize why i was diggin kahlen so soo soo much...other than the fact that she was not bitchy at all..she spoke
when she was spoken to..she mud wrestled (diggity diggity dat)..n she was juz one of those sweet country
girls who DID NOT sleep with her cousins..hahahahahah..she was a dead ringer for jodie foster...n jodie foster
is like one of those old skool likes..juz like meg ryan n the crew back then..

the goose will be landing on saturdae...my superstar fighter pilot homeboy is finalli comin home for gd after
a gd 6 yrs away..this shd change the party landscape..like it needs anymore madness..
but what are a bunch a single boys with the world at their feet to do other than party till the sun
comes up and watch the hunnies go by, shakin wat their mommas gave em..hahaha..ruff ryding all the way back..
with an empty wallet but hey...

peace im ghost..

pinthe p

2005-10-04T15:53:00.000+08:00

Listenin to Hendrix has made me realize that a purple haze has been in my brain..cos lately things dun seem quite the same..me is actin’ funny dunno why..but u have to excuse me while I go kiss the sky..hahaha..

Lord of Dogtown was not the most arty of movies..but it hit home..esp watchin it with one of my childhood buds..the story of ghetto boys..goin out into the world..knowledge that the possibility of fame n fortune blinding the most keeping it real of pple is always loomin sumwhere nearby. Opportunity bein the key to opening that door dat lets it in..but it also showed one more thing..that no matter how far u go..or how high u climb..home will always be one place and wherever I lay my head will onli be a temporary refuge..n if u evr do fall..it’s the pple that noe u the best who’ll dust off the dirt n help u up..yeah..so I give it 4 stars..an extra star for the soundtrack..

Weird ramblings of good and bad have been bothering me a lil..u see most pple I meet tend to see things in black and white..in extremes..if u were to define the opposite of black being white..u would have to recognize the fact the two are equal in magnitude but polar opposites..thus implyin that their absolute value are one and the same..same token..i heard this Islamic individual talk of something..he said that the opposite of god is the devil.i couldn’t agree.by sayin such wasn’t he implyin that the absolute definition and power of god was one n the same with the devil. aren’t we givin the devil a lil too much credit?? Some say he’s the fallen angel, Lucifer some say he was brought abt by mere imagination..all I can say is that..we have to stop speakin in extreme terms..even darkness n light have a spectrum..n thus good and bad cannot exist as opposites. They can onli be individual spectrums of wat we perceive. relative,objective and subjective in all its intricate definitions.

Evil is a point of view. God kills, indiscriminately, and so shall we. He
takes the richest and the poorest, as so shall we, for no creatures under God are as we are,
none so like Him as ourselves. Dark angels not confined to the stinking limits of hell but wandering his earth and all it's kingdoms.

We live in a world of accidents finally, in which only aesthetic principles have a consistency of which we can be sure. Nothing can be defined with conviction. Clauses aplenty..
Right and wrong we will struggle with forever, striving to create and maintain an ethical balance;
but the shimmer of summer rain under the street lamps or the great flashing glare of artillery against a night sky--such brutal beauty is beyond dispute.. Brutal in a way that onli us monster beings do willingly for the search of an imaginary Eden..oh well..someone up there is watchin us..we aren’t alone..The Earthling ego shall be its demise..onli a decade left before the Sumerians are proven right..all we can do ..is wait n see..

the weekend was almost insane..like evry other weekend..found myself wakin up on some beach at Sentosa..two weird bottles by my side..n I guess the onli thing to do in such a situation wil be to take off wateva's on..n jump into the sea..n that I did..the sunrise.the waves and the very dry contact lenses..nothing a warm beer couldn’t fix..bleaaaaah…wonder wats gonna happen this fridae..as shanthan so aptly put it..i somehow bring it to a new level evry weekend..after the one that juz passed..i wonder wat else is ther in store..

my greatest sin has always been that i have a wonderful time bein myself..stone me to death for all I care..i realized aloud in the midst of sayin this that even when we die we prob dun find out the question as to why we were evr alive.even the avowed atheist probabli thinks that in death he'll get some answer.i mean god will be there or there wun be anithin at all..so god..pls take care of me..n bring me wherever u think I shd go..Amen.

But pls try to see the evil that i am..i stalk the world in mortal dress
the worst of fiends..the monster who looks exactly like evryone else..n them I shall slay..for I come frm the hills of Salvation..haha..i promise ..im not on anithin..

OH well..u noe for the longest time..i always thot it was “partridge in the pantry”.. I thot the buggers were gonna roast the partridge for Christmas in the kitchen..not that I knew how a partridge looked like in the first place..but the smart folk ard me have told me that its supposed to be “partridge in the pear tree”.dayemm.how dumb can I get??????? I was nevr any gd with christmas carols anyway..hah

ive always been my own teacher..n i muz confess ive always been my fav pupil as well..

peace..im ghost

mozzi anne frank

2005-09-30T00:36:00.000+08:00

another surreal nite..another open window..another lit ciggie..another glass of my favourite OJ..its 3 oclock in the mornin and the deejay playin that song..so wat am i gonna do..
after spending a few gd hours at the airport, in awe of evry damn pilot dat walked in.someone get me my job dammit.foshizzzle dizzle..
brain breakdancing kinda got liquid..

now dats a view i would love to have frm my window..

i started askin myself questions..too many for my own gd..messin wit' my mind..
So, izzit true that what we all are nevr changes but who we are nevr stops changing.. it has to be yeh..but i cant give it a 100% werd up..i juz cant..there's sumtin' i juz aint seein juz a lil bit..a lil bit of this n a lil bit of that..

evryone who comes to my house says im grumpy..me? why is my silence perceived as such..i aint got no diggity clue.. isnt it gd to keep quiet for a lil while..n mayb let others entertain u..hahah..n quite frankli..im the sort who chooses my conversations..I beleive that we human beings are born with a finite amount of energy, an energy dat has systematically deployed, beginning at the moment of birth, in order that it may be used most advantageously by the modality of the time..n thus i seek not to waste my energy on stuff when i see fit.

as i was hanging out of the window..slightli feeling the heat of the fast approachin lava like spot..
i thought abt death..kinda scared at first and then
i juz happened to mouth this "Don't wish for death, just wait until it comes.
Don't try to imagine what it's like. Just be there to be caught in its flow."
Death is scary..to the fairyairys its a new beginning and to the borin pple its an end.Y scary?
Death is painful only when it happens in one's bed, in sickness...
In a fight for your life, you feel no pain. If you feel anything, it's exultation..which is y ive always
wanted to die in the most hollywood of deaths...either on a mad ass OD or in a plane crash...of if my
knight-warrior roots are any real..mayb in a duel with a ruthless tyrant..

One of the most dramatic differences i feel..between civilized men and warriors is the way in
which death comes to them. Only with warriors is death kind and sweet.
They could be mortally wounded and yet would feel no pain..
And what is even more extraordinary is that death holds itself in abeyance for as long
as the knight need it to do so. The greatest difference between an average man and a
warrior is that a warrior commands his death with his speed..i dream..but hey

Possibly every human being under normal living conditions has had at one time or
another e opportunity to break away from e bindings of convention..
I dun mean social convention, but the conventions binding our perception..so let this be mine..

a friend of mine asked me why i nevr normali share e daily happenings of my life that much..juz a lil bit
here n a lil bit there...all i gotta say is that im no anne frank and the onli war im in rite now is with the Mozzis..

peace im ghost

rockstar

2005-09-22T16:55:00.000+08:00

One of the best reality Tv shows ended its run last nite..Rockstar INXS was by far the best talent search show screened so far..The finalists were made up of an almost gay Mig who was orginali a thespian in London's West end..and Marty "Tranny" who was alreadi a singer with a half fuck band somewhere in Chicago..and JD "Emo" Fortune..frm Canada .. kinda was livin day to day frm his meagre earnings as a musician..Mig raped Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody..i mean..yeah the song is full of theatrics n weird sounds..but he kinda pushed it..yunno..that line dat u simpli do not cross..n he paid the price..when he was the first of the 3 to be kicked..Marty thought that his new found "less is more" routine was gonna get him somewhere..but duuuuuuuuuuude..its the final mon..wat the fuck were u thinkin?? Which is y..The moment JD performed..the result was pretty obvious...he was all over the stage..n all over the women...in true rock star form...

i thought this was his best performance when he sang for INXS durin the 2nd part...his showmanship was simpli perfect compared to dang Marty who juz stood next to his mike stand..which is y...

JD Fortune is the new lead singer of INXS..juz like how i said it would be right frm the beginning..some of us juz have it...n some dun..n i happen to be able to tell if you have it..or u dun..u cant learn such things...n if u think im biggin myself up...well..here's a choco chip cookie.fuck..have another one..cos ur absolutely right..

Srinesh "Dr.Loco" Balakrishnan has landed..That would mean that all our livers would have to be werkin extra hard..at least for the nex 2 wks..i want to be healthy tho..

oh well..when i grow up..i want to be a rockstar..hahahahaha..ok if there is such a thing as another lifetime..a rebirth..i pray..that i become a rockstar..complete with the ripped jeans, Gibson and lockley hair..this i wish upon a star..the first n brightest star i see tnite.fuck dat.its gonna happen i can feeeeeeeeeeeel it.hahaha

peace im ghost..

dish

2005-09-16T15:03:00.000+08:00

this week's episode of Rockstar INXS was by far the best..the remaining 4 kinda showed why they
were still in the runnin to take INXS further...those who missed the performance show kinda missed alot..
Dave Navarro finali took the stage n showed us why he played with RHCP and also how gd u gotta be if
u wanna snag someone like Carmen...

Navarro's guitaring for JD's Pretty Vegas and Marty's Trees was fuckin awesome..

So now its done to the final 3 after the chick got booted...i mean ...seriousli..INXS fronted by a chick..naah..rock n roll doesnt allow that...n if u think thats chauvinistic...take a gd look at my extra long middle finger..rest assured she was gd..her rendition of Interstate Love Song was waay above average..but cmon..lets get real..
u aint gonna have sex,drugs n rock n rolla with a chick as ur lead singer...as i said b4..this aint ashley simpson's backup band..

My initial bet on JD Fortune seems a lil shaky..but i feel that he's still the man for the job..let's juz throw away Mig..apart from his crotch grabbin pants there's nothin rock n roll abt that Aussie..Between MArty n JD..Marty's got the range but JD has the persona..he does his thing juz like Freddie did for Queen..so my bet is still on JD but i wouldnt be surprised if Marty got thru cos of sheer American stupidity..

was watchin another show on telly..n this came up...

--can ur love for life be ur greatest fault??--

u see..i have frens..many close frens who party like there is no tomoroe..some last some dun..ahem ahem pple like Double Yellow Boy,Bushman East..n of course Bushman West..Psycho George n Ashvin..Serangoon Suchi and Queenstown Karen..and of course my brady Parkie bunch..individuals who
in their own right have been there done that.Smart,successful and wild.some established..some juz not yet..but there's one thing
that holds all of us strangeli together..the almost desperate need to do evrythin n anithin to the extreme..
moderation; they make it seem is for losers...n i dun feel any different...but comes with it...a mad life..but we are young and we are free..tupac said that if u live by the gun ull die by it...nothin of that sort here..onli things ard here suggest that if u live that crazy way...ull die that crazy way...unless of course
u marry some controlling freak who forbids u frm hangin out with ur brudders ..with sleepin on the couch n no sex
as a threat...hahaha

after which ull realize that she aint worth ur time n ull hook up with the next hot thing..cos wat controls cannot possibli be gd for u...cos if she ur girl..she gotta understand.that sometimes at her expense a real man needs to hang out with his boys n do the crazy things he is used to.
it keeps him real...
n there is absoluteli nothin replacing that..stemming from bullshit that some women are dishin out to my frens as the main course..

ive long wondered wat to label guitars n smooth rnb coexisting..din realize till yesterday that india arie had alreadi released an album n so aptly named..Acoustic Soul...so i figured..why not in words tell wat i feel acoustic soul she be all abt..

Acoustic soul through my veins..Strumming the strings between my fingers
Soul seeps through the notes
Leaves us in a distant immobility.

The words that spill within our words..Yet hollow sounds that vibe within
trapped spirits are liberated so soon
Though we can be transfixed in obsession.

Open your eyes and listen and strain..Let the music guide you and take you away
Acoustic soul can vibe for many years…
Filling you with purity to guide you through the days

Tweak and twist the notes that sound..And hear the angels reflect from these words
Lyrics that causes us to breathe once again
Leaving us in a trance to relax and fall asleep.

tired...frm wat..oh..Sean Paul's We'll be Burning is sure to rock the floors..can see dem booties doin it..haha

peace..im ghost

xcalibur

2005-09-15T01:03:00.000+08:00

i was juz bloooozin thru a coupla articles abt indonesia..n i started to wonder..
why do all e presidents of countries look soooo darn distinguised cept Gus Du..i mean.i aint bein mean or anithin like that..ok even if i am..so wat
but still..n he was quite a fuck up too wasnt he...damn slack...n then i found out that all the russian presidents look the same..actuali izzu had
alreadi pointed that out quite some time ago...

u rem the old guard..frm singapore.Mr Lee Kuan Yew and his gang of brainiacs who bling blinged Singapore..i always wondered why they all wore big ass specs..those mudder fuggers were huuuuge..n then i think..ok so lets say the spectacle evolved to wat it is like this present day..then comes another question..wat was it like b4 the big ass 1965 size..was it like a biig glass panel across the face??
thick ass shit yunno..

have u met anyone who can make anithin sound vulgar??..u apple...ur a tablecloth dammit...i have..crass..

beautiful..beauty fool...

Ive also figured out the reason for the degradation of morality in recent times..
at such a young age..we are exposed to the concept of a playgrd..
The players go to the playground n they take a ride on somethin tht sounds so close to mary goes round..n then they start "swinging"...followed by riding the horse..n firepoles..dayyeemmm..im not complainin tho..its better to start em young..hahahah..i love playgrds

i cant seem to get enuff of mark morrison's Return of the MAck...its RNb from 94...time when things were alot different...times when Left Eye was the girl..of my dreams that is...

i like to give propps to the pple who dish out lyrical..to the unsung lyrkical guerillas of the ghettos untold...

i beleive that no one reali dies..so therefore i start.the prophecy says

In the land of the dreams.. I visualize to stay alive..
Thirty-six rides and a mansion that stands high..
Gotta get me the cash, gotta get me the dough..
Diggin in my stash, job search is movin too slow..

The prophecy has seen that i remain without the bling..
Removin the skin, I never die and kill again..
Sinfullness is my trifeness, leave a man lifeless
If you try to bite this..

i levitate minds lyk 9's levitate ur spines
If inclined,i kill with one line..
and leave you dumb, deaf and blind..
Done with the swiftness of a sword of Excalibur
Move with the speeds of culos thru a callico

Feel e heat as my thoughts burn deep
Explosions to mind that i seek, now it's you soul that I reap
I remain in this game and take fame like grand larceny
There's pure fuckin havoc when you fuck with the prophecy...

peace im ghost.

rock

2005-09-05T01:02:00.000+08:00

Muzeeq of days gone by in innocent whites and bata shoes...cassette tapes frm far east bought frm savings of a week..spare change on lucky strikes...a stick and a coke between 4..ahhh..but evrytime i hear the guitars goin..my mind starts straying....days when things were alot simpler...hair slicked back...and little cowlicks at the back...dats where i drew the line..haha....could nevr do the bell bottoms with the long orange comb...
time has passed..but i guess my roots in music are there forever..let me say somethin that ive not said in a long long while.."rock tak kaaalaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!" hahahah

The Stone Temple Pilots had "Plush" & "Interstate Love Song" and somehow i always thot Scott Weiland was the coolest druggie ard..hahaha..

The Germans rocked with "Still Loving You", "Send Me an Angel" , "Rock you LIke a hurricane" , "No One LIke you", "In Trance"..all their fuckin albums were awesome..

n then there was the unmistakable voice of Eddie Vedder...with "Daughter" and "Jeremy" need i say more...

The pride of Seattle...the trio that defined a whole sub-genre..lyrics that almost reflected evrythin a teenager could possibly feel..n easy chords that made pickin up the guitar n strummin so darn easy.."smell like teen spirit" has to be the anthem of a generation..but my personal fava were "lithium"..and "heart-shaped box"

they burst onto the scene back then with almost cultish " black hole sun" and then followed it up with "spoonman"..i clearli rem hiding behind textbooks n listenin to dem ancient walkmans for this one...

another band that juz defied..it bigged up maat rock..n i loved it...the killer hit being "Youth Gone Wild".. u noe why i loved the song..somehow take a listen n ull noe why..

Despite his questionable sexuality..Freddie had to one of the best performers in his time..Queen combined simple melodies with killer solos..n spawned maddies such as "Crazy Little thing called Love" and cmon.."We are the CHAMPIONS"..

Ritchie Blackmore's Rainbow nevr fails to hypnotize me till tdae...i think its the wicked way he plays the guitar..no one has been able to replicate that sound...sounding almost folkish ..he nails with a solo that u could TRY n learn..but u r nevr gonna get it..he was one of the best guitarists in the world for a reason..but "Man on the Silver Mountain", "Temple of the King", "Sixteenth Century Greensleeves" & "Catch the Rainbow" were fuckin awesome..

Ronnie James Dio left Rainbow n started out on his own..his very unique voice and questionable looks ( the man looks like the elvish devil) made his a star..n "Holy Diver", " Rainbow in the Dark" & "Dont Talk to strangers" were the ones that made us go a lil loco...

mainstream rock..but nonetheless talented bunch...until "LOAD" that is...the Metallica of old were the bomb...Hetfield's graveyard voice and Hammert's solos...there was nothin that could make u get up n want to kill the world.."Fade to Black" , " Enter Sandman", " Nothing Else Matters" & "One"...classics..

Ahhh..the madd ass alternative rockers...u juz gotta love em...fuckin nutcases had it goin...flea's basslines were always amazing to hear..n their wicked riffs coupled with the lyrics that were almost poetry at times..."Soul to Squeeze", " Under the Bridge", "Give it Away" & "Blood Sugar" i loved...

"Sweet Child of Mine", "Paradise City" , "Novembr rain" , "Dont' Cry"..the list can reali go on for this one...this band had evrythin..it lived rock n roll..sex,drugs & rock n roll...nothin better than that..cept mayb MORE sex,drugs & rock n roll..but Slash was always a wizard on the fretboard..and Axel ..well..he could move..i knew 7 RGS girls who had posters of him on their ceilings..dumb eh..at least they werent boyband lovers..

Yeah so..im tired...its anothr week..wish me luck...although i love bein gainfully unemployed..my soul is cryin out for a purpose..

peace

im ghost

guitarzz

2005-08-29T13:19:00.000+08:00

I play with em evry single day..at least one of em gets my attention for a fair bit of time..
With evry slight touch of my fingers they scream a lil differently…my Islamic family of guitars. the paint on my walls are settin the mood for "Welcome to the Jungle".....altho i think ill need goose to come back to hit the highs for that one.

Welcome to the jungle
We've got fun 'n' games
We got everything you want
Honey, we know the names
We are the people that can find
Whatever you may need
If you got the money, honey
We got your disease

Welcome to the jungle
We take it day by day
If you want it you're gonna bleed
But it's the price you pay
And you're a very sexy girl
That's very hard to please
You can taste the bright lights
But you won't get them for free
In the jungleWelcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my serpentine
I, I wanna hear you scream

if onli i was gd enuff to make a livin out of my music.Despite bein homeless i would most probabli be the happiest person on Planet Dearth..hahah

peace..im ghost

neck

2005-08-28T16:00:00.000+08:00

Im guessin Womad was insane fun…..guess?? Yeah guess….…why?? Cos I have a busted neck……cant turn left cant turn right……why..cos drunk hero fell n hit his head face first on a tree trunk while “tryin” to take a leak..…str8 out of a cartoon methinks…….im very sure I din fall into a puddle of piss..haha..very sure..cos other than winnin the Wet Tshirt contest hands down..the rest of me was very dry……hahahahah……phew..its amazing how many pple I met..and how pple are connected……those that I rem seeing that is..and it was reali nice that everyone put all their weapons down with me at an event that was juz screamin music,peace and love…...stuff that I live for……next yr im gonna drink slightly lesser…….juz a liiiiiiitttllle biiiit……hahah..i overestimated this time rd..blaming it on the damn flu…

peace..im ghost

the sperrm

2005-08-26T16:59:00.000+08:00

Child of our timethey’ve been runnin it for 2 days now on Arts Central.....tnite’s the final episode n b4 someone else influences my thoughts on the issue I wish to lay my ground..so is it nature or nurture??? I think the answer’s fairly simple innit.…it’s a sure mix of both..u see I believe that we are born first n then made..like duhhh..at the moment of birth each of us is already so damn different…n u add environmental variations to that already diversified grp n u are definitli gonna get more variation..which seems as common sense..for example.....i could have been born with an exceptional gift for art..but if I nevr had the chance or the enviroment to develop or showcase such an attribute would it matter?? Same token....….I could have been born with psychotic tendencies…but if I was born into a family of terrorists n into an enviroment where picking up arms n killin n slayin was the natural thing to do..would it matter???
Yeah so..that’s how it is la…...

Figured out why the male ego is as such..…let me break it down to the simplest form of our being..the sperm and the egg.....u see..upon ejaculation (im assuming sex right here with any other female other than Miss Palm) , thousands if not ten thousands of sperm leave the male n enter the female’s system. Out of this large number, only 10% make it even halfway. The journey to the fallopian tubes takes approximately 10 hrs..n in this 10 hrs..many die..many give up..hahah…but the fit n strong ones..carry on..…it’s a like damn marathon. And all this while..the egg juz sits its ass down..n waits..n waits..n waits…

So lets say that the sperm are like superman(jeff) kinda sperm rite..and like 10 of em make it to the promised land…..it’s a game of first come first serve…the first sperm to bury its head into the egg WINS…the rest of the sperm who have made it all the way..have no choice but to grab a bottle of 100 Plus n well..die I guess..no prizes for comin in second.…now how unfair is that..…n the egg doesn’t give a shit..once the first sperm buries its head into the egg..the egg forms a protective membrane that doesn’t allow any other sperm from even tryin..…doesn’t happen in the real world strangely..hahahah..kiddin…..

Yeah so my point is…..we men werk so fuckin hard n our lil ones werk so damn hard ..so give us a break…..hahahahahahaha…...its not easy when u have to fight with thousands n thousands n when u do win..of course u gonna feel on top of the world..i mean..shdnt that be the case..u try swimming for 10 hrs goddamit..hahah..…so there u have it..its in our psych..we have to be..juz so dat our sperm can make it to the promised land..…n yeah females are allowed to sit down on their ass n whine n blah blah..cos that’s been happenin right frm the start…..

Yenni vaaeezz…chillin at the coffeeshop last nite with Double-Yellow-Line boy & Bush Boy brought about a pressing issue…..u see..in Singapore..the Chinese are the favoured ones..or so we as the “oppressed” minority believe. And in Malaysia…the Malays..for some strange god forsaken reason are favoured over the other races..So ..where in tarnation are we Indians gonna be favoured??? Well..dun tell me India..cos u can be an African albino and as long as uve got enuff dough under ur teak table ull be favoured there fosshizzzyy..…so..there u go....if ur Indian..ur so fucked..

Womad looks exciting..but the wallet looks depressing..looks like I have to resort to the poor man’s guide to entertainment on a sat nite..FREE CONCERT by Heritage at the Esplanade…itll be nice chillin with a couple of beers to some gd old blues n rock..hopefully the crew settles for it n not some posh nosh place..oh well……..

Shit loads of free stuff goin on these days..augurs well for the poor (i.e me)..the Writers Festival looks decently interesting..esp the crime writing one..

Writing Crime, C.S.I Style (Panel Discussion)
Aug 27, 18:00 - 19:00, Black Box (5th Floor), National Library
Free admission

Filipina F H Batacan’s pinoy detective novel Smaller and Smaller Circles has a forensic anthropologist solving crime on the dangerous streets of Manila. Meanwhile, Kathryn Fox, the author of best-selling Australian thriller, Malicious Intent, is a forensic physician by training. Following the success of the TV series, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, forensic crime thrillers have become all the rage in Singapore and elsewhere. Join these writers in a riveting talk about their books and venture into the morbidly fascinating world of evidence.

FH Batacan, Kathryn Fox

To Live (Film screening followed by Q&A)
Aug 27, 18:00 - 20:00, Library@Esplanade
Free admission

To Live directed by Zhang Yimou follows Fugui and Jiazhen from the period of 40’s to 70’s. Fugui loses everything to gambling. Caught between the nationalist and communist armies, Fugui is trapped, and Jiazhen forced into hard labour. Through the decades, they live to tell the tale of the difficult years. (In Chinese with English subtitles)

Yu Hua

Women and Crime (Talk)
Aug 28, 18:00 - 19:00, Black Box (5th Floor), National Library
Free admission

F H Batacan, Nuri Vittachi, and Kathryn Fox offer insights into why crime novels have such a fervent following among women and what it is about the grittiness of crime fiction that fascinates women more than men.

FH Batacan, Kathryn Fox, Nuri Vittachi

From Print to Screen and Back (Panel Discussion)
Aug 28, 16:00 - 17:00, Library@Esplanade
Free admission

How are images translated into a script, shot into a film and ends back on paper as a review? Our panel of experts explores the cycle of the different forms of writing for the same medium.

CheeK, Juan Foo, Raphael Millet

6horts (Screening)
Aug 28, 18:00 - 20:00, Library@Esplanade
Free admission

A series of 6 short films by Amir Muhammad, reflecting his nation’s identity. Lost, Friday, Mona, Checkpoint, Kamunting and Pangyau are amusing and mind provoking, dealing with these issues.

Amir Muhamad

Tokyo Magic Hour (Screening followed by talk)
Aug 29, 18:30 - 20:30, Library@Esplanade
Free admission

With strong use of digitally manipulated images and an edgy soundtrack, the romance of two men is told through narration of compiled Malay pantun verses.

Amir Muhamad

From Cyberpunk to Industrial Design – Writing Science Fiction in the 21st century (Talk)
Aug 27, 19:00 - 20:00, The Pod (16th Floor), National Library
Free admission

Famed cyber punk writer, Bruce Sterling, talks about his passion for science fiction and industrial design, and how he has managed to merge the two together.

Bruce Sterling

So there..so all u fellow poor pple..…we get to njoy tooo…...cos its all freeeeeeeeeeee…

Peace im ghost..

the drunk baby sister Part 1

2005-08-24T02:44:00.000+08:00

Ahem ahem…got a fair bit of rotten tomatoes thrown at me for my last post..hahahh…but quite frankly…one has to understand…that I nevr said I was Aristotle…how many famous non-fiction authors have made it through time? For every well-known historian (Suetonius, Gibbon) or philosopher (Aristotle, Marx) or leader (Caesar, Churchill), there are a Greyhound full of storytellers we know simply by one name (Dante, Dickens, Hemingway, Homer, Faulkner, Fitzgerald, Virgil, Voltaire, Shakespeare, Austen, Kipling, Orwell)…

By that im not disregarding the stuff I write as rubbishy fiction…truth be told..it borders n treads that fine line between fact n fiction.. Why fiction, u ask? Because fiction, at its very core, is a story holding greater truths…n issues.. It’s food for thought wrapped as entertainment meant to tickle the brain. It’s the easiest, best way to teach, challenge, and excite… Jesus used fiction to drive His points home… Only it wasn't called fiction then; it was called parables.

The few times ive been to church..ive noticed..It's interesting that of all the times Jesus is recorded as preaching and teaching throughout the gospels-excluding the Sermon on the Mount (which is in only two of the Gospels)-almost nothing is recorded of what He actually most definitely preached. But His fiction, or rather His parables, seems to have been written down with breathless, scrupulous accuracy. If we believe the Bible is divinely inspired, then that's a heavenly endorsement of fiction….n pple believe.. Yet we're a society that prefers concrete truths…strange innit… Non-fiction is the bread and butter of mainstream publishing n im sure as hell miles away frm even quasi mainstream…im no English major..thus wat I write is simple..no airs..Each sentence here does not have six different meanings and 12 secret levels of symbolism .. juz remember my goods are to be enjoyed first, contemplated second. Reading is not broccoli….

Andy Dick has to be the funniest man on MTV..hahahahah…he is insaaaaaaaaaaaane...

THE DRUNK BABY SISTER PART UNE (dats "one" for u dipshits who din noe..hahah..i mean..seriousli..where have u been??)

my sister juz said that she could very well drink more than me anytime anyday…n she said with such conviction that im reali startin to believe that she thinks she can..i mean i noe she lines up the charlie and lays the smack sometimes n all hahahah k i was kiddin.but alcohol?? berjesus..am I to feel honoured..or totali embarrassed…I reali have nuthin much to say…I guess there is onli one way to find out…but my sister..damn this is gonna be new..n I definitli have to clean up the puke after that….its been awhile since someone laid down the gauntlet…mayb I shd give her the phone numbers of those who have been vanquished..might pick up useful pointers…IZZU..u wanna offer some advice??..u do noe wat the math adds up to if she DOES..(god forbid) beat me rite?? And now she claims that some 20 yr old female frm the uk who is comin down on sat is gonna kick my ass too…I will have to see this…

ill update on this…foshiiizzzyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…with pictures…
so dat all of u can join in the festivities…..Merry Christmas folks…

peace..im ghost

beer n women

2005-08-18T13:37:00.000+08:00

walkin ard town in the afternoon seemed like a chore b4 i left the house...
but the women din let me down..there were sooooooooo many hotties in town..in the afternoon..amazing number of fake begadangdangs...but hey..i no complain..

with mookz n izzu its always izey to hang out..simple pple..simple wants..all i have to do is agree to their random requests for food..which ive learnt to deal with rather stylo miloly...yes..juz with milo..

charlie n e choco factory was pretty alriite...altho i so dun look like oompa loompa...say waaaat????

was talkin to this girl b4 training last nite...we were talkin abt the most random things..she told me that a girl in a short skirt was such a turn on...i begged to differ...it was juz too simple..
A GIRL IN A LONG SKIRT WITH A LOOOOOOONG SLIT ON THE SIDE...now dats a turn on..its the same theory ive preached all these yrs..acheive the "can see cannot see" look n any woman can become a zeta jones...well almost.

yeah so..she said tht chivalry's dead.men arent gentlemen animore..n i was like yeah..chivalry's dead..n u noe wat..women killed it..
u see..over the yrs..men n women have grown so apart.they dun get along no more..like we're drifting in opposite directions..
so much so..that a sizeable portion of each gender have taken to homosexuality as an easier option...hahah.there is a fundamental difference on how men n women are gonna see this...we are sure as hell not goin to see eye to eye on this...the thing is..our tests in life are different..tests??

u see..a women's test in life is "material"...a men's test in life is a woman..by tests i mean the things we desire..men have nice cars..not cos they like nice cars..but they noe that women like nice cars..cos men are hunters..n the car is the bait..n the women comes along..n says "ooh nice porsche"..."Ahhh got u bitch"

u go to a woman's house..itll be comfortable as shit...women love comfortable surroundings...u noe..if a man could fuck a woman in a cardboard box..he wouldnt buy a house..hahaha..but that still not why chivalry got killed..

chivalry got killed by the feminist movements on dem magazines that got women goin crazy..cos women got too much advice frm other women..n quite frankli..they dun noe wat the fuck they talkin abt..n its true.u dun see straight men tellin u how to arrange flowers do u???..i see the shit in the magazine..
i dun read em but i be seeing e covers..."a 100 ways to please ur man" by some lady...get outta hereeee....there are no 100 ways..ther are juz 4 ways..
suck his dick,play with his balls,fix him a sandwich n dun talk so much...n evryone will be happy...simple innit...n then the magazines trick dem women..

the magazines start pickin at their self esteem...evry page u turn u start
feelin fatter and uglier..n they feel like their clothes arent gd enuff..the magazines have them women forgetting how beautiful they reali are...its sad eh...n thats wat happens..n then if women start forgetting how beautiful they are..we ALL suffer...u see...women go guerilla after that..

i mean..ive been with my crew at a club b4..n this hot thang walks in.she looks gd.not gd in that classical way..but u noe..with half her ass hanging out of her skirt..n her titties all mashed together popping out of the top
of her turtleneck n shit..n im with my buddies rite..a coupla drinks in me...so i go up n talk to her..n i cant say anithin cept for "daaayyemm look at those titties"...the girl gets all mad n screams "wait a minute..wait a minute..juz bcos im dressed this way..does not..does not..make me a hoe"...which is true..men we gotta realize that..juz bcos they dress a certain way dun mean they are a certain way...dun ever forget it..but ladies u muz understand that that is fuckin confusing..juz imagine this..me in a cop's uniform walkin down the street...n this person comes up to me..n says "oh officer help me.some one stole my stuff..help meeeee"..
n i say "oh..plss..juz bcos im dressed this way dun make me a cop"..

so i tell the lady at the club.."allrite fine lady..fine..u are no hoe..but u sure as hell wearing a hoe's uniform..straight up"...n that's where the misunderstandings happen..but men misunderstand women too..foshizzzyyy..hahah...
women juz got too much feelin into evrythin..simple matters become so darn complicated when feelings get involved..its like a 2 on 1..u got the woman n her feelings to deal with..tuffie...

oh well...but the more pressing issue...i juz recalled an incident at a coffeeshop not too long ago..u see..the drink lady came up to me..n asked me wat i wanted yeh..so i was thinkin..n b4 i could say anithin..she said "tiger..haineekan..caarsburk"...n im like wat e fuckkkk...i mean this was sooo racist i wasnt even mad..i was upset...hahah why did she assume that i was onli havin beer...n not coke or sprite one of those shite...i could not beleive it..
but the thing is..she was absoluteli rite...how in god's world did she noe.

so i asked her.."auntie,how u noe i want to drink beer?"..n then she laughed..."aiiyaahh..indian man sit down at coffeeshop always drink beer wat"..fuck..i was upset..she juz assumed that indian men and beer were quite fond of each other..but more so..ive always thot that i drank beer cos i liked the taste of beer n how it cuts ur throat when its ice cold..turns out..im geneticali predisposed to like beer...i had no say in the matter..fuck..
hahah "2 heinken no ice please"...

john legend and pizzarelli are growin on me.....

peace im ghost..

geldof

2005-08-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

there are some in our midst who are a lil..well not that well-informed..u see..i recentli met some pple who genuinely thot that the americans won the war in vietnam...u reali cant fault em for anithin...those in my age bracket were first bombarded with issues close to vietnam when we got to watch NAM:Tour of Duty on telly way back in the day...it was my favourite series next to macgyver back then..nevr missed a single episode..esp with Rolling Stone's Paint it Black in the background of 5 soldiers havin a smokie inside a UH..

but what that made me beleive was that America was actuali the hero n the ugly bluey Vietcong with the strange straw hats were the bad guys...blessed be the history teacher back in SJI who told us the truth..

the one sided Western media had completeli turned the story ard...n little did we wonder when we watched forrest gump...cos wat Nam did was to portray a heroic America complete with gory scenes of self-sacrifice..but what they din show was the brainwashing the soldiers had been subjected in the training camps, where they were taught to stifle their moral consciences and release their instincts of aggression.

Most Nam veterans recount the horrors that they committed once they had been turned into robots:
rape, torture, villages burned, summary executions, shooting of children, prisoners thrown out of helicopters, cutting off ears (of people both alive and dead) and trading them for cans of beer...

there were also ground-rules by which the war was conducted:
"A live Vietnamese is a suspected Vietcong; a dead Vietnamese is an actual Vietcong."
"If a peasant runs away as you approach, he’s a Vietcong; if he doesn’t run away he’s an intelligent Vietcong;
in both cases he should be shot." "Only count your prisoners when your helicopter arrives, not when it leaves;
that way you won’t have to account for any that fell out en route", and so on...

nuthin surprising if u noe the truth..was watchin this thing on the BBC where this old English guy was
walkin ard the streets of Basrah n talkin to the pple there..he asked the pple if they preferred
the British army to the Americans..and no surprise no surprise..evryone loved the british..for how long?? i dunno..

its gonna b e start of another week..wonder wat this one's gonna bring...i reali hope there is somethin
crazily exciting in store...Bob Geldof was on Parkinson...i mean i respect the man for all that he has done with Live8 n all..
but the 2 songs he performed were atrocious.the music style was sooo..ermmm....im sure the boomtown rats were quite the stars..
mayb juz mayb his was more of a medium more than a dollar noted note...he was quite e lyricist tho...

All the birdies swimming in the sea
All the fishies hanging in the trees
All the people down on their knees
Rise up as one and sing
And in the middle of my troubled sleep
My hippy angel came to me
Saying chill out, be cool, stay free
I said I'm not sure what you mean
And she said

Love is all around
It's coming up from under the ground
Live like radiation
Radiate across the entire nation
Love for you and me
Moving out across the EEC
Love it goes so far
Travelling out across the USSR
Loving going all the way
Stretching right across the USA
Love in Asia Minor
Africa, India, Australia and China
Come on

All the people in their cardboard boxes
The old and lonely in their tower blockses
The frightened ones who need some calm
My hippy angel said we all must chant
And all the birdies swimming in the sea
And all the people hanging from the trees
And all the fishies down on their knees
Rise up as one and sing
Love is all around

--My Hippy Angel (Geldof)

I met a man juz now who was cryin while havin his beer…upon questioning he juz told me that it was the alcohol seeping out thru his tearducts…

strange

peace..im ghost

gues who;s back

2005-08-12T15:13:00.000+08:00

so so so..its been a while...a long while...my constant craving for somethin new and exciting has made this blogging history...but but..true love i come back to..hah...

nevr thot id say this...but i miss damn ntu...i guess i miss hanging out with the crew...

oh well...lance armstrong seems to be the man of the moment..but u gotta RESPECT...
some of us find it hard to get back to somethin after dengue..ahem ahem...but there the man wins the tour after battling cancer...AND he snags a guitar playing hottie while at it...

me n harry were havin a talk abt what makes a girl who plays the guitar n sings so hot hot hot...
she doesnt even need to be very gd looking...she still comes across as incredibly sexy...mayb cos..
she be the minority...yunno...she dun do normal girly things...mayb she does...but she stil jamz the guit and sings a tune...n dat my fren is the fresh prince's new definition of summer madnesssssssss......

the BBC has been exploding with anti-muslim programming...evry afternoon there is some bearded man battling it out with a white dude lookin all dapper...but quite frankli..i think the muslims in the UK have lost the plot...ok mayb not the general muslim population there..but their leaders are goin a lil loco...

this guy Bakri, a Syrian-born cleric who has been vilified in Britain since 2001 when he praised the September 11 hijackers, said he did not believe the bombings and attempted attacks on London were carried out by British Muslims. say waaaaaaaaat??? He condemned the killing of all innocent civilians but described attacks on British and U.S. troops in Muslim countries as "pro-life" and justified which in my opinion...is bullshit..esp the "pro-life" bit.. i mean i hate the americans..but that dun mean i wish them dead...n when will these assholes realize that we could reali go on killin each other for the next 50 yrs and nothin would come out of it...excepy mayb a serious drop in the world's population which China n India will gladly take care of im sure...

In an interview with Reuters, Bakri described Osama bin Laden, leader of the radical Islamist network al Qaeda, as "a sincere man who fights against evil forces." then comes the freaky part...
Bakri said he would like Britain to become an Islamic state but feared he would be deported before his dream was realized. hahahaha...can u imagine the queen in a scarf n stuff...and she cant have her shot of Scotch evry nite after that...

"I would like to see the Islamic flag fly, not only over number 10 Downing Street, but over the whole world," said Bakri...

but the Shoot to Kill is as foolish too....oh well...we'll see wat happens...

i dunno why evryone hates jD fortune..in my opinion..he;s the only guy there who can quite possibly take INXS somewhere.the man has it.....i mean the black dude Ty...nigger pleaaaaaassseeee...n the females...well..there is no doubt that this isnt No Doubt...so take a hike..the closest rival could onli be Mig..but he seems to b dyin out, him bein Australian might juz save his ass...

alrlite..its back to the job hunt..

peace..im ghost

coach carter

2005-06-18T14:03:00.000+08:00

our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
u playin small does not serve the world.there is nothin enlightened abt shrinkin
so dat other pple wun feel insecure ard u. we were all meant to shine as children do
its not juz in some of us..its in evryone.and as we let our own light shine..we unconsciousli
give other pple permission to do the same as we are liberated frm our own fear.our presence automaticali
liberates others.

-timo

if u havent...go do it...

supernigger

2005-05-25T16:43:00.000+08:00

i was thinking...kinda got sparked by shaft trading coats for a jedi knight..how would black superheros look
like...imagine superman...afro american...u gotta real imagine this one...lets juz attempt to
bring it down to the ghet-toh(thats how the atas blacks call it..it seems)...ok somebody give me a bassline..
this is superman...all white..blue n red..not exactli the best colour combination..

now lets trade the red briefs for some silk boxers since no self respecting man still wears crotch grabbin
briefs...lets make em blue silk boxers...n spandex?? Negro pleaaaase...this no flashdance...so we down with some
tracks and a bball jersey..We gotta get rid of superman's yellow belt...cos thats juz wrong..
we gonna pimp it with some rocks..black diamonds no? And next those red boots..that shit's weak ya'll...
bring on the timberlands...No disrespect..And finalli..the cape...a red cape?? lookin like lil red ridin' hood..
MINK...damn straight...a fur cape...

i cant seem to photoshop this..but if u picture real hard..ur sure to see him..ladies n gentlemen
i present to u SuperNigger...the latest force in law enforcement down at Compton..

there are many characters that could be niggerfied...Stuart Little would be the shiznits..
he could become Lil' Stu...but thats gotta be a photoshop miracle..so if there is anyone out there
who can somehow do the editing n make supernigger and lil stu come alive..pls do it..n holla back ya'll..hahahahah..

Bo is seriousli kickin carrie's ass...no brainer..guess the country aint goin no where near rock n rolllaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

i kinda miss school..hangin out at the smokin point with the boys...

peace

american idiot

2005-05-20T15:17:00.000+08:00

its been a while...been livin the aimless nothin to do life for a week now...n the report is out..
im not cut out for this...i cant seem to enjoy not havin anithin to do..or wakin up late..or
juz plain eating n watching tv...ive caught myself starin at the recruit section many times in a
day tryin to find that one job tht will catch my eye n hopefulli shape the rest of wat lies ahead..
harry is not makin it any easier with constant reminders that im very close to selling out
to wat i termed as cubicle corporate culture...

but for evry one presenter on discovery there are a thousand beings infront of a pc..behind a desk..
cooped in a makeshift two-wall boundary...do the math...get the odds..

star wars was simpli fantastic...we hardli spoke to each other durin the movie.shanthan was lost..i was
lost...at wat seemed like a futuristic depiction of wat present day life would be with the presence
of uber cool gadgets...i was stumped tho..present day problems..some that ive been thru...n there..
the don darth vader goin thru the same shit....shall not go into it any further so as to save those
who havent watched it yet...but a nigger jedi...thats juz wrong la...even if it was gd ol samuel..
evrytime he said somethin shan would erupt in laughter n ill juz cover my mouth...juz din look rite..
close to seeing izzu in a kong fu flick..

The dad has offered to talk to his boss if i want n decide to join him..hmmm..how strange would dat be...
me werkin next to my dad...the mum was doubtful that i would be able to match the dad...
say waaaaaaaaaaaaat???? the apple seriousli doesnt fall far frm the tree ya'll...only in terms of
bein able to do hard werk...thats where the similarity ends i guess..oh n the ability to consume
copious amounts of alcohol n go crazeeeeeeeeeeeee....we'll see..but i seriouisli dun want to
outshine him...yunno...hahahahah..as if..

Vonzell's out...the one person that reminded me of goki..hahah..she had this thing abt her...
not exactli the finest beauty..but she had that extra somethin...cant nail it down..mayb it was the smile...
sometimes thats all it takes..or in this case...doesnt werk all the time...or mayb im juz rooting
for the minority...oh well..bice has to win...he will...n miss abdul will make sure of that..hahahah

i couldnt help but notice that green day took a dig at the american idol show...the timing was almost too
perfect to be labelled coincidental..u think???

Don't want to be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new mania.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mindfuck America.

Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the idiot nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue.
Well maybe I'm the fagg*t America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.

Don't want to be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information age of hysteria.
It's going out to idiot America.

me takin shit out of context??? hmmm...like dat's a crime...

aiight..back to another day of wandering...up n down the stairs at home...

peace

club club club

2005-05-08T20:00:00.000+08:00

maaad maaaaaaaad weeekkkkeeeeendddd...it had to happen..the nite at gotham was testimony that
the mad mo fo in me is very much alive n kickin..i cant rem 90% of wateva happened..thus i cant
talk abt the nite in great detail..haha..all i noe..is we all had one maddddd time..n we made the photos
of some clubbin website...oh well...

the events b4 the club were highli amusing with the boys at harry;s place...rashmi our designated
photographer ( and the girl who totali screwed up shavin my sideburns..i was too drunk to even shave
b4 headin to the club..hahahah) took some very interesting photos...i dunno wat the hell we were
doin but there muz have been some guns n roses song in e backgrd...

sri wasnt too happy wit my air guitar playin....

we tried the different direction same focus thing...kinda werked..

ahhh...green peace...look at it shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine frm my chest..
like superman..hahahah

oh we were all wasted by the way...sooo pls do understand...

ahhh..the resumes are gonna fly out like a thousand white doves this week..i juz hope one comes back
wit an olive branch telling of a promised land..that juz wants me so bad..hahaha

im livin too fast..too crazy...but hey..love me if u dare..haha.im gonna watch it now..will throw
my 2 cents in a bit..till then

peace

seduction style

2005-05-05T21:05:00.000+08:00

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

ahhhh...i told uuuu....it was nevr intentional..hahahah...
not exactli the most overwhelming of evidence..but hey its a gd place to start..

but i seriousli dun have a clue wat the baby is doin there...ive been hearin n seeing babies a lil too much...damn slack

i spent a whole day at home..a first since the exams ended...its wat i needed..now
im ready to get out...but the slack thing is there is no where to go out at the moment..damn slack...

peace

cheshire cat

2005-05-05T04:41:00.000+08:00

Conversation between the Cheshire Cat and Alice in Alice in WOnderland

Said the Cat:"We're all mad here.Im mad..You're mad.. "
""How do you know i'm mad" said Alice
"You must be" said the Cat. "or you wouldnt have come here"

Ahhhh..the cookies from Sweet Secets nevr tasted so gd...

so back to the cat...Im at a dodgy joint..u noe those..ghetto lighting(non existent)..the occasionalbeat up ride...which suspiciousli looks stolen..ok b4 i start soundin harlem..i hope u got the scene...i meet a complete stranger...a virgin to the sorry surroundings...juz by his presence there..can i conclude that he is part of it...devoid of the information that its his first time..wat would my initial impression be?? and wat would it b based on

same token....i put 4 totalli wong li lin normal pple in a mental instituition..undercover..no one knows that their normal(relatively)...would the doctors there be able to tell?...would the other patients be able to spot the fako jackos?...apparentli not(i swear)...in all of these scenarios...the effect of expectations make evrythin seem as real as they want the beholder to believe...so does that conclude that where i am..i might juz be..

the evolution of the webpage has mirrored the evolution of mankind..wat that used to be pureli functional..has been masked by a mirage of masks and a recipe for rubbish..its this lost of the importance of pure untainted functionality that i miss...when phones were phones ...and cameras were cameras..u noe wats up..but aesthetic value does impress..the caveman would have nevr made the cover of GQ...but with an alarming digg abthow it looks over wat its basicalli supposed to do.its a beauty fixated world....is frightening...it was simpler in the 80's..i mean..hey..vanilla ice n mc hammer were cool then..how much more accepting can u possibli get.

if clouds were cars...lightning the road....and rain my fuel...where could i possibli go?? on a rainbow.. my technicoloured highway...

din understand a thing...blessed

"the most merciful thing in the world...is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its content and information" - H.P.Lovecraft(1890-1937) Cult fiction writer..

lEft Eye said...we dun need permission to unify...im out five..and im zonin..

peace

ff

2005-05-04T01:52:00.000+08:00

to a new lease of life...cheers

hjuy

2005-04-05T16:11:00.000+08:00

When i close my eyes..i like wat i see...inside my mind..
i dream abt the moon n stars above...once in a while..
i want to go to the other side..n to make it worth my while..
im gonna break down tht wall that stands between them n us all..

24 days to go..b4..im set free...where am i goin after this??
the road is young...n i have nothin to lose...
the needle's pointing to mexico...hmmm..mexico...

peace

peace

2005-03-03T22:50:00.000+08:00

they flicker dem lights...i lay here for a while...anticipatin a smile in the sky..
i see it when the crescent moon tilts to a flat...
i droppd my pen...a curbside prophet with the other hand in my pocket waitin for my rocket to come...wanting to go somewhere...a lil game for two mayb...

...there i was goin ard sch..as usual in cruise control..n there comes this indian
dude like the damn highway patrol n tells me that i shd be walkin a lil faster so dat i can get to class on time..hahah..it muz have been the headband he was wearing.McEnroe with a burnt bananaboat tan..oh well..

is there reali dat much anger in the world??? granted that its a natural feeling..but when it clouds ur evryday perceptions and evrythin u say or do is laced with somesorta anguish..somethin wrong no??
ive been wanting to talk abt it for the longest of times but held
back cos i thot it was the weather dat was wickedli shinin down on some..hahahah...but even after the rain jazzed down??
mayb its my lackadaisical style dat doesnt allow for such anger n bitterness to even threaten to wag its tongue..
but its a disturbin thot...that a significant grp are seemingli under a rain cloud 24/7...n wats more scary is that sometimes..
these very pple are those would dance in the moonlight n do the can can when its pouring...

takin stuff easy and livin evryday instead of painting the sky black is easier said than done...there are those who do beleive that life's a stage...but instead of openin evry curtain to the phantom..give CATS a chance...mayb even GREASE...loosen up a lil...as cliched as it is...life's simpli too short...

strangeli..ive profiled such angsty pple..hahaha..ok i havent..i juz notice a common thread amongst their webs...
i juz hope im wrong tho..

i was askin zu whether it would be strange buyin char kway teow from an indian man...or mee soto frm a chinese dude...
random thot...

jan din give me an answer to this...so there's this issue...can i call the ceiling the "wall on top" n the floor the "wall below"...does havin 4 walls compared to havin 1 ceiling n 1 floor make it e definin term...it wouldnt b wrong would it?

ive got this idea for a movie..was thinkin of engagin the highlevels to bring things to a higher level..mayb after the exams..wadduyusay??
its been a long time comin anyway...

start doting on e white dove
hold back no love...
look out my windows...
at my garden where peace grows

settle it within..n itll shine
shimmery silver bling bling fine
it comes to those who smile..
if u onli look up a lil while..

-izey

peace

reshmonu

2005-02-28T00:45:00.000+08:00

so did i tell u that it was simpli like that n as a matter of fact...
i nevr know wat im talkin abt....the hols juz drummed past...
as i watched the puddles gatherin rain tdae...i saw myself...i looked very
sleepy...so i slept..

i liked holland v last nite..i finalli got her name..after a yr of smilin off
n on...i was wrong..she aint malay dawg..she one of dem indian kind..sch's gonna
be a lil more fun..n this time ill do more than smile.."waaaaazaaaaaap nishaaaaaaaaaa"
shd be enuff for now...

alot has happened...went solo on my ass...but its still the same...
shd still be ace at my game..i hope..

its been a while since i drank hennesey...that thing kills u chopchop...
wit a zero hangover...atas arak..

ohh...go check out this guy..i think he's quite gd....piracy promotes music
appreciation i say...

i obviousli cant follow instructions..hahahah

ouchh

2005-02-19T06:53:00.000+08:00

yaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwnnn!!!!!!!! i have nevr been up this earli this yr...not even close...it feels kinda weird..its like i nevr fell asleep...but i remember my dreams..but the thot of jeremy goin ballistic on me for not preparin the campfire games kinda woke me up...hahah..yes..campfire games..me?? how the hell would i noe anithin abt that??? and would the kids even listen?? these guys show the other instructors the middle finger when asked to come for lunch for god's sake...oh well..
we'll see how it werks out in a while...where the hell is sembawang park???

guess me n homie shanthan are in for a road trip up north...2 pratas,1 teh n 2 ciggies..im sure we'll find our way..as always...

is it possible to love two pple if u have enuff love to go ard??? i asked izzu that n he said nothin..so i ask u...whoever u are...

ok time to pack my bags...its been awhile..i hope the boots continue to be magic fit...

let me set myself a target of 5 goals...scoring makes me happy...haha..on the pitch..not a bitch..

peace

stoned

2005-02-16T21:08:00.000+08:00

i am an aimless wanderer..but not all those who wander are aimless...especialii not those who seek truth
beyond tradition ..beyond some conformist definition..mayb beyond the clear image..

if u could realli dig ur own grave...how well would u dig it?? how would it look??
would u dig it deep..mayb install some cool surround sound system while ur at it
so that u can b laid to rest to Tupac's when thugs cry..instead of some slaaaaaack sad song...

3 project reports due..its gonna b a fantastic week...uh huh.

peace

ambrosia

2005-02-11T15:59:00.000+08:00

wat a holiday...hahah..altho i spent the two days at the same place...juz wit differnt pple..yes..thats how much i love it..it puts the laaaaak in relaaaaaaak...Mr.Praveen MP for Holland V(Brekos) has expressed his interest in standing for the next by-election in Arab Street because of this new establishment that the intrepid traveller izey discovered thanks to a beautiful punjabi girl..hahah(thanks sharon)..n no..im not sayin this cos i want to get jiggy with her...i promise *one of those smiles*....kiddin kiddin

two nites later n 50 bucks poorer...

back to skoooooooool...........

drunk monkey

2005-02-06T19:30:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAE BOBBY!!

eyes hurt...head is rockin..been high for a grand total of 52 hrs...wat started on a Friday afternoon...is drawin to a close on a Sunday evenin...if onli lex din hijack me as i was so happily walkin to the labs..oh well...il juz take it as some pre-cny partyin...dad was complainin abt the sick smell of alcohol in my breath this mornin...hahahaah...how things have changed...a yr ago..i might have been shot for that..now..he tells me to drink water...finalli...

felt like old times last nite...su,ramesh,izzu and the senior citizen crew..all staggering..it was quite a sight..bankers,engineers,lawyers and doctors all trippin along gd ol Md Sultan...

it muz have been an expensive nite tho..cos the 200 bucks i took out is no where to be found..not even a trail of receipts...slaaaaaaccckkk..time to start werkin..if i din drink or smoke..id b a millionaire..a very sad one..nono

so what's on the menu??? hahah..i asked the bartender that...she was hot..i couldnt help it..
n she was cool enuff to sing "crazy little thing called love" wit me...u noe where im goin next week..

and as i was walkin back frm 7-11 at 6 this mornin after gettin my Gatorade
..totali wasted..i started singing..i was reali happy..for no apparent reason..but it was the choice of song that kinda freaked me out...

how the hell did louis armstrong factor in memory..???

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world

i couldnt do the whole raspy voice tho...tried..sounded too bad even for a drunk man to enjoy..hahah

peace

moment

2005-02-04T21:07:00.000+08:00

time seems awkward when it appears in abundance...the bridges u crossed along the way seem to be lost in a realm where minutes and seconds dun factor....wateva that happened yrs ago seems to have juzt zebra-crossed u...if time din factor i wouldnt have an age n i will nevr b old...ill be peter pan in a fleeting world..where ill be nevr late or nevr earli..ill juz be there n where ..at that one moment..not in time..but the at that moment in space..A flight of fancy on a windswept field....standing alone my senses will reel ..Condition grounded but determined to try...i wun keep my eyes from the circling skies...above this planet on a wing and a prayer...Out of the corner of my evr-watering eye....a dream unthreatened by the morning light....suspended animation, A state of bliss... sleeeeeeep

evr crossed a bridge over troubled waters??? wat were u thinkin jzu b4 u got on that bridge?? imagine..if u couldnt see the end of the bridge...would u still cross it?i reckon i would... my dad always told me itll be easier for me to fly if i didnt have a log tied to my ankle..at the age when evrythin was black n blue i wondered whats a log doin on my leg?? now i noe...but wat if im strong enuff to fly carryin that log rite beside me?? n wat if that log made me strong enuff to withstand sii beh strong winds..how then??

does a moment go away when u close ur eyes???i guess it does...i wonder how long a moment lasts...count the spaces in between

peace

btw sunrise n sunset

2005-02-01T22:58:00.000+08:00

so im not immortal..a damn virus got me...altho im still stickin to my initial self-diagnosis..damn doc doesnt noe wat she's talkin abt...wanted me to live on porridge for 3 days...outttaaaa yr daaaaamn mind biiiaattcchh..porridge..thats like the sickest thing in the world...if the day when i can ONLI eat porridge comes..ill eat a whole chicken n die..

sch has taken on a whole new look this sem..faces i dun recognise.young boys who have the same look i had a coupla yrs back..all actin garang..haha..while i look like ill die if the wind blew a lil too hard..i look up..i see traffic in the sky too...shadows on the pavement...if they ask me..how do u noe?? then ill juz say it isnt so hard to tell..not to worry tho..the horizon hasnt been defeated by the power of the new age...

i reali wonder why my mum sabos me by leavin her FEMALE magazine near my pile of books...haha..the rocky soundtrack is the shiznits this week...listen to the "final fight" n "no easy way out"...thats old skool rock...wit the keyboards n snow-snotting lead singer...

they're cuttin the CHINESE language workload in schools by more than half...
then wat happens to the pple like me who struggled to get over the craaaaaazee shiit in tamil class???
oh...i forgot..we dun matter...n they blame us for havin anti-establishment streaks..

the Ceylonese old guy got jailed...for fakin someone's death..hahah..thats a slack way to go la brudder..so since he is soooo respected in the community..wats gonna happen after this?? He cant go to Ceylon Rd temple again..oh poor guy...but i guess thats the price u pay when evryone noes who u are..n u somehow fuck up.....
uh huh.....

dinesh got a yr..his wife is soooo hot...soooooooo hot....u think they gonna toss his salad inside??? hahah...
but quite sad eh..A judge's and a NMP's son in jail..dayeemmm...
wat if he comes out gay??? then the hot wife??

i shdnt be doin this cos its so out of character...but for those who still beleive in it...n i muz say it might juz make the perfect gift this yr.the DVDs of course..check it..

(1995)

Before Sunrise is a passionate and intelligent romance between a young American (Jesse)
and a French student (Celine). A chance encounter on the train incites intrigue,
and Jesse provocatively suggests that Celine postpones her return to France and
embarks instead on a spontaneous expedition to Vienna. In the course of their 14-hour relationship, the two share in their love for the unrehearsed and their appreciation for the unexpected as they explore in a powerful meeting of hearts and minds. Dawn breaks. Sad in silence, they make their way to the station. As they bid each other farewell, Jesse is seized by another impulse - another encounter

9 years later

(2004)

Jesse and Celine spent one night together nine years ago, and each has been
haunted by the possibility of the life they might have shared. When a novel
Jesse has written about the experience brings them together again, they find
they have a second chance to recover their lost love.

too little time ..too much love..i think so too...

ahem ahem..

happppppppppppy...i dunno y...juz...oh i noe y..cos its time for a smokie...got new light in my rm n all...
yes totali off tangent...

i better run..oh b4 i go..

Right inside the night...im waitin for e light, seems like
im in e middle
Workin for somethin that i can't touch n sometimes
can't even believe in
Cradled by e hands of fate e faith dat
sometimes wraps around too tight .... so tight
They call me free....but i call me a fool

how come no one listens to babyface no more??? hahahahah

peace

haji haji haji hoho

2005-01-23T14:47:00.000+08:00

another saturday afternoon...ive kinda woken up cause of no fault of my own...Sri will be turnin 25 tmw..the third one to reach the quarter life point within the sacred ring..im jus glad ill be the last..

i cant seem to stop starin at her..
but then again why would i wanna do that huh..

im finding it very hard to pen down my thots these days.poetry n prose,factoid n fiction competing for attention frm
my fingers..n somehow i dun think im thinkin dat much too...
in e past lookin at a tree in e wind would trigger off some eccentric double take..i juz look past em these days...

oh..let ur ears enjoy shola ama n estelle...i think they are pretty allrite...

my muslim brothers...i feel ur pain..gotta wait till sunday...but hey..at least now i can join in since i dun have to be vegetarian on sunday :) shippin sheep is always gonna be a problem...can u imagine bein one of them..thinkin they are goin on some holiday..onli to be brought to another country..to b killed in the name of religion..
muz be quite slack eh...if God din give in at the last moment n allow Abraham to sacrifice a lamb instead of his son..can u even imagine wat would be happenin tdae?? would we be shippin lil boys frm somewhere?? i reali think they
shd stop foolin themselves abt the whole sacrificing thing n juz accept that its a chance to get free mutton..oh cmon..

i was a lil shocked at the amt spore is spendin..on foreign relief..when im pretty sure some pple in sunny spore are in need of dire help...agreed that helpin them would somehow perpetuate a state of welfare n that my frens is heaven..hahahah
ok its not..but still..logic i understand..but seeing that lil kid all dirty n bruised in the alley the other day made logic take a backseat in my cadillac dream..

pity the guy who died cos he jumped out of the building...i guess in times of distress most pple cant seem to think str8..me included..he would have survived u think?? if he din hit the other guy?? but what if the other guy also died..then would he have killed someone n himself while tryin to escape a fire that was goin to kill him..damn..St.PEter n that dude would have had one hell of a debate at the gates then...

The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness. Luke 11:3.

anyone care to explain??

peace

peace

2005-01-16T17:42:00.000+08:00

if u read the papers tdae..u would have known...state of affairs in the world...the concept of a civil war baffles me...Why when the price of it will be paid with interest..Civil wars differ radicalli frm both international wars andcommunical violence.Unlike international war, its fought outside any structure of rules and entireli within the territoryof society. Unlike communal violence, it implies a rebel organization equipped wit armaments and staffed wit full timerecruits.Such rebel armies usualli have little option but to live off the land.These features typicalli escalatethe social costs of a civil war waaay above the costs of either an international war or communal violence...n they still do it..

i was readin a book durin class on fri..in it..the main character got dissed by his ex-wife for referrin to heras his "wife"...i somehow started think abt the fleeting nature of relationships these days..or at least whereromance "seems" to be concerned...u see..its not possible to have an ex-father or an ex-brother..mayb cos these arerelationships that u are born into...n not made out of our own will...but that does put any relationship we make intoa biiiig basket labelled "intensive care"...critical condition...might go anytime...i wonder...but would u still takethe chance??? of course u shd...cos if life was all abt livin it safe...then how are u evr goin to fully appreciatethe sunset at the end of a gloomy day...or the sunrise after a ruff nite...
i was bored...

yes..laugh ur heads off....

this job search thing is gettin a lil slack...the daddy still wants me to apply to do my masters...but in wat???anithin he says..so if i did...saaaay...music..would he mind??hahah..methinks he'll disown me..but i guess..after all that is happenin here..or more like..not happenin here..itll be awesome to juz go away for a few yrs..ive been ard for far too long...i gotta do a houdini real soon..

i sat down on my bed lookin out far....caught sight of a horizon..ive been lookin out of this window for a decade..n not till now..did i see it..fragments of freedom piecing themselves together...i noe i have slipped the net...buti want to cut myself free...hahahah..more like tear...n ud think i would have learnt by now..that ther's nevran easy way...but hey ill get thru somehow..

peace

babylove

2005-01-05T23:07:00.000+08:00

despite evrythin that ive done n evry girl ive gone out with..i still remember her..i nevr had to repress the memory bit that had her name,face n smile stored...i was 5 bareli 6...n there was ruby..the first girl that i liked..St.Joseph's kindergarten..the place..we used to talk on the phone for hours...n then meet up in kindergarten again in the morning and talk some more..i always wanted to go n water the plants with her..n i did..i protected her against the water-bottle-snatchin Simon on the school bus..hahahah...Ruby Lee...how old skool is dat name...its been 17 yrs..n i can still rem how she looked like wit that apron on;washin the garden tools and how the fireworks juz went off evrytime
Ruby smiled...hahah..

i wish

do u rem the first girl that rocked ur boat?..way back when it wasnt abt the kissin or the touching..juz plainli innocently sittin down next to her n singing the alphabets...i do...

shall not talk abt the new yr's party cos i guess it spoke for itself...but i survived...yes yes.i did...got wasted but zero problems...yesyes..i din do anithin wrong..will dat set the tone for the new yr..hmmm...i highly doubt so..haha
oh well...

so i say hello...out of her head she sang...another september midnight..ok 2 minutes to midnite..
was listenin to lennon...again..questions...

imagine there is no heaven..its easy of u try..
no hell below us..above us onli sky..
imagine all the people..living for tdae..

u may say im a dreamer..but im not e onli one..
i hope someday u'll join us..and the world will be one

i take a look at myself sometimes..sometimes i stop for juz a split second while im talkin..n ask myself.."did u reali mean wat u juz said?"...most of the time this happens when pple ask me wat i want out of life..or where i see myself in say 15 yrs..most of u noe wats the answer to that..but is that reali the answer...
made me think when i met some girls frm college last nite with the boys..ive known this girls for say 8-9 yrs..n some of the things they said last nite..din tally with the stuff they were talkin to me abt at the party when they
were so wasted...hmmmm..so i think...

My stupid mouth
Has got me in to soooooooooo trouble
I said too much again in fact all the time

Oh another social casualty
Score one more for me n keep it rising
How could I forget even if im drunk
Mama said think before speaking esp to a lady
No filter in my head like u have one
Oh what's a boy to do..go back n esap lolli

no body told me..

peace

31st

2004-12-31T14:37:00.000+08:00

I could never finally figure out if more things happened in the sixties because there was more awake time for them to happen in (since so many people were on drugs), or if people started taking drugs because there were so many things to do that they needed to have more awake time to do them in... Seeing everybody so up all the time made me think that sleep was becoming pretty obsolete...but when i lie down on my bed n stare at my skylike ceiling...it doesnt seem so obsolete animore..its the safest place to be...

18 hrs of sleep a day makes u rethink ur options..kinda makes dreamland so much moreappealing...altho last nite's dreams were full of coppers n shit like dat...close calls..n near misses..hmmmm

so...its almost 05...quite simpli this yr was very eventful...i had a job for a while..nearli got fired..fancied a few..was tickled by a few..lost some...won some...n now im here...not far frm where i was in dec 03..hmmm...where will i be a yr frm now??? i dun want to be on the highway to hell..oh no nah uh huh...

i guess its not easy to b anybody...n ive also learnt that evryone has anyone has some kinda hidden agenda..yes yesthe code of the hidden agenda..i mean no matter how cool a girl is at the start..as the days go by..her hidden agendasomehow surfaces n most of the time its sooooooooooo overwhelmin that u reali have to reconsider the future u somehowthot would happen...its scary...cos i guess.. wat u see ..most of the time..is not wat ALL u get...
oh well..the party is on at harrys tnite...the alcoholic watermelon is waiting to kill...n come midnite...i ll be reali nostalgic i guess....as usual...oh well...it might be my last new yr's day as a student...hmmmm..i might as well make full use of it then...

thank you evryone..if u evr sprinkled salt or pepper on my life...would be tasteless without any of u...

HAPPY NEW YR FOLKS!!!

peace

yuuo

2004-12-22T22:08:00.000+08:00

its 2 days till christmas..n here i am 12 hours before an examination completeli full of noodles thanks to my dearestmother (why do women like to stuff me with food till i cant move)...i cant seem to think..there fore i cant study..hmm..gd enuff reason..

well at least the house aint quiet animore since the kamzter has landed..but since she is sooo "happenin" she aint at homenow which puts me back exactli where i was a few months ago..dayeeemmm nigggaaaa...

i shdnt be complainin ...ive had a party n a half..its all been in my head...thinkin abt it over n over again...am i reali who i think i am...how sure are u of urself??? wat if uve been foolin urself all this while...??n somehow ...a lie became the truth juz cos of the sheer length of time its been made the truth..hahahahah...maaan..then i gotta start some serious lying...n i gotta lie for a long long time...

i applied for a job in Dubai last nite cos i was bored...im hopin i get to apply for one in Istanbul real soon too..but itll be realli funny if i land up on Jurong Island as an engineer..hahhaha..ill prolli start laughin at myself..

dad finalli fessed up to not takin me seriousli abt the pilot thing...kinda pissed me off big time..but i maintain cool la..hahaha...i found solace in juz sittin down at the arrival hall n juz watchin all the stewardesses walk by...i felt a slight urge to go up to em n yunno..do the whole " how u doin"..ok who am i kiddin..i would nevr do that..its real nice when the dream is so close...doesnt seem so far animore...that also means..that my maddd ass days arealmost numbered..mayb not...maybbb nottt...if my job entails me bein a crazy mo fo..ahhh..heaven i say...

ok back to dem notes..

peace
im ghost

breasts and beaches...

2004-12-10T13:33:00.000+08:00

track masterz...rock on..shane the man is back in spore...n harry juz signed a new contract with UBS Singapore...so big it up evryone..the boys are almost back...finally i wun be alone in my pursuits of a higher order..haha..how i simpli love dat word...u have no ideaaaaaaaaa...

so..ive been told to write an essay..i could choose between Pop Art and its influence(the rise of popular culture in America)..and.. Art as a means of propaganda in ancient Rome...
choice pretty clear eh...but Andy Warhol was a nut n a half

EvryONE WILL BE FAMOUS FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES - Andy Warhol

...i guess i can try n relate...but that lichtenstein guy is beyond comprehension..
i showed my lecturer the picture i have on the top of my blog... she actualli appreciated it..n i was told that kind of art was called surrealism... the proponents of Surrealism, a European visual arts and literary movement, explored the direct expression of the unconscious
unobscured by rational thought. It was kinda influenced by Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytical theories..
As much as i think freud was a nut..i kinda felt a lil honoured that his
name was mentioned in the same sentence as mine...ahem ahem...now now..

im suddenli missin Left Eye like crazy..i dunno y...i used to love that brat..
she was like the coolest girl i knew...n she could rap...n she was soo..
whacked..yet hot..thats like the ultimate combi...n those round round eyes...maaaaaaaaaaan...

someone reali looks so gd,it hurts sometimes...but she cures it right away...
the search for career alternatives is gettin tuffer as the days go by..

went to watch "after the sunset" after the last sunset..salma saved that movie...me n the boys were hypnotized by dem lovely ermmm..beaches...okae okae..she had an amazin pair of breasts mon...n her body was like wowiwwkamozeeeeeeeeeee....definitli worth another $7.50...breasts and beaches..paradise no?

me n my crew fillin up the exclusives...
but ive got a girl on e back of my mind's door
as i sip my drink n check out the dance floor
cant seem to say the how u doin miss..
even if they come close n try temptin a kiss
i do wat i gotta do and get the hell movin'...
cos all the man wants is some real lovin'..

peace

backk

2004-12-09T13:13:00.000+08:00

its been a while...december knocked...n i still din wake up..
couple dat with a completely female computer(erratic), keyboardin
my thots on e highway was completeli impossible..frankli i havent
been doin anithin much to be writing abt..other than the usual
gettin wasted n sleepin till its nite again...thats when u get
a weird sense of time...how would i feel like if i never saw
e sun for say a week??? lets all try that...im pretty sure
we'll be fucked...terok terok...

i met a fantastic guitarist yest..he was singing the blues at simei mrt..
no biggie rite??? well he was blind..now brudder brudder...
dats a fuckin biggie...but i spent a gd hour listenin to him while
waiting for my fren to come...simpli fantastic...nothin like
live acoustics..

exams were slack...out of 8 ,onli walked out of 4 knowing full well ill pass...
the rest will be in the hands of the goddess of moderation...goddess bcos
the ladies are normali nicer to me...hahahah....

hope my new computer comes wit cool movie editing werkz...
was walkin down some lonely alley n this brilliant idea struck...
i saw a kitten climbin out of a pail...n it came right up to me...
i carried it back to the pail n put it inside where there was food n
a blanket...then this song came to mind..
"oooh kitty kitty its a wild word..its hard to get by out of a pail.."
so im gonna make the new music video for that song originali done
by cat stevens...oh my..how appropriate..

the elective im takin has been phat like crazy..
i always knew a liberal arts education would fulfill my
thirst for knowledge more than the engineering crap ive been
thrown into..but im enjoyin it..GV07 Modern art history has been the
shiznitz so far..but sometimes it gets a lil weird when
evry lesson i have to look at least 20 pairs of breasts...n mayb
3 dicks...after a while it gets a lil borin...other than that
evrythin's cool in class...

harry n the boys brought me on my birthday journey to drunkdom on sat nite..
started at 6 pm n ended at 6 am after which i nearli died but thankfulli
prav beat me to it...but that attica place is sooo atas but as per most atas places,
they had the hottest women...so no complains...

this damn sore throat is gonna kill me soon...time for another
ciggie to make me feel alil better...

peace im ghost

away

2004-10-20T13:02:00.000+08:00

EXAM TIME....ill be back when december knocks

peace

stoic

2004-10-15T18:05:00.000+08:00

Stoic

- One who is seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure, or pain

ive been called this over n over again...that lateli ive started to beleive that hey
i may reali be all that...but i noe its far frm the truth...it has become somewhat
of a prophecy fulfillin itself..but denial is futile..attitude remains

talkin to rashidah after sooo long made me see the person i was in the past for awhile..i nevr knew this day would come...when she and i can sit down at a downtown cafe,have a meal and talk abt the past and actuali laugh abt it...n then carry on talkin abt e dating scene these days and how tough it is to find the right person...im glad we r here tho...i noe many pple close to me who nevr got to njoy these kinda things with their ex-s...but i am..ive gained a fren who noes me like an open book n who will be there for me...someone who i would have almost lost forever if i din see the bigger picture...Yes..you can b frens with ur ex...evry mistake is to be forgiven n forgotten..cos the time we have to live..is seriousli too short to be carryin such baggage ard...

i miss..matt n T-bob

last nite's Singapore Idol show was soooo bad...with e exception of Taufik, the rest churned out performances that would have made Phua Chu Kang singing Sinatra sound good...wit Jerry as usual takin the cake...i mean wat the fuck is that guy still doin ard???i mean even if e whole of city harvest votes..he shd alreadi noe that he sucks like fuck...i bet when he DOES leave..whenever that happens...
u can prolli hear roars of "finaaallliii" resounding thru the neighbourhoods...

reading karen's blog shook my head a lil...frankli a guy who goes ard sayin that all he wants to is juz have a madfuck is AS disgusting as a girl doin the same..there is nothin wrong in e act itself...yes this aint a holier than thou stand..but but..i guess..subtly hinting and flirtin to get there would be far more appropriate than blatantli rippin' victoria off n screamin "fuck me now"..yuckkk..
personal point of view...i think ill juz start pukin..hahah ..the choice is clear when its Lil Kim vs Ashanti...

the china girls in sch are looookin real fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine these days...hahaha
nah uh huh..in dat aspect..i aint racist..equal opportunities for all..hahah

are there reali guys who are scrubs??? frankli i noe of none...sittin on their asses n expecting their gfs to pay for em...i mean..wat kinda shit is dat?? how can u even state ur case if u r doin that...i dun think ill evr be able to take a female callin me a scrub..i dun think ill allow such a situation to even surface..EVER...my ego wouldnt allow it...no man's ego shd allow it...by dat i do not mean that juz cos i pay for evrythin all dem ladies gotta listen to me n that
im always right...nono..not like dat..its somethin personal..so all u bra burnin ones...keep em on..hahah
light my fire in other ways pls...

im feelin kinda hungry cos my high is kinda comin down..i think i need a kappatea..
i miss izzu alreadi...siiiiiiiiiighhhh.....

peace

coke

2004-10-14T13:50:00.000+08:00

The cure for boredom is curiousity..N there is no cure for curiousity...i second...ive done alotta stuff cos there was nothin else to do...doesnt make much sense does it...i mean im a nice dude eatin ice cream...but hey if im done with it..id b lickin somethin else...like a lollipop...im suuuuuuuuureee..
its that time of the year again...where nothin seems to be happenin...suddenli the diary of events looks empty..i feel like a social reject...feel bein the operative werd...cos in a matter of minutes id b on the topof the world again...

im sure evryone has been readin the papers abt the latest coke busts..its a lil depressing...the lil pockets of seclusion the underground community used to njoy are slowli bein dug out by the govt...i mean...wat the fuck is up wit em man??these pple were juz mindin their own n snorting some shit at their private places...n these were not bums..biig up professionals who had evrythin goin for em n yet juz open for a lil unsingaporean idea of fun..not evryone njoys karaoke,goin for supper and gambling yunno...there are some of us who pay gd money to go on trips..travellin without moving...that dun make us bums...wateva happens..heart out to our fella trippers...prayers wit em..

to the uninformed...

Cocaine is an alkaloid found in leaves of e South American shrub Erythroxylon coca...it is a powerfully reinforcing psychostimulant. e drug induces a sense of exhilaration in the user primarily by blocking the reuptake of e neurotransmitter dopamine in the midbrain...which is generalli an extremity of wat nicotine does....it delivers an intensity of pleasure completely outside e normal range of human experience. It offers e most wonderful state of consciousness, and the most intense sense of being alive, the user will ever enjoy. the (ab)user(hahahaha) will access heightened states of being whose modes are unknown to chemically-naïve contemporaries. Groping for adequate words, cokies sometimes speak of the rush in terms of a "whole-body orgasm".....oh well..i guess karaoke does the same...fuckin manjans...
In search of the coke big bang

hook us up suchi..hahahahh

peace

elvisn mj

2004-10-09T13:32:00.000+08:00

i woke up frm a dream...n then started to daydream..i wonder..do u have to use a silencer when u shoot a mime??? u noe..pple make wine frm grapes n then let it age...so would it be allrite if i used old raisins n gulped it down immediateli??

in life we tend to get selfish n self centred...i dunno abt u..but it happens to me sometimes..when evrythin in front of me happens to be an obstacle...an obstacle i want to magnum down...i mean if half of these pple died right now..ill be
somewhere...

flirting is a complicated game...its all abt the concept of possibility...u have a few drinks..talk to a few ladies..n u see how far u can go..but not actuali go that far...innuendos help but there is always the risk of soundin lewd..n then as u talk to a few..u happen to see another one across the room..n u r like "hey...i din noe she was alive"...
i have a problem tho..when im talkin to a girl..i happen to forget the sequence..i dun use the openin line...i almost always use the "so how was it the last time?"...n it gets me into some serious trouble..."So u want to come over to my place??" doesnt werk too...

i miss Elvis...Elvis was the man..the king of rock n roll..the man may be the single most impt figure in American 20th century music.Not neccesarili the best,and certain not the most consistent.but no could argue with the fact that he was
the musician most responsible for popularizin rock&roll on an international level the way bobby brought reggae to the masses..Presley was not the very first cracker to sing RnB but he was certainli the first however to assertiveli fuse country
n blues music in to the style now known as rockabilly.Unfortunateli Elvis is more icon than artist...bad movies,extreme caricatured records n mannerisms and a personal life that becomes steadili more bizarre...it gave his story a somewhat
mythic status...n sadli by the time of his death(cmon now...) he had become more a symbol of gross Americana...but u could nevr doubt that Elvis was all MAN...yeah he drank like crazy n ate like junkie on munchies..but hey..we all
have done that at some point in our lives...but but...

take a look at the King of POP....he'd prolli get wasted on a shot...he doesnt look like he eats...i mean..yeah..im a product of the goldren 1980s...Thriller,BAD,Off the Wall...that was when he was normal..but the man has issues...i mean..its NORMAL
to have a drink too many or a burger too many..but sleepin with lil kids...i mean thats juz wrong...thats not a human mistake...its not even stated in the 7 deadli sins.i mean the jailhouse rocked but not in that way..blame childhood trauma...i mean who's childhood wasnt traumatic man..u were a metre tall n evryone
could beat the fuck outta u...which is why i think that POP music is more evil than RNB...yes i do admit that RnB is the devil chanting...but hey...POP..is juz waaaaaaaaaaay whacked..take a look at britney n christina n u savvy...

on that topic i was watchin the newlyweds on MTV last nite...Nick n JEssica were havin an argument..Nick said that the girls werkin at Hooters were juz doin a decent job.white tank tops n shorts..totalli fine by me...n Jessica juz plainli refused to accept that
n accused em of bein sluts..i mean wats up with that???...thats the same woman who had a photo of her in her undies on the covers of Rolling Stone...im sure she vacuums her home in that...muz b reali warm down in Malibu...i hate this holier than thou attitude some pple have even when they have shit on em...i mean..hey if u done somethin close juz shut the fuck up n save urself..n kudos to NIck for puttin her in her place on international TV...

how many times have u heard women say that naah it aint the size of the ship..its juz the motion of the ocean...but it sure takes a long time to go to England on a rowboat...anyman who says that all men are equal has obviousli nevr been to a men's locker room...

i was thinkin...i need to find a road...off the beaten path to find where i belong..n if fievel goin there..im goin there too...

peace...

imghost

playgrd world

2004-10-06T17:07:00.000+08:00

a midnight gabfest wit a considerabli precious one kindled colossal woolgathering on the anti-bourgeois beleif that the world is indeed one's playground...where you are at the liberty to go down a slide at dress-lifting speeds and climbtrees that reach the sky...i for one have always perceived the world as my playground..an Atlantis or Fantasia of sorts...where dawn n dusk appear in eternal rounds of the merry go...without name i can comprehend most forms...the forms that appear in front of my jim beamed vision..Illusionary is but the identity of all objects yeh...

If the world is a playground..dat would make all the countries the innocent children..then wat would dat make me?? well..i am a country then..wit my own laws..my own reggae beat national anthem and a 5 pronged leaf on evry note...Remember those playgrounds that had sand instead of the wussy foam ones these days...its that very sand that makes u tuff..the countless cuts after attemptin to catch a deft maat off the monkey bars...u somehow learn that yes its gonna be painful if u fall but u can always wait to heal n then get back at it again bruised n better...that foam juz gives u a fall sense of security..of course its gonna hurt like fuckin crazy if u fall lil boy...there aint no foamy cushions catchin u in the real world...im tryin my best to handle this deftli so that it doesnt condescend (i had to...altho it almost killed) to preachiness...

the playground is also where one establishes the concept of a race relations...heartlanders like me used to gang up wit the malay boys to dunk durian headed lil chinese boys in the sand ( now u noe that the 4 commandos were def heartlanders)whenever they screamed "APPPUUUNNEEHHNEHHHHH!!!!!"....u learnt that the minorities have to stick together if they evr want to be heard...cos pigs make alotta noise n raw pork stinks...haha..nono..im referrin to those cheena pok ones..not the cosmopolitan chinese individual who has more "crass" than that while have issues wit "l" and "r"...while racial tensions were part of the fabric n texture of playground war it nevr became e raison d'etre.no reason to b malicious towards a frenli hand of another shade of brown(they arent yellow...reali..yellow is the colour of dustbins)...

ive been at home for a grand total of 96 hours...i miss my sister like hell..its a very sleepy n quiet playground at home...but the slides at those kind are alwaysthe best...cos if u fall awkwardli..no one's watchin..alas, this be it, the bloody separation wave of me leavin my playgrd..I know not what else is in store ahead of me as i take the trip to the nanyang...Though the hands n feet don't move, the eyes are alive....Wine and goblet, let them stay in front of me...conscience is my companion and trusted friend...but remember...don't pass any judgments in front of me...

peace

im ghost

smokin econ

2004-10-02T15:18:00.000+08:00

n there i was..half a body hanging out of the 9th storey window...flirting wit danger..not the prospect of fallin down..i mean cmon..me iz ze zooooperman...but the possibility of my dad comin out of a cab n seein me wit a burnin' light by my side..but took e risk anyway...i suddenli thot of the first time i evr held a ciggie..n somehow the price of lucky strikes came to mind..2.30...for 10 sticks..i miss that lil pack...that fit so snugly in dem Levis

9.80 for 20..of course we talkin onli abt dem marlboros...since i come frm the faction that beleives that if u r gonna die u r better off dyin smokin the best stuff..it does help that i get my smokies frm some enterprising fren of mine..who onli charges 5 bucks for 20 swiss made marlies...

neways..the point of my discourse was that the damn govt are fuckin smart mudderfuggers who are c.p.o...they go to great lengths to educate the public abt the harm smokin causes...simultaneousli increasing the price...of course its common knowledge that the cost price doesnt change..therefore its dem taxes that are soleli responsible for the hike...so simple econs hey..

even if the smoking population does dwindle ,the tax revenues earned by the govt either remains the same or increases...in no way will it decrease...since higher tax multiplied by a smaller population would somehow b equal to lower tax multiplied by a larger population..n wats the biiiiig cover up..."An increase in price would deter pple frm buyin ciggies"..go fuck urself..who u smokin'(pardon the pun)??? n u thot they cared....its still a very stupid habit tho.aint biggin it up.but hey..i rather have a smoker next to me than a backstabber...

oh well...i need a smoke bomb..to go do my thang..n then get the hell out..could
do it under the cover of darkness..but how would onli she see me??? hmmm
but but...u see..im the kinda guy that is built to last..if u fuck wit me..i will
definitli put a foot in ur ass...but i guess i dun show it...which i think its the
right way to be...no slick ninja showcases his shurikens aiight..hahahah

COS I AM!!!

sometimes i do think im a nightmare walkin'..a psychpath talkin'..still the king
of the jungle..but these ladies ard me..they givin me names like no other...but the
man accepts...as usual...

hahhahhaha..ur grandfather laaaaaaaaaa...im the clown @ Disneyland...n u noe how
evil Krusty can get...

i had sooooooooo much fish tdae...animore n ill grow a fin..now how stylissmo would dat b???..random thot...u can be Anti-Moslem..by prayin to the West 'stead of the East...

k evryone...turn ur speakers up..hurry hurry..done??? trust me..i pack more knowledge
than confuscious...okae...i trust that its done...aiight then..great..uve got volume..n we all need some volume some time..glad i was of help...ur welcome..but watch it..u might trip n fall if u wanna do wat i do...

my baby sister got robber off her phone a coupla days ago..but my honey handled it well..if she had a chance she would have beat the fuck out of him..but pity speed aint exactli factorin in e family's genetic code..hahahah..at least now she can claim a new phone for real..the wonders of insurance..

i hear that midnite is the new noon...watch any ancient movie(1950s-1970s :) ) n ull find pple meeting up for lunch or juz lazin ard in the afternoons...goin out at nite was reserved for stuff like lame ass proms n will-i-get-laid dates...but these days...its soo normal to meet up at the devil's wakin hour..with all the 24 hour foodie places...n all nite clubbin..maaan..midnite is indeed the new noon...

'rub ur titties if u luv hip hop..take it off sweeties..if u love hip hop'
'grab ur dicks if u luv hip hop..niggas goin rub a dub dub dub'
Junior M.A.F.I.A are out of their mind..

outt
imghost

peace

motorcycle diaries

2004-09-30T13:24:00.000+08:00

im takin my freedom from off the shelf..n puttin it in my stroll..walkin' to my ride...drivin'...to the end of the road...

movie not to miss...

In 1952, two young Argentines, Ernesto Guevara and Alberto Granado, set out on a road trip to discover the real Latin America. Ernesto is a 23-year-old medical student specializing in leprology, and Alberto, 29, is a biochemist.The film follows the young men as they unveil the rich and complex human and social topography of the Latin American continent.
With a highly romantic sense of adventure, the two friends leave their familiar surroundings in Buenos Aires on a rickety 1939 Norton 500. Although the bike breaks down in the course of their eight-month journey, they press onward, hitching rides along the way. As they begin to see a different Latin America in the people they meet on the road, the diverse geography they encounter begins to reflect their own shifting perspectives.

They continue to the heights of Machu Picchu, where the majestic ruins and the extraordinary significance of the Inca heritage have a profound impact on the young men. As they arrive at a leper colony deep in the Peruvian Amazon, the two are beginning to question the value of progress as defined by economic systems that leave so many people beyond their reach. Their experiences at the colony awaken within them the men they will later become by defining the ethical and political journey they will take in their lives.

Based on the journals of both Alberto Granado and the man who would later become “El Che,” The Motorcycle Diaries follows a journey of self-discovery, tracing the origins of a revolutionary heart.

Let e world change you..n then..u can change the world

peace

dinosaurs

2004-09-27T13:31:00.000+08:00

imagine there's no heaven..its real easy if u try..no hell below us..above us onli sky..imagine all w pple...livin for today..Imagine there's no countries..it isnt hard to do..Nothin to kill or die for..and hey no religion too...Imagine all e pple..livin life in peace..U may say im a dreamer but im not the onli one..i hope someday ull join me..and the world will be as one..

ive had a very wishwash weekend...stayed at home as much as possible to spend time
wit my sister...in abt 9 hrs..she'll be off halfway across the globe...a distant land..where my eyes cant see but onli my ears can hear...no more random calls of affection for some time i guess..n no one to fight over the remote with n no one to constantli irritate me..fuck..i hate it when this happens..
yeah i noe..its onli for 3 months..but still???
oh well...i cant say much...since i gotta be the strong one in the family...n that totali sucks...keepin it all in..n maintainin composure...at the tuffest of times...its hard bein male sometimes...

i did get to talk to an old fren over the weekend too..another one of those hippies who somehow got away along
the course of life...glad she is doin well..distributing condoms in botswana...
ive wondered many times how life would be if i wasnt who i was...if i was a stuck up uptight stubborn stingy dick..hmmmmm....nah not nice at all...i rather be me...freee wheeeelin' over the place...

karen n zee refused to accept that if i was a dinosaur id be a TRex...y cant i be a TRex?? huh huh huh huh???
i am big tall n ferocious.....n i eat lil pple for breakfast...
they somehow thot i was a brontosaurus...blardeeee helll...well..since the existence
of the bronto is questionable..im technicalli a TRex..dun ask me the logic of it all...i dun commit that kinda sin...leave logic to the fuckin' geeks...

attended a recruitment talk on friday by the Boston Consulting Group...havent felt that dumb in a long long while..the presenter went on n on on how BCG onli hires the best n that evryone was frm a top tier business school..n that there is no room for this n that...i kinda got the hint n duly walked out after 20 mins...
i guess i shall juz stick to flyin...n u wonder if ill commit suicide if i dun get in..
i dun think i will..i value my life alot..n i think evryone shd..altho in some circumstances its pretty understandable y pple wanna take their own lives...

Physically weary..mentally depressed..spiritually defeated..when they feel like discarded refuse in the back alley..like yesterday;s newspaper..n most importantli emotionalli torn n tattered...The difficulties and trials of life can be enormously draining and wearying.... creating confusion in the mind and despair or anger in the heart............Opposition or illness can wear the strongest down.
And there are always past mistakes that may catch up with you....but wateva it is...
i still think suicide is the easy way out for the weak...altho it might be the onli way for some...

oh n if u r wondering why im talkin abt this..someone my dad noes jumped off the 20th storey last week..

Bagism...somethin i want to share(so christian eh)..hahahah
The underlying concept of John and Yoko's "bagism" idea is interactivity
among people without prejudice....judged only by your words -- not by your looks, age, gender, ethnicity, etc....
which is what MY SPACE (copyrights to jan) is all abttttttttt......so quit fighting n make so much luuuurrrrvvveeee...

n karen i reali think that the GURU thing we were talkin abt would work.foolin the whiteman would be a walk in the park..i juz need
a GURU name...any suggestions???? Sai Izey...even im not gonna trust that...

gonna have a 3 hr lab soon..which would warrant another post..fer sure

peace

poetry

2004-09-24T13:44:00.000+08:00

We laugh like soft mad children...at least i do...its my way of tellin evryoneits gonna be allriite...hello hello..is anybody in there?? anyone at home??the ceremony is abt to begin...i woke up with a huuge smile this mornin...no reason..cant rem where it was...has the dream stopped??? there was music all ard me...her lips moved but i couldnt hear wat she was sayin..in the middleof a deep blue sea...i was comfortabli numb wit a pretty sweet one...

a strange old man appeared in a psychedelic dream..."hey young man..u wantgirls,pills,grass?? C'mon..i show u gd time..this place has evrythin..C'mon..I show u" he said in a soft frail voice ..the kind that disarms u...
another dream spoke of revenge on a democracy led by a liar...God brought abt floods topurge the world of sin n misdeed..leavin Noah n innocent animals...Ivan n Jeanne..slowli engulfinthe state which lied...Charley and Frances took 57...the movie will begin in five moments...a mindless voice shall announce...all those unseated will await the next show...a wayward son givin reason for sleepin wit the enemy..
denyin a simple man of entry...cos of relations...thoughts in time n out of season..he spoke of a wild world..the president who perpetuated a sick world.n we wonder who is guilty by association.so he stoodby the e side of the road...n leveled his thumb..in the calm calculus of reason..

death does make angels of all of us n gives us WINGS...but some grow em...n when evenin falls..she'll run to me...like whispered dreams..n we'll ride thewind to the sun..n sail away on ships of wonder to the line where gold meets blue..we'll catch the rainbow..yes..you and i...

peace

cleared head

2004-09-23T21:21:00.000+08:00

the 8 hours of sleep has done me a world of good...so has the haircut...thankfulli my lil nap in the afternoon made me realize that i shdnt be havin lunch with her...she isnt a fren nor is she my superheroine...i have enuff frens n superheroines in my life..n if i aint havin lunch wit em...i shdnt reali bother with those on the fringe...timely realization...alcohol has almost fucked up my whole day...abt 2 hrs remainin...will make full use of it...

n could we take it a lil izey on the tagboard pple....

the busride back home was filled wit random thoughts....i think too much..too much for my own gd...
comfort is faraway...peace i have...

gonna lose two of my budz to foreign lands over the weekend...not a gd feelin at all...oh well...i shd be pretty used to it by now...not another drink for a month...bleeeaaaaaaaaahhh....

peace

thegirlonthe nex seat

2004-09-23T11:57:00.000+08:00

who would have thot this day would have come....8 yrs ago i met this girl who kinda made me go weak in the knees for a bit...n now..8 yrs later...she is sittin right next to me...if i stretched out my hands..ill brush her hair...she is still of
course reali beautiful..n sadli still muslim..hahahah...its dem eyes she has...made me go gaga then..n i thank god for my current hungover state that e feelin of it all hasnt hit me totali...i still rem so vividly how i had to explain
romeo & juliet to her when we were watchin it.she was 15 n a beauty queen..i reali hope she is smarter now...she still looks faaaahiiiiiiinneee tho...helll yeeeeeeeeah...

im tryin my best not to check her out now...too obvious... so after a failed first relationship with her ...should i take her comin to ntu as a gifted second chance...n of course this time i wun make her feel stupid..
since i kinda realised that i lose too many women by doin that...ok glance Number 439 has gone unnoticed too..phewwww...
screw it laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....i juz wanna sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.........

met this other girl last nite at the liquid room...dun ask wat the hell i was doin there...goose tried to hook me up with her but brudder brudder thank god i knew better...any girl who starts doin thaibo on the dancefloor sure as hell wouldnt be
able to get the eagle on...so zero marks for groove..then we met again in the car...n she tells me that she can kill me
with a pen...a fuckin pen... started on this whole "element of surprise" martial art form she kinda developed...blah blah blah...i was bored for i knew wateva she was goin on abt was bullshit...i mean cmon..u tellin ME...how to kill someone..
she was different tho...looked the plain chinese girl..but she plays the trombone..which was quite funny...n she manages a martial arts centre...
manages ONLI...but she pissed me off real bad when she started goin on n on n on n on abt how the blacks are n were never oppressed...n then she starts
spoutin homer n expects me to decipher greek poetry when im almost half asleep n totali drunk...but i still managed to make my point that tupac was one
of the pioneers in conveying invoking thoughts thru his rappin..which i termed as poetry wit a beat n groove...which of course she refused to accept...wat a jibb...by then i had enuff nonsense for one nite...but..but...at least she wasnt a yes donkey...
so in a way..i was kinda happy to meet such a weirdo...

ok im goin back to sleep to get rid of this shitty headache.....need to be all jazzed up for my lunch date in an hour.reminscin the past is gonna be interestin...
hahha..uh huh...BINGO!!

peace

asian actors

2004-09-15T17:03:00.000+08:00

ive seen fire n i ve seen rain..seen sunny days which i thoughtwould nevr end...n loneli times when i could not find a friend...but......wat??? and as carole king would so sweetli say..."i feel theearth move under my feet...i feel the sky comin down..n my hearttrembles whenevr u ard".. whoever u are

had a lil impromptu party 2 nites ago at home..karen n my sister suddenligot inspired n started cookin..n the foood waaaasssssss awesommmeeee!!!!!!!ramesh raja n izey were stuffed wit an avalanche of lasgane n quiche(is dat how u spell it?)and my mum's "jokes" were quite funny actuali..

congratulations karen n kamzie...pass with distinction...ill give u all the money next time to open up a place n poison more pple...

bein a hedonist doesnt go down too well wit pple does it?..i mean..ive been reprimanded many times for the things i "feel" like doin..yunno ...for the soul education n feedin that i do...i got my life information upon the breeze dats blowing through my hairalso got a pocket full of rainbows..Oh and a sky to put them in so blueil let the music come and save me...I found a God dat I can pray to..Deep inside my soul...

went on a lil roadtrip wit my two favourite allies last nite...hangin out wit the malay boyswas hilarious...after fillin our tummies we went to watch Harold n KUmar..which by faris the funniest movie ive evr watched ..i guess..i could somehow relate to it..evry possible stereotype..evry possible reaction n comment resonated...

got me thinkin...one of the very few times two ASIAN protaganists in a very American movie...normali the asian plays the sidekick like in Van wilder or the martial arts exponent (jackie n JEt)but this time round Kal n john were the stars...will this spawn a new generation of movies??in which an asian plays the lead role n the caucasians and afroamericans support...
not in a comedy..but in a real drama...there are many asians in america who have made it big...n they have stories to tell...a very american story...complete wit high sch turbulence n the college dreams and the big investment bank job...n im pretty sure they do get left home alone,get kidnapped and can fight huuge snakes...if hollywood's cliched menu is anithin to go by...

but are there asian actors who could fill the deep shoes of say.. tom hanks,morgan freeman n matt damon...or if u dug a lil deeper would u find someone with norton's or spacey's ability??? a pakistani Vin Diesel??

a simple rebuttal would be dat white n black america would rather watch one of their own on the screens...but in this day n age..that cant hold much water..there IS room for variety...n now more than ever a discernin audience..who would pay gd money to appreciate good acting n a rivetin plot rather than juz pay to blindli support based on racial prejudices...aint talkin abt transformin holly to bolly...n none of that monsoon rain crap...but a chinese forrest gump or an indian Superman.(but then again some of us are dat alreadi..hahah)

well..im hopin the day comes when hollywood showcases an asian nabbing a serial killer...or fightin darth vader..if lady luck dances...mayb even fight the evil dark forces of MOunt Doon in the land of Mordor...an asian hobbit..which jan shd audition for...hahahah ...till then...ull always have me...to star in anythin hollywood can dish out...ill try...promise..

peace

eardrum rollin

2004-09-13T15:14:00.000+08:00

sometimes in the mornin when i wake up ..i shed a tear.i realize i have very wet eyes.so much so i have a perpetual glassy drugged out look despite bein an angel on the freaky side of the law...im hopin come the night time ill open the door n reappear in some other dimension....i promise to share..
not that i reali care...

had a lil session wit the boys last nite...somehow it became fright nite wit evryone sharin supernatural experiences...dad was a lil agitated that i was hangin out in jurong...somehow in some strange way he thot i was goin to get into
a fight settlin some other joker's business..which i was in no way doin since all i was doin was drinkin pokka coffee n talkin...strange...very..

Mercury rulin on this black virgo day...Earth in the 6th house...Spica burnin bright...after an hour on the first tutorial..i actuali understand...am i slowli seeing the light???

hello is anybody out there?? i seek a far off ship sailin towards the distant horizon...i wish i was one of those who wanted the normal things in life...cos the journey so far..has been hard n full of tumbles...but the gifts of frenship n rare experiences have made up for it..ive become comfortabli numb to normality...there is no routine in my life no matter how hard i try for such a practice...

my ear wax is prolli causin an extra beat for the music...eardrum rolling...

i was supposed to run this mornin..but as usual..all talk...actuali i reali wanted to...but i din get to sleep till liek 5..cos of some weird ass dreams...i wasnt asleep...i wasnt awake..lost in that realm in between...im sure some will relate to that..in that black hole...i will do it tnite...i promise...8 mths b4 i have to do dem medicals n stuff to seek elevation...its all for that moment...

realii..i rather dance with u than talk wit u...even if i could hear wat u say..i doubt my reply would be of any interest for u to hear...im talkin to my soul here...no drama..reali..my soul..the one that is inside me..n e one that leaves evrytime
i close my eyes to wander wonderland...

how many of u beleive that whoever u alreadi noe.. u alreadi knew...its a far off thought...metaphysical..that whoever ive come into contact with i was alreadi somehow related to in a past life...crossin racial and geographical boundaries...
izzu could have been my uncle...my sister could have been my mother...my mother could have been my daughter..n my dad could have
been my brother...karen might have been my teacher...n suchi could have been my classmate....jess n zee could have been the kids in the playground i used to play catchin with....jan could have been my grandmother...hahahahahahhahaha....
mayb lex was my dad...n padma lakshmi my mum...hahahahaha...riiiiiiiiiiite...oh well...interestin to ponder abt..i need to learn to do that past life regression thing...i reali think i need to noe....a dire need...i see horses,castles,drawbridges and sprawlin gardens on some nights...and sandy beaches,hammocks,havana type houses n lil boats on others...how???

izzu's contribution "i fuck small boys"...n u reali wonder why i told all of u malaysians are strange....
(raja is sheepishli grinning right next to me..downin cough syrup..NEXT STOP:PAP kindergarten)sorri suchi...

aku hantu

peace

homosexual

2004-09-11T14:59:00.000+08:00

aiight nuff abt padz...her time is up...flava of the day..dats abt it...NEXXXXTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!........

there is juz somethin wrong wit bein homosexual...not homosexual behaviour but the icky wicky act of it...ie..takin it up e bummy..nothin wrong in bein gay...we shdnt alienate em yeh...i mean..u could play tennis wit a gay person..totali fine..but after the game ull want to go for a beer while he would want to have some iced dick...hahahh..dats when its "see ya later"..Ladies love gay pple.they are hip to it..they love hangin out wit em..ladies say "gay men are the best frens to have..they dun want anithin frm u..u dun want anithin frm em..u can juz hang out n have fun n talk n talk n talk.."..oh well...onli women say dat soo its bullshit...but the scary thing abt homosexuality is the whole AIDS thing...as featured on Oprah...AIds is scary cos it kills motherfuckers...

In the old days..venereal disease was simple...in the old days u got gonorrhea.ur dick hurt. go get a shot n clear it right up...then they came out wit herpes..u keep that shit forever like luggage...n now they have AIDS..which juz kills motherfuckers....So wats next??? u put ur dick in n it juz explodes??????????booooooooooom....

all these STDs scare the shit outta me....cos these are the fuck yrs for me....im in my sexual prime...these are the yrsto fuck....this is when u do ur best fuck...n u learn ur body...u get ur shoulders in on the fuck n all..not like 18 yr olds..who dun noe how to fuck yet..u hit 22...u start movin n all dat shit..makin faces n all...u dun do dat when u r 18...ull juz have a damn shocked look on ur face..ull be surprised n shocked dat u r actualli fuckin..hahahahh

u juz need to be in showbusiness to fuck like crazy....i mean if mick jagger fuckin..im fuckin evrybody...but i cant understand how some dudes could fuck evrythin that moves...if they came to my house..my fish would stop swimmin...MIck Jagger...ugly mother fucker..he has some huuugue ass lips...he got black pple tellin him he got huuuge lips...n he's fuckinmichael jackson....gd lookin chap...juz not the manliest person ard...u juz gotta sing..n u gonna fuck...like craaaaaaaaaazzzzeeeeeeeeeee

so i dun n cant sing...yeah..sad eh....

raining like crazy at the moment..i like dem rainy days...spendin some time tryin to wash away...hopin the sun doesnt come out n shine again...rain on me..rain on me....

the boys want to club tnite....twiddling my thumbs...been a while...altho i think hangin out at dave's new place would be a more lepak n relakin choice...hangin out wit two childhood bruvs...eat ice cream, debate religion & cerebrate new groud breakin phenomenon among mortals...

aiiight...aku hantu...

peace

padma lakshmi

2004-09-09T13:10:00.000+08:00

since we are on the topic i might as well feed the ignorant....the one indian female who could very well become the cleopatra of the east...An enchantress..Venus personified for any indian male who appreciates some L'oreal and Kipling in a tantalizing mix wit a lil saffron sprinkled juz to keep the flava...hahahah

Padma Lakshmi...nothin too glam abt the name eh...but brudder brudder....juz shift ur eyes below..n im pretty sureull like wat u see...look wat the hottest indian female in da world ended up with...wassup wif dat siol....suchi is prolli rite..muz be e benjamins...but she did say she likes smart men...hmm..any "get smart in 21 days" book ard???which is juz damn saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.....

not onli is she beautiful..she can speak 5 languages...has a BA in theatre...she can fuckin cook too...slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.....but somehow...i wouldnt la...she doesnt have anithin to do with music n she is prolli plastic...which is an immediate failure...hahaha...damn tough decision to make.how do u say no to a 36-23-35??..givin up padz cos she got no rhythm...but i gotta keep it real..hahahah..fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck it laaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!....if u aint got beat in ur steps u aint movin anywhere...

aniwaaaaaaaaaaae.....strange how competition has an effect on all of us...ok most of us...It has been proven that humans perform better under competitive enviroments...pretty common sensical..but wats the scienceof it??? does that reali mean that u set ur own limit and competition tests and pushes that limit?? In 1897 this psychologist Triplett(weird ass name) conducted a simple experiment..he measured how long a person took to complete130 winds on a fishin-rod reel when carryin out e task alone n comparin it wit e performance of e person when competing against another...needless to say..the effect of competition improved performance...

how many of u agree with this??

"Give me a dozen healthy infants,well formed, and my own specified world to bring em up in n ill guarantee to take anyone at random and train him to become any type of specialist i might select - doctor,lawyer,artist,merchant-chief and,yeseven beggar and thief,regardless of his talents,penchants,tendencies,abilities,vocation and race of his ancestors..."

An example of extreme environmentalism methinks...- the belief that human behaviour is totali learned frm the enviromentin which the person is reared.This somehow is directli opposed to nativism, the belief dat a person's potential is biologicalifixed at birth which would mean that personality n intelligence as being determined by genetic factors...Freudian theory was basicali nativistic by e way...

this whole nature/nurture controvesy has been on for the longest time...but it juz hit me after readin abt the yellow ribbonproject...evryone shd b given a second chance..but would u let him into ur house to fix ur tap let alone marry him...u shd...cos we all make mistakes n most of us learn frm it...No one is born a criminal..which is y i dun agree wit environmentalismto a varyin extent based on the subject matter...hahahah...

DID YOU NOE??
that 2 houseflies if left alone could multiply and become 30000 flies in 6 months....talk abt some
major fuckin...(courtesy of Wild Discovery)

n karen..it aint a "mama" thing to want ur lady to cook.aint an expectation..it juz would be nice..altho imitatin jamie oliver aint all dat difficult too...

I need a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets
That know how to cook cause a man like to eat
Spaghetti, shrimp and steak and I'll adore you
I'll treat you like milk, I'll do nothing but spoil you---- LiL Flip feat. Lea

aiiiiiiight back to electrical power generation...bouncin up n down my chair in ecstacy...wish i could pop some.

im ghost

peace

lennon

2004-09-05T22:27:00.000+08:00

many things been happenin in the world past few days...
a great man freed...kids helplessly killed...a man murdered rite in my neighbourhood...
makes u reali think how much value is attached to a life...
if lennon was still alive he would strum n say...

i dun expect u to understand...dat e kingdom of heaven is in ur hands..i dun expect u to wake from ur dream...Too late for cryin' now it seems...All e little plans and schemes..Nothing but a bunch of dreams..All they really needed to do...Was maybe some love

i still find it hard to understand how someone can kill someone else...how does one do it??? it takes so much to even punch someone in the face...n even more to continue hittin him when he starts to bleed...but how does one kill someone??? dayyyyeeeeeemm....

oh well...guess ther are lotsa things ard that arent exactli logical...like why issit a blowjob when there is onli suckin involved...???hahaha

Are we all creatures of habit???
have u ever stopped to consider how much we do out of habit?..there r e simple things, such as caring for ourselves,
our families, our homes, n our jobs...Yet there r deeper things that r borne of our upbringing n our experiences.
So much communication is out of the "programmed response" mode....what has worked for us in the past, we continue to use
out of habit even if it doesn't work in every situation, or in some cases doesn't work at all any more.....we often don't even realize we r doing this.
Someone who has been somewhat distant and uncommunicative in the past begins communicating, and we continue to respond as if they aren't there.
Certain words or situations stir up emotions from the past and we react to some long ago event as if it were recurring.
Or, we simply discovered some formula that seemed to work and repeat it in the hope that it will continue to have the same affect on everyone we try it on.

guess we r huh...

still holdin on.....twilight fades...not showin...crashin on a purple tree...thru blisterd avalon
it meant the world to hold a bruising faith..it's just a matter of creme faiche

2 tests this week...somehow someway gotta pass em...then its the semester break..riiite..
thats juz the biiiig neon sign spellin EXAM blinkin...i simpli hate exams...

tried unspringin a spring on fridae...did it...very the proud of myself..

take it real izey...its reali too short

peace

stream of consciousness

2004-09-03T11:04:00.000+08:00

does it matter? will it matter?? always been askin myself these qns...one day i will have to tell...shd i? shd i not?? i want to get it back..but the sun in my eyes speak the truth that wat was once lost is lost forever and onli
understanding can fill the void that is left behind...

shiiiiitezz..batt low..hate it when that happens...nooo more musique...take away my food but dun take away my moooosiq...pretty excited abt Management Class later...tis the onli class in the whole of uni that i actuali njoy goin to cos its
very open n has almost zero logic...wonderland for me...

took a break frm evrythin yest.refused to go to sch...juz lazed ard at home..realized that i havent bummed for more than 6 hrs for like 2 weeks...couldnt take it...so i juz bummed n bummed...n added a dinosaur frm Al Ameen to that also...
was nice hangin wit my old skool gang..goose n mookz...very the slaaaaaaaack siol

i can tell u wat i like..u can tell me wat u like...i aint playin wit ur mind.. juz wanna spend time..nah uh huh..u dun have to be my naughty girl..hahahahahha

formali declared that Class 95's mornin show is da best ard now...its juz reeeeeeeeeal dumb ....n real funny...

Ladies n gentlemen..this is a dizzy izey production...

oh by the way...i apologize if pple get pissed off wit my "stream of consciousness" kinda writing...u noe wat..i dun apologize...i take it fuckin back...dunlike it..well take a second look n get more pissed off...n here take a look at my finger while u r at it...naaah..kiiiddddddddddddddddiiiiiiiiiiiiin..all peace peace peace
peace off

waiting for izzu to pass me a carton of the holy smokes...hahah..been smokeless since wed ya'll....

i smiled at a couple of pple tdae on da way to sch....took a day off frm my usual sii beh tao self...which karen n suchi are so used to...
such an endearin tao fucker i am rite karen??? hahahahah

drumdrum drum drum drum drum...sri n chappi left for UK yest..was quite sad..wun see em for a yr at least...kinda scary
how fast things are goin these days....its like evrythin is movin at incredulous speed....the other day at the gym
i told khaled that when i grow up i want to have a jeep..hahah can u beleive dat.."When i grow up.."..khaled was on da floor laughin
his head off...i dunno y..a lil part of me still feels like a kid...n it does show sometimes...but it aint bad..i dun want that lil kid side of me to evr leave me...its wat which makes me who i am...those crazy eccentric moments onli my
sister gets to see...hahahahah

shd i go to the winebar tnite or not?? im makin too many appearances there...might juz be labelled a poser..oh no..yikes....think ill juz stay at home yeh...

neways..suchi's phone call has disrupted my stream of consciousness..

peace

jimi

2004-08-30T15:22:00.000+08:00

in the stinkin lab now wit 20 chinkychonks and a deadringer for saddam as my prof...do i reali need to
shout out that im a computer USER n not a computer PROGRAMMER...im so lost now that im hidin so dat the
lecturer wun come and stare at me typin this instead of writin some javascriptishitttyshitish...tak boleh la
brudder..im a free wheelin hippie more comfy wit playin a guitar wif my tongue compared to programmin a damn computer..
ok i reali cant do the tongue thing...to the guitar that is..hahahah..its still pretty acrobatic in other
arenas..ahem ahem.

very busy weekend..first time in a relativeli long time ive been out evry single nite n surprise surprise..
no one said anithin abt it at home...does this mean that ive been released??? hmmm....shall toe the line a lil...
its the onli way i noe how to live..treadin the fine lines...livin on life's high wire..but when i fuckin
fall..daaaayyyeemmmm...its always painful as hell...

winebar on fridae was quiet..had to endure the poser population for a gd hour b4 my college classmates arrived...
then it was quite fun playin our usual drinkin games which left me reelin for a bit..but the scene a month
ago kinda kept me grounded..the wiiiiiimen were faaaaaaaahiiiiiiiiiiiineeee.....left right...cant seem to knock the hustle..
ladies frm the past..ladies frm rusty fantasies..they were all there..but i was in check..hahah..
too many eyes...divide that by 2 to get the number of mouths n dayeeemm..u still wouldnt want to do shit...but still

Uh huh, i talk jewels and spit diamonds, all fly
like a raven, when I'm rhymin wit remarkable timin
Caviar and silk dreams, my voice is linen
Spittin venom up in the minds of young women
Mink thoughts to think thoughts type similar
Might you remember, my style is col-l-l-ld like izey December

Womad on Sat was fun...innocent fun..was sober as the Mufti...met tonnes of pple...but my happiest
moment was stonin n chillin rite next to the talvin singh set..no dancin..juz relaaaaak..n driftin in my
head...izey n izzu trackin' smoke like lalala

i need to go for rehab...or some class..to learn to party without alcohol..i see pple doin it..n i juz
cant seem to get the hang of it..even chantin "im wasted im wasted im wasted" din help...damn slaaaaaaaack

met a couple of my 2 live crew at al ameen last nite to discuss abt the impendin quarter life crisis...
lots to talk abt that...not gd to do it now..haha saddam is lookin at me weirdli since im the onli
one typin away while the rest are listenin to him...

ok time to find somethin else to do...

peace...

men

2004-08-26T13:40:00.000+08:00

If u mad I'm on top, then wish me gone...If u mad I'm on the road, then wish me home And if u mad that I'm right, punk wish me wrong..But after ur three wishes - BLOW IT OUT YA ASS
the evil eye has set its gaze on the trip hoppin space cowboy...i can feel it watchin my evry move behind thecover of clouds...the lord of mercy is my onli hope...

It's time to saddle up the heavens cause I'm the vaquero del espacio
I eat dinner with Jews but don't talk to strangers..now how strange is dat....

im kinda sick of guys behavin like chicks these days...the divide is gettin so thin last nite's dinner is threatenin to resurface...The consequences of almost 50 years of ardent feminism have been devastating: a society in bewilderment about gender roles, the rise of a class of ball-busting bitches whose battle cry is, "We don't need men," trumped-up charges of "date rape" and "sexual harassment," angry women blaming men for all their problems ...in short, an overall erosion of male confidence.

As society becomes more and more feminized, as more and more young men are being raised by single mothers who don't have a clue about the male sex drive, but who teach their sons to surrender their natural masculinity and pander to women, today's man is forced to apologize for -- and feel shame about -- his inherent male sexualitywats up with that...???
This abrogation of sexual confidence has resulted in a world full of wusses and doormats, men who cater to women and willingly hand over all their male power in exchange for a few crumbs of approval or sexual "favors."

The modern man walks around on eggshells, afraid of saying the "wrong thing," scared of showing his natural sexual interest to a woman, scared of being scorned, humiliated, or even fired...scared of his own true self.n by doin this he puts his alpha male counterparton such a slack pedestal that he is seen as the exception rather than the norm...yeah..given u gotta be nice to the ladies..but thereis no need to be all fuckin stepovery...this aint sour grapes but im juz plain sick of the nice guys who make me look likeim the devil incarnate...when in true fact i noe that all these dickheads are tryin to get into some hotpants in some other not so hot way...

Clearly this essential point is lost on the female gender because women just don't have a clue what it is to be truly sexual -- a woman's sex drive can't even begin to compare with a man's. Yet modern feminism still blindly strives to feminize men into submissive she-males.
Nature intended men to be strong, assertive, bold, sexual -- this is why testosterone surges through their bloodstreams. This is a man's right...his heritage...as a member of the male gender.

And the truth is, despite what women say and how much they scream,scratch the surface and you'll find that deep down they don't really want a man to act like a woman any more than a guy wants a chick to be masculine.

im all up for equality...said it before n ill say it again...but i think its high time instead of letting women snip pruning shears at mens' crotches,for men to stop apologizing for being male, to celebrate their inherently sexual natures, and to reclaim their sexual confidence. n puttin a name as common as playa to it..aint gonna change nothin...

aint got an issue wit makin it up wit love...but i aint gonna sit down n put on some make up...
hahahahha....

did i sound too serious...hahahah i laugh at myself whenevr i try to sound serious...no wonder my sister wonders how anyone takes me seriousli...tooo slaaaaaaaaaack

peace

space

2004-08-25T12:50:00.000+08:00

got myself dem Womad tickets yest...the real SISTIC lady at Lot 1 was a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeal faaahhhiiiiiiiinnneeee meeeenaaa...n boy was she helpful ..in wat way i reali dunno..

was watchin this show on TV last nite and it kinda made me ponder wonder...wat would it be like to wake up one daywit zero recollection of the past...memory zapped till nullified...would i be wonderin why i have 3 guitars in my room...pickin one upn not bein able to play anithin...n wat if izzu calls n im like "who the fuck are u"....n the scariest part..not bein able to recognise my family...daaaaaaaaaaayyyeeeeeeeeem....would i rem how to light a ciggie...would i rem who my close frens are..of coursei wun be able to...24 yrs of my life gone pooooofffffffff......as much as it would be fuckin interesting to start all over again...i dun think i would want to...unless of course im in a totali remote island along the pacific ring of fire battlin impending volcanic activity...ahhh then..itll be awesome...second birth of sorts..where i was originalli supposed to be born...hahah oh well...

always wondered y pple say that the fire alarm has gone off...when in true fact it is on...

my dad dissed me abt my weak handshake last nite...made me laugh tho...he did the whole handshake greeting wit me...yunno..thewerks...was quite hilarious...but i think his cap turned backwards still takes the cake...
space has always intrigued me....back in the day i always wanted to get absoluteli stoned outta my mind in space...can u even fathom bein drifty in e head..n drifting in space at the same time..zero gravity.nothin hold u down.a pretty manifestation of wat is spawnin in urhead...i hope i get to do it one day..somehow someway..

my brain mechanics are cryin out for fuel....been starved on dem nutrients...soul food....gimme gimme...

peace

kenna

2004-08-23T21:40:00.000+08:00

READ READ READ!!!!!!

aiiight folks..

guess i kenna left right centre alreadi.it was hard keepin my mouth shut till i got all the negatives frm almost evryone save for jan...
i juz wanted to find out how pple would react to somethin slaaack said by me but originalli done by a white man...Malcolm X did the same once so i was juz givin it a shot...but well done all of u...
shoot when anyone is outta line...n karen...dissapointment dissapointment..thot u knew better..tsktsk..hahahha..relaaaaaak laaaa

oh the white guy;s page...

http://graysonkilmer.blogspot.com/2004_01_01_graysonkilmer_archive.html

vegetarinsm

2004-08-23T11:34:00.000+08:00

being a vegetarian to save animals is probably the most retarded thing I've ever heard of.
Even vegetarian pizza has cheese on it and cheese comes from... you guessed it, CATTLE!

What I mean to say is that if u are going to become a vegetarian to save animals, u have to become a vegan as well for it to make any sense. It's a package deal. Being only vegetarian is like saying that u will only condone the mistreatment of animals in CERTAIN forms....

"Raising them in inhumane living conditions to constantly
milk them against their will is fine, but no putting them unconcious and using them for meat!". To me, all animals in captivity are going to die and arn't going to live a free life. Who cares if old cattle that used to be used for
milk are slaughtered for meat?

Say that vegetarianism conquered the world (riiiiiiiite) and there was no reason to kill the milking cows when they get old and they would were let free: the best results you would get would be that instead of being knocked unconcious
and quickly sliced by knives and machines, the cattle now get to be tracked down and slowly ripped apart by wolves or any of the other
dozens of predators of cattle. All animals are killed during a process called 'nature'. The only thing could be viewed as a terrible crime
against animals would be the TREATMENT of the animals that are ALIVE, which would include milking cows.

That's why it's ridiculous to be vegetarian and not be vegan...
Not to say that being vegan isn't stupid in itself. To not give into the laws of the food chain is just plain dumb n so i think. Species will kill other species over and over again
all over the world and there is nothing anybody can do to stop that. Even if you somehow COULD stop all species from eating each other, half of those species would probably
die right away from starvation. But the reality is that it IS impossible to stop the food chain cycle. It would be very, very hard to stop even yourself
(being the most hardcore gangsterli vegan in the world) from causing the indirect harm to any animal. "Hey I'm a vegetarian, I'll go to McDonalds with you, but I'm only having fries." OOPS! Fries are
are dipped into hot oil that contains beef broth... "Hey I'm a vegan, I'll have some grape gummi bears, maybe some Jaffa fruit juice to wash them down" OOPS! Many dyes and flavors come from animals (in the KILLED form),
such as the red dye (carmine) that comes from the female Dactlyopius insect of the Canary Islands (which takes 70,000 insects to make one pound of carmine dye). Purple dye can be extracted from certain types of snails.
My message: Give the fuck up and eat an animal. You arn't doing anybody (including the animals) any good parading around with your vegetarian holliness. If cows and chickens were smarter they'd shake their heads at you. I bet if cows
were smarter they'd realize that they taste really good and should sacrifice themselves for the good of the world. Afterall, meat is martyr.
n for the womenkind..i reali wonder wat are inside ur cosmetics n soap n watnots...

if you really want to make a difference/buy a herd and then go set them free/instead you just eat carrots and do absolutely nothing"

so u got my point....if u wanna do it..go all the way...tailoring how far u will go based on how far u can go is not right when
u outlandishly holier-than-thouli make a point abt it...

i respect those who practice wat they preach...but i will shoot those who live in loopholes...

n somehow someway..i dun reali agree that humans can take care of themselves...juz go to www.mcds.gov.sg and looks wats
happenin right at ur backyard....

the onli reason i dun say anithin abt u women bein vegetarian for ur own self-tailored cause is because u pple dun impose on anyone like some looney protestan...so carry on wit wateva u beleive in...for i am one who beleives ....that we are all entitled to our own thots and that there
is celebration in diversity

peace

job n god

2004-08-21T13:56:00.000+08:00

woke up to the warm voice of my daddy tdae...which was a relief...since i couldnt sleep the whole nite wonderingwhether he was safe..n the weird dreams i was havin werent helpin much...juz a day ago the rope next to my dad's rope ladder snapped while he was climbing on to the ship...his 45kg toolbag juz vanished into the deep blue sea...kinda missed him by a whisker..and as he recounted the incident to me..fear kinda gripped...that i could have lost my dad...the onli person in this worldwhom i listen to n respect...made me kinda think the whole nite...that as much as i say im a man and dat ive done it all n seen it all..it was still difficult to swallow that there will come a day when i will have to fill those very same shoes my dad wears now...havin a family dependant on me.n makin sure that i provide for their evry need...now dats a responsibility n a half...but i guess im slowli learnin..that life isnt all abt the alcohol,the clubs,dem 'hoes and the bright lights..learnin to be responsible is so much tuffer than learnin to light a sembuka in ur mouth...

roy kinda reinforced that point last nite durin our 2 hr conversation...he kinda made sense...wateva ive been doin ive deemed as the majority's activities..which was so wrong...there are alot more things to do...n alot more paths to cross n roads to travel..."Clubbin once in a while n havin a coupla drinks once in a while is allrite..but it shdnt dictate our evry day activities and become a lifestyle..which was n is the current situation..." he said...which was true.but of course he duly proceeded to Zouk after sayin that..hahah..frankli..me n the crew ..we've been together for say 7 yrs...n we probabli have watched like 7 movies together in those 7 yrs...but visited 70 clubs...now when i look at it...there has been no variety...oh well..im glad i kinda learnt it earli...i hope it stays..knowin me..at the drop of a hat ill go back to that lifestyle..but for now...im very happy...happy in livin the gd n peaceful life...

In the Bible,when his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens and asked God "Why god? Why me? If you are the almighty n all powerful..why dun u take away pain n suffering since it is killin the very beings u created"...to which God replied..."If i do...who will talk to me??"im far from bein atheist...its somethin that i ask God evryday...to take away the sufferin in the world..n make it a peacefuln happy place for evryone...but i still dunno y he isnt respondin..mayb he juz wants to get rid of all dem nasty pple...the second cominof the flood..will i be the next Noah??? hahahah..no ah?? hahah...slaaaaaaaaaaaaack....

i once heard that sex is a more beautiful thing between 2 pple...but i somehow think that between 5 its's fantastic..heh.sick n tired tired tired of pple acting all 5 n tellin me that "evryone hates me"....how can evryone hate u when u havent met evryone yet..

waiting for the bus todae n i saw this sikh man on a bike..compared to the helmet..wat kinda protection does the turban provide???it wouldnt at all in fact goin by the laws of mechanics...does the govt discount the lives of sikh motorists so easily...methinks that there shd b helmets that are shaped ard the turban...how cool would dat be??? damn i would wear one n i would getkaren one juz for kicks...hahahahahahahahhaha..n of course the finger for "swearin off the alcohol"..i told u ..u wun last a week..n boy was i right....im the all knowing..auuummmmm

it's rashidah's bdae tdae...dunno how im gonna break my sentence n go for the dinner thingie...she juz called n told me togo back to bein my old self n juz fuck it n get the hell out n come..oh well..we'll see how things werk out later...1 guy 7 ladies ..shd be a nice enuff statistic to tempt...seeee how laaaaaaaaaa....i luv dat line...altho i still dun understand the grammar of it all...

some pple live for the fortune..some live for the fame..some for the power..some juz live to play the game...some pple thingthat the physical things define how we live...

peace

mom

2004-08-18T11:20:00.000+08:00

its another day in paradise...my everchanging view of the Nanyang stupefies me sometimes..on one hand i cant wait to get out
n on the other i see this place as an escape frm the real world n on the other..oh sorri..onli two..i always think i have more..
..a nevrland of sorts...minus the leprechauns n gnomes...im not rulin out dwarfs..lots ard..

where there are gd pple wit gd hearts..an almost negligible poseur population...and the discretion to do watever u want(YES..u dun even
have to go for tutorials)..i noe im gonna miss this place no matter how much i diss it...which makes me think...somehow
someway..the more i diss somethin the more i seem to like it..i used to tell an ex gf that i onli bother to speak abt or slam
stuff dat i care abt...wat dat doesnt bother me...pple or issues..i simpli discount...yes..no slammin AT ALL...cos then ill juz be
prostituting my seconds...n my time is reali recherche..riiiiiiiiiiiiite....

Evil Twinster Karen got me the most siiii beeeehhh awesome CD...now i can listen to the Kings of Convenience alll day looonnnggg...
they are simpli the most lepak grp next to the pple at Del Mar despite the difference in genres...thannkkewwww karen karebear...
things at home are lookin a lil better...parents are lettin up easy on me...n boyyy..it feeeeeeeelsss goooooooooooood...feeeeeeeeelsss
niiice like suuggaaarrr n spiiice...so nice so nice..hahah (a lil James Brown aint gonna kill aiiight)

havent met the boys in a while cos of dem 'cuffs...but i guess theyll be allrite...its time i took a lil time off to get
my life blazing...the temptation to bounce back to the chronic is gettin overwhelming...but i shall not succumb..NO NO NO...
Adversity affects the man of character my old man once said...

watched the village yest...yes yes..very overdue..i have so many things to say abt it..but i shant..cos i like to discuss it live n loud..
which by the way is my honey way of discourse...but one thing's for sure..that kinda story tellin could onli be done by
an indian..hahhah..dats followin the logic of superman bein indian frm Goodness Gracious Me

let me briefli (no pun) softli lightli touch(hahaha) the topic of makeout music...back in the day when i was spinnin at Neo's there was a certain
time of the night on Wednesdays when i used to showcase my list of MOM(im sure u could figure dat out)...n then..it werked..
i could see 3 girls devourin one guy...2 girls goin all sugar on each other...but bein out of the scene for so long..i kinda thought
i lost my touch in choosin the highs n lows of makin dem juices flow...which is why..ive been listin a couple of stuff that goin onli by past experience
shd do the job...yes when i do release it...all u ladies on my list will get to noe of it...nah uh huh...ill juz send it over...hahahahhaha...
uh huh i like dat..juz like dat...dun take that back... brown sugar...

gonna get tickets for WoMad tdae..wit a few boys frm the green movement...hopin to get a spliff or two for that nite..its the onli
way to njoy music methinks.not for myself tho..n to those who trust yunno wat im talkin abt...its all abt livin the life like its golden...

its almost gonna be 3 weeks soon..that ive led the gd life...gratifyin n chaste in the eyes of the boy who is at home b4 10 and goes to sch
evryday...almost 20 mornings i have woken up without a blasting headache n a torrid hangover..nevr happened b4...n in a certain
freaky intangible way...it feeeels quite gd...now would have thot i would say dat...

oh well...i guess its abt time izey got back to werk...the professor has very high expectations of Lex n me..cant let the first
person in sch who actuali beleives in us down can we...werk werk werk werk...

im ghost (copyright my dear) :)

peace

road to freedom

2004-08-12T12:00:00.000+08:00

kinda struck a chord.....my guitar has been the centre of my attention these past few days...
im preparin for my imaginary concert...haha..the one which i will be recordin LIVE ..in a few weeks...so dat my many fans in NevrLand can watch me Live n Unplugged...its a dream...always been...to be a rockstar or juz a lepak musician on the coast of some cuban village...kinda buena vista social clubbish....yunno..the werks...sittin down on a worn sofa in the balcony of a little sad excuse for a house...wit a coupla trees for shade...my guitar , ciggie n a mug of coffee....soakin in the rhumba beats n the chilled rhythm of the caribbean....a joint bein pureli optional but most welcome..hahahah..writing a song abt livin freely...free fallin brain breakdancin...

Tell me which road are u travelling , which road are you travelling on...Tell me who will u turn to when the light has gone. i hear somebody calling to me... with so many roads to travel...there's just one that can set you free..

in my life i have been blessed..in my life i have been cursed...i have lived the best of times..i have suffered the worst... do you know which road you're travelling??...do you know where you want to be?......with so many roads to travel.............

had a long talk wit ashley last nite...been quite a while since i talked to her for so long...i guess it was juz civil that we talked for more than we normali do since she was leavin...leavin wit the promise that one day we'll meet at some airport...that is if i do realize my dream...she'll be in her
Emirates outfit n ill be in some thing..i hope...hahah...but her parting words din allow much sleep after that...made me smile but din allow the eyes to shut for awhile...oh well..they come n they go....even if i wanted otherwise....my feet wouldnt take too kindli to any form of dem chains...
frankli my fren im juz not dat kinda guy at the moment...i can be...but i dun want to....why?? i reali dunnooooooooooo.....oh well...time for classs...

peace

communism

2004-08-10T12:05:00.000+08:00

Is communism the answer to world peace??? The failure of democracy in the world's biggest democratic fallacy has made me kinda open to the commie way of life.The main problem Communists face is a Capitalist world.It is a social,political transformationand indeed a transformation of man him self thru the transformation of his social enviroment...

From my point of view as uneconomic as it sounds becomin a commie is my onli clear path to utopia.Communists aim notonly to end socio-economic injustice n oppression but also to alter social relations claiming Capitalism (also spelt as GREED)which i feel has corrupted mankind a lil close to bein beyond redemption.

Anti-Communist critics have demonized Communism to the general public methinks.The fact remains that communism cannot be accomplishedwithout popular support,Worldwide Support.Pretty elementary to understand that such a change must be on a worldwide scaleor not at all (fuckin texans)...even because Communists would have no less..one can nto procalim slavery has ended whilst thereremains but a single slave i say...

truth be told its nevr gonna happen...the world will nevr change as a whole entity and become commie.the onli way i think is to aleviate the suffering of those who are most unfortunate.use the philanthropic and tax free donations promoted bycapitalism to do so..that way the capitalists pay for doin wat's right.i still dun understand how they could spend close to a millionbucks on the nation's bdae..give some of that money to the poor mon...i mean...as the nation celebrates im pretty darn surethere are at least 10 kids who are going hungry...fuckin dipshits
reading weird books have kinda swayed my thinkin'..haha...but reality bites that im majoring in engineerin' n thus theEnergy power systems book is starin at me n beggin me to read it..which i will..in time in time...

this weekend was kinda gd...play footie n got laid..hahah..riiiiiiiiiiite...laid to rest on my bed cos i was so fuckin tired that is..but gd nonetheless...

food for thought...

are marbles realli made frm marble?

if some kid acted in a R(a) movie..will he be allowed to watch it??

and my biggest doubt..if hot air rises shdnt hell be fuckin cold n heaven damn hot???

oh well...

time to get down n do dem tutorial
not doin so might juz call for a burial
pickin up my pilot n start pimp writin'
leavin u wit juz a lil bit of izey stylin'

peace

the top line

2004-08-06T12:02:00.000+08:00

so i was lookin at my writing paper..lookin real hard...n i was wonderin abt the
benefit of the top line...i mean no one hardly writes on it...its sporadic
purpose is sooo marginalized(excuse the pun) compared to the rest of the
lines...

need to go n watch the mike moore film...dun think most singaporeans will actuali understand that
kinda storytellin goin by the lukewarm reception bowlin for columbine got...wat if someone made a movie
abt singapore's political boo boos...n the somewhat nepotistic way the govt is shaped..hmmmmmmm

tdae's tutorial looks kinda do-able...database systems..im kinda
designin one for a hospital...if i had my way my hospital would be the coolest
one in the world...i reali dunno y the walls of hospitals are always
sooo bleah...so doughy coloured.mayb cos lots of chinese were involved in the design process.i mean evryone who is there is alreadi
feelin like crap n yucky surroundings are juz gonna make it worse..
i understand the need for green walls in the op theatre but the rest of
the hospital shd be rainbowish n full of life; kinda patch adamish..n there shd be lots of it
in a place where its mostli decided whether u live or die...

in fact if i had my way .... alotta things would be different...
ive always wondered why they dun have whiskey,vodka or wine in a can..like beer..
yunno..much more convenient than a huuuge bottle..(ok my apologies i reali shdnt
be touchin on this subject hahahaha)

couldnt get to sleep easy last nite.eyes wide open.a fortunate son of a fortunate son
livin large of the wrong side of town...
feet were achin like crazy frm football..
dem SAF shoes are damn slaaaaaaaack...they are comin apart frm one game of
footie...damn slaaaaaack...so as i lay awake..i was ponderin' wonderin'...do fish
get thirsty??? so if they do then all they have to do is open their mouth yeh??
but wat if its salt water??
and as i was on the topic of fish...got reminded of the sweet n sour fish
my mum cooked..how can somethin be sweet n sour at the same time???

soooo many questions..no answers..

the metaphysical realm has always appealed...but its soo hard to grasp..
cos there is a severe lack of guidance n help ard..i mean no self-help bk
is gonna teach u the shiznitz...i need to find an old wise man..the kind
wit the long beard n the messy hair..."sit down n listen my gd son" he'll say...
well if anyone comes across such a person pls do give me his number..oh wait..
thats too techy...ask him to send me a telepathic signal...dats juz sooo
waaaay coooooooooooool duuuuuuuuuuuuude.....

one time in band camp....i nevr went to band camp u dick...which kinda nut goes
to band camp...which reminds me of wat izzu n me saw last nite..there
were 2 grps of pple inside the squash courts sittin in a circle
n comin up wit strange hand signals..tucked in tshirts n nipple high pants..the werks la..
but in those faces i saw true happiness..the kind dat isnt adulterated by
the sins most of us commit...n the best part we dun see anithin wrong in doin so...
i speak for myself..n i hope i get to shut up abt it one day...these moments of mournin for
an innocence lost that wants to find its way back home some way...

if i could say a thousand words juz to let you noe..
that all i wanted to do was to learn n grow..
wat would they be; to resonate n make u see
truth is a whisper sometimes that onli few hear
juz cos you nevr knew doesnt make u absent frm my heart my dear
be told that i nevr slayed another mother's son
for always i will be led by ur hands n be your older one..

-izey

dedicated to my darlin' oldies at home..

peace...

juz on of those

2004-08-05T15:09:00.000+08:00

been some time since i kinda sorta a lil bitta said somethin...been gettin used to the routine that im welcoming wit open arms....gettin sch b4 10 n sittin down in the library n actuali doin werk...its soooo much easier wit gd company ard...lex,su ramesh n izzu..n karen makin her cameo appearancesonce in a while when she decides to pop over to the Nanyang frm Pulau NIE...

this week of confinement n gd livin isnt so bad after all...juz to let all of u noe..im actuali doinfine n not dyin in the hands of my very understandin parents...which made me think alot...did i reali need to hide anythin in the first place????or are they so cool abt it onli cos ive reached a certain point in my life that onli a billy bombersproportion mistake can fuck up....oh well..as long as its all gd..i aint complainin.......

harry called me last nite...kinda got scolded for acceptin the punishment my folks dished out...i obviousli laughed cos the fact remains that i accept punishment like a man.do the crime do the time...And as long as i live under their roof i play by their rules...n yes i have been flouting em majorli..but i got caught and as the game goes...high risk high returns baaaaaaaaad falls.....

time for foooootball.....the kind u play of course.not watch..hahahaha....

Let me dictate what i wrote, PaperMate
i use my words to assasinate

peace

koc

2004-08-02T14:50:00.000+08:00

on a quiet friday night....wit my evil twin n my sister on my left n right....chanced upon a tune that waxed lyrical abt my plight....

Misread is the name of the tune...if this doesnt make u take life a lil slower n relaaaaaaaaak wit a chill pill.......
i realli dunno wat else will...

Kings Of Convenience - Misread

If you wanna be my friend
You want us to get along
Please do not expect me to
Wrap it up and keep it there
The observation I am doing could
Easily be understood
As cynical demeanour
But one of us misread...
And what do you know
It happened again

A friend is not a means
You utilize to get somewhere
Somehow I didn't notice
friendship is an end
What do you know
It happened again

How come no-one told me
All throughout history
The loneliest people
Were the ones who always spoke the truth
The ones who made a difference
By withstanding the indifference
I guess it's up to me now
Should I take that risk or just smile?

What do you know
It happened again
What do you know

dun even think of downloadin it..cos we have tried..n if u can..u r a god... n would u pls send it to me???hehe

peace

vai

2004-07-30T13:48:00.000+08:00

finali in sch again...havent been to china since monday...parents were gettin a lil quizzical...n a lil suspicious for my likin'..n so the superhero had to run away to the peace n quiet of the Nanyang...

Met Sherin,Melissa n Maria last nite...for dinner n the inevitable beers...we found a damn nice gelid place at Marina Sq...it was fuckin chilly inside...n it was rainin outside..simpli prismatic i say...
while the girls were happili muchin away i was happili havin my ice cold brew....almost perfect...
Was nice seein them after so long....i call em the perennial party pple cos they are always havin some kinda party evry other month..but wat makes em cool is that they always cater to the the alcohol lovers which by my bks is divine...hehehe...

me n Sherin went for the Steve Vai concert after that...simpli put it was the best way to spend 50 bucks....Vai was simpli out of this world awesome..ive nevr seen anyone play the guitar like dat in my life...he played it with his tongue toes n the air he blew out of his mouth...now dats a level i cant even dream of reachin....but it was gd ol rock for a gd 3 hrs....even the rest of the band were so accomplished n amazing in their delivery...the bassist was extra cool cos we all noe how hard it is to play the bass n he was fingerboarding it all over like as if it was a plain electric...
But Vai stole the show wif his performance..his showmanship plus his skill was simpli untouchable...it was an honour to see one of the best guitarists inthe world perform live....

oh well...its fridae...dunno wats gonna happen tnite...dad is somehow not happy that im goin out almost evryday instead of "revisin" my werk.hahah...well i guess its cos he cares...damnnnnn...i dun beleive i said that...dayeeeeemmm...nononono..it cant be...nevr..no no no..
am i ...am i...am i growin old?? haha so draaamaaaaa siaaaaa...hahah..slaaaaaaaaack

onli gd thing is paaaaaaaaaarttttttttttayyyy at girish's place tmw....time to bring out the guitars n sing under the great influence of the wicked brew...

peace..

eliza

2004-07-29T11:55:00.000+08:00

the world we inhabit today is an unforgivin place...i nevr knew it till recentli...so i reali dun blame those who dun want to make mistakes n find it so hard to realize that in makin mistakes u learn a whole lot more than if u juz got it right the first time...soemtimes the price of fuckin up is juz tooooo much...sooo much that evryone treads wit sooo much caution they actuali forget to live it...live that very moment..

havent been to sch in awhile...its thur n i last went on monday...
even my mum is gettin a lil worried...next week next week..promise...
ill go to sch evry single day...this week is juz for gettin used to..

does anyone realize that Life in itself is sexually transmitted...
use protection..n it wun result in a life...but onli 99% chance...
they said the same thing for AIDS....

met this person yesterday...on the bus...stranger..bareli 30..
he was complainin to his fren on how sad his life is...he werks frm 9 to 8 evry day...has no girlfren...like he has the time...doesnt have a car..blah blah...i wish i could tell him to relak...he DOESNT need to werk dat much..n he DOESNT need a gf...n he DOESNT need a car...all he needs is an overdose
of chill pills n some beer...wish i could tell him to never take life too seriously,
no one gets out alive anyway

daddy has finali agreed to me wantin to be pilot altho i so noe that could change in an instant when one of his 'learned' frens tells him that its an unstable career...if i evr find these pple..i swear ill kill em...oh well..ive always been a stubborn dickhead...so i guess wateva happens i wun b chained.NONONO....
Altho this whole flyin thing got me thinking...if flyin is supposed to safe..y is the airport called the terminal??? sounds stupid

got to go look at the classifieds soon...a yr more b4 i have to start savin up for the crib at the bayshore...the view frm the topfloor is simpli priceless...n since im the ORIGINAL fan of the bayshore unlike some pple..*ahem ahem*
i have to stake my claim b4 imposters get their hands on it...n NO..im not bein materialistic..its pureli an aesthetic want...hahahah..if they had a village by the sea..ill live there..fer sure..but sadli tada..so i got to do
wit the bayshore..slaacck innit

lucky jan told me to watch buffy last nite...faith was back..not that im a fan of the show..i juz think that eliza dushku is simpli sii beeehh chio....n she looks so fuckin cool wif all that martial arts action..kinky as hell...hahaha
there is somethin different abt her...y do i always like that somethin different??? mayb cos im different..riiiiiiiiiite...

HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA!!!!!

do u live by imperialistic intentions..
juz wantin to rule n deal in mad mofo proportions
why dun u juz pop a pill n chill...
do nothin that goes against ur ideal will..

its time i took a cut for a smoke
get my nico fix wit my ice cold coke
juz rem my fresh voice over top of low frequency
the chain of connection between you n me...

peace

first day of sch

2004-07-26T14:34:00.000+08:00

attendin my first class this semester..the lecturer is this balding dude who is speakin
wit a raba raba heavy china man accent...how they so purposefuli stress their "r"s and their "S"s are totali misplaced...E417N Web Portal & Application Design....thot it would be kinda sorta engagin..but somehow someway
it looks like it might kill later on...esp wit Mr Baldy goin n on n on.when all he is actuali
doin is readin the damn lecture notes which i in a long time actuali printed b4 the class started...
n pple still dare ask me why i look so listless n bored in school...

oh well..it was a gd day nevrtheless..meeting the crew n finding ourselves a new place to hang
out in the canteen..n karen's first day in sch was peppered wit Suresh checkin out and dissin
evry other girl that walked past us...

i see that my tagboard has been the venue of much fanfare..hahaha...

Do i reali care that Pearl is gonna be outdated n JSP n ASP are damn "exciting"..blahblah..dun understand la dei...

was readin yesterday's papers this mornin(forgive me..not gd to read on a hangover)
Javad was on the 2nd page...i noe Jav..he is the same guy who cross dressed in school..n they
interviewed him for such a mundane topic..he is gonna do law after his first degree...i mean if ur house
has a damn bowling alley,tennis court, a 100m driveway,pool n jacuzzi..do u reali need to werk??

if i had the money i would reali study all my life..student life is second to none...altho..yes
this past 3 yrs in uni have not exactli been the best academicali but ive done enuff to noe
that ill do well when i do study somethin that i like...but reality bites n not all dreams materialize

Continuing frm my tagboard...i reali do think that you can have the best of both worlds...
but honestli i noe very few pple who have...cos more often than not..u see pple who either get
sucked into the mad-ass world of locodom or get soooo enslaved within the real world of material
success.its hard balancing both...very hard in fact..ive lost track of my objectives for a better part
of the recent past..but it was in this diversion that i saw myself in a way ive nevr done b4..
n i guess im lucky enuff to be able to get back to fulfillin my priorities n actuali cleanin
up my act a lil juz so dat i can sleep peacefulli at nite without havin to worry evrytime there is a knock
on the door or when im out n a copper passes by...its a long journey n i reali want to say
at the end of it all that it was worth my while n that i have lived a life that was full..of shit n more..hahaha

evrytime i feel this way onli one tune starts playin in my dolby not-s0-digital surround sound head of mine

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
"No, oh no not me,
I did it my way".

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way.

- Frank Sinatra

ive always advocated that evryone shd actualli try evrythin that is out there b4 dissin it or
even commenting abt it...as juvenile as it sounds...i think that altho there isnt any
concrete correspondence between wisdom n experience..there is definitli a strong degree of
suggestion...

oh oh someone asked a qn..shit..hahah..pple are actuali listenin in class...25 chinese pple..n
1 indian boy..wat a nice statistic...

Music playin on the boombox is gettin very slaaaaaaack...evry other song is sounding analogous..
im blamin piracy for this sudden lack of gd tunes..i dun think the music business is lucrative
animore which has brought abt totali manufactured BMG style music...the small town bands dun see releasing albums as a viable option animore...which is quite sad..watch MTV n ull see wat i mean... Most of em are ripoffs of Evanescence n Linkin Park n other "made it big" bands...

its as if the record companies are juz stickin to a winning formula n not wantin to take
risks wit avant garde music...time to make my own music methinks..hahahah...if onli..

ok break tiiiiiiiiime...il be lucky if i find one person to have a ciggie with...if i do..
ill buy 4D for the first time in my life...yes..dats how sure i am..

peace

nus or ntu

2004-07-22T12:39:00.000+08:00

i nevr thot ill say this..but i can safeli say now that my days in RJ
were alot more engaging n memorable than the ones spent in uni..
n my frens over at NUS happen to share the same bias...call it
elitist or whatever u want but the simple fact that the local unis
are juz a cesspool of crap isnt gonna be contravened...wats up wit orientation in ur 20's?? Bunch of lame dingdongs singin songs n playin games so that they can get to noe each other and find their way ard school easily..Topoing in the army din teach em shit eh..pple did that in sec sch n college man..u want to get to noe pple??? Free Flow Alcohol...5 Super Sized Bongs..n an unlimited supply of chocos n icecream...n trust me ull get to noe
anyone n evryone without havin to throw a mudball,stand on chairs or shouting "jiggity wang
wang" cheers wit headbands n all..GROW Up..the guys are ther for one reason n one reason onli..more info @ www.laddertheory.com (thank u suchi)...i asked my frens in Stanford n LSE how their orientation was like..they call it an initiation..no stupid games..no monkey cheering...juz gd ol partyin..madddd ass ones at that..n in the end u get to noe more n see more n do more than u evr imagined possible..hahaha

have u ever noticed anithin different abt the pple in the local unis..the ones who are contradistinctive are normali classified as bein wierd,act-cool,druggies,alcoholics & nutcases...i happen to be one who kinda enjoys individuality to its fullest...n 3 yrs in uni..equalli spent on both campuses...
have shown more than clearli that the girls are no more than by-products of CLEO's fashion tips,dressed by MANGO(most at least) and wise onli of their academic texts.The guys more often than not are robots that get drunk on 2 beers and seemingli think they can get laid by sayin the lamest of things..
n wearing the slackest of sleeveless shirts(leave that to the ladies)...

i can safeli say that if not my frens in uni..i would have packed up
n left a long long time ago...they are the sole reason why im still in school...albeit bein a small grp..ive had e time of my life all this while...n YES..none of em wear slack sleeveless shirts...n they can argue on more than two points

the coolest girls i meet are almost nevr frm NUS or NTU...i dun have a clue abt SMU..so lets not bring em in..they are havin enuff problems tryin to prove
themselves...

meeting a girl frm an Art School like NAFA or La-Salle or any other sch for that matter..is fuckin refreshin...as cliched as it is...these girls are more interesting to talk to and somehow are less inclined to expectations.n they are waaaaaaaaay cooler too mayb cos of their less sheltered and weather worn backgrounds.talkin turkey u sense almost no fako-dako
in em...unlike their counterparts who put on questionable accents and cant talk abt anithin
outside their scope of study and want me to teach em how to speak indian...how many times have we heard that b4???..ill teach em how to mouth indian if they want..gladli

the students maketh the uni..a vibrant n colourful uni can onli be brought abt if its students are of enuff potential to shine academicali not in terms of grades but in terms of the thought process n concurrentli allow themselves to explore watever life has to offer...n sadly..we have a long way to go b4 anithin
like dat happens...so quit the crap abt debating which uni is more "colourful"..cos none of em are..i can make the cemetary look reali colourful wit juz the right
amount of banners n streamers...

Disclaimer : All of the above are in reference to the majority n no one in particular..if u do not
agree wit any of these claims then i guess u r the minority..my fuckin foot
u r juz deluded..hahah...minority minority..yesyes...

21st july

2004-07-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

the 21st of July..a date dat will nevr leave the recesses of my memory methinks...i still a lil more than vagueli remember myself then..for the better part of the yr..i have no recollection..but when this day cometh...it all suddenli becomes vodka clear...
me n my whacked radical idealistic thots abt love n life then are a lil subdued now....hahah reallii nowww...oh well...history teaches u ..n that kinda history teaches u the game...the rules of engagement...wat to say how much to say n wat not to say...a road not travelled is a wealth of knowledge lost...im glad i din lose...

Been meeting alot of frens recentli..pple i nevr had e time to meet before due to my very busy schedule hahaha & very addictive ex-extra curricular activities...The more pple i meet the more dimensions my thots take...fuel for an already ragin fire...

Learn wisdom from the pupil of the eye that looks upon all things and yet to self is blind..All e stuff i noe ive hardli learnt frm a book or two..wat i see is all i noe...
yet i grapple wit findin myself..but comes to mind a prose...

Dun be misled by wat u see young man..
For deception plays shady on innocent minds..
It is up to you to see right frm wrong..
Learn the ways n live in wine n song...

I guess its onli in this stream of consciousness reminiscing that i see a lil bit of myself...happens to evryone..yes? no?

Met one of my old skool crew for breakie todae..a man who used to blaze e trade,now he preaches Islam to the disillusioned for a living...Slightly built,shy-acting
& soft-voiced Mahmood looked very different frm days of yonder when all he evr wore were ripped beyond classification jeans n anti-semitic tshirts...now in a kurta n headgear...kinda shockin for a bit...Somehow the conversation grazed the topic of freedom...somethin that both of us felt reali strongli abt..brought to mind a moment in time when i asked this poseur dude who the character on his tshirt was..."its che guevera ..a cuban freedom fighter" .. i would have dished out a flyinkick right there...but the confines of the wine bar kept me to my seat...since when was che cuban??? siiiiiiiiiigh...i felt the same way when some doofus called bob marley a popstar...if rasta was reali popular culture...maan...ill be the happiest man on earth..oh well..to the knowing the unknowing are slaves of thot...

talks of freedom brought abt moments of memory that showed an encore telecast of the govt's call for creative thinkin n annoucing tht singaporeans were too myopic..blahblah
wickedli whacked innit the same govt who put our eyes out in da first place now condemns us because we cannot see...

Am i growin older or am i growin older??? Suddenli im doin stuff ive nevr done b4...tearin up classified ads n pasting em in bks...juz tellin myself that i gotta have options...JUNE 2005..the hunt will begin....n im gonna make sure my army is ready for recon....hahah

another day in paradise....

im seein the light..the same beacon of truth that kept me afloat when tsunamis rocked my rockerfella sampan...i tried..

clubnitez

2004-07-19T12:47:00.000+08:00

i was asked why yesterday...somethin that ive nevr heard my dad ask me b4..after almost a decade
of decadence he asks me why..why do u have to live like this?? i was bombarded wit qns
in the calm collected full of worry style my dad uses that leaves me drippin' wit guilt..
All these yrs ive always thought that he had no clue to wat i was gettin up to outside
the army camp i call home...its a warm army camp full of love n affection but wit a disciplinin
force worthy of hitler...but yesterday he was so full of worry..it was all over his face..n even
in my half-drunk state i could see that he was almost in tears...tears of worry that his onli
son, the one who he thinks the world of might juz leave him dissapointed...
i would have expected a tongue lashing..but nooooo..all he told me.. "dun be a virgin soldier..
try wat u have to try..n if its makin u the person u arent..then leave it n try somthin else"
how do i tell my own father that ive been to the mecca of bad habits n back..alive wise but still
holdin on to a few habits that im tryin to break n still tryin..my mum seems to understand...
she has accepted me as an adult...she noes wateva i get up to..n juz tells me to be safe..
i think it has dawned on my dad too..that the son he once knew...the very same hands he used
to hold n cross the road..n wait for the bus to come all till the age of 14...those hands have
been to places n done stuff that onli his imagination can fathom...but..im glad i told him...
that im back..home...

oh well..at least now i noe that my dad has respected me all these years that ive come
home wit a stinkin hangover n lookin like i juz got run over by a truck..he respected me
enuff to let me go n sleep n wake up in the evenin...i may have eaten more rice..but
he has tasted more salt...n im glad that this man is my father...cos onli he would tolerate
a son like me...hahahahahahah

aniwae the weekend was simpli fantabulous...went to baybeatz on fri n saturdae wit the boys..
the music was pretty cuttin edge...altho i wasnt expecting Nu-metal..but it was reali njoyable..
bein wit the pple that mean alot to me..who are home for the next few months...

the party @ harry's after that was maaaaaaad..it was an old skool party..to celebrate vj's bdae
n harry's hosuewarmin n stuff...we actuali went for dinner n all..hahah...
clubbin was a lil of a letdown..all the places were like packed..n even the promise of
money wouldnt let us in...oh well..carnegies was fun nonetheless...it was nice partyin wit the
boys...no women at all...so no need to take care of anyone...it was juz maaaaaad fun...

since we were all a lil too drunk for comfort..me n izzu exchanged phones juz so dat he wouldnt n i wouldnt
make any unwanted phone calls or send any msgs that might juz warrant a police protection
order against me...there is onli so many sorries u can say b4 it starts gettin lame yeh...
so..the plan werked..n no msgs were sent..on my part @ least...altho i got a few msgs
that kinda rattled my boat a lil bit..but thankfulli the bourbon kinda put me to sleep
b4 i had the chance to reply...but..nonetheless it was a aaweeeesssooommmee nite..until of coure
my dad emo-whacked me when i got home...hahahah

sch is startin in a week....ooooooohhhhh yeaaaaaahh..cant wait mon...its sch its sch

peace

2004-07-15T10:04:00.000+08:00

my sister is baaaaccccckkkkkkk.....finali there is someone else at home in the daytime...
santa claus can seriousli go fuck a spider cos my sister is waaaaaay more trustworthy than him..
i got soooooooooo many presents frm the english man's land...sooooooo sooooo many...
even a fresh marijuana leaf all framed up juz to yunno...i dunno wat..aniwaee..

tuition kid was suuuper curious tdae...asked me how a blimp werks and asked me to explain
why a motorboat uses diesel instead of petrol..pretty elementary stuff..but still had to think...
which is not wat im paid to do..hahaha...

a lil more than a week left b4 the omni important final yr begins...hard to believe that its
been 3 yrs since i first started uni...maaaaaan...locooooooo...
oh well..its almost fridae...this week past by sooo fast...totali whizzed past me...
next week im gonna stretch it...gonna make the last week of the hols one hell of a ride..
ive been a guai kid for far too long....im startin to grow roots stayin at home...
i think this brief hiatus of keepin away frm the public eye has lasted a lil longer than enuff..
but then again..mayb not...mayb now im juz slippin out of it...so i gotta wait till im totalli
out...then can start playin a fool again..

went to the airport yest...was all smiley..my mum was laughin at me bein all smiley..
evrytime a pilot walked by ill smile...no..not that i took a fancy to any one of em..
i juz could see an image...a vision if u may call it...of me..in that very same cap..
shirt tie coat n trousers ...wit the bag n the bevy of not so beauties trailin...
ahahahhahha....my oh my...dannng...i nevr wanted a job so bad till this one...
oh well..if its meant to be..itll be...

feelin a lil liberated recentli..which is gd...somethin real slack was tyin me down..
i was always a kite without a reel...n methinks ill continue bein one...
izzu n danyboy are comin down frm malaysia for the weekend..parrrrtaaaaaaayyyyy!!!!!!!

peace

dreams

2004-07-13T10:39:00.000+08:00

dem dreams are gettin increasingli whacked as the nites go by
but sweeter...makin me get up wit a smile n all...
last nite's one was sooooo bloooooooody crazeeeee...hahaha..im able to remember
my dreams lateli for some very strange reason...
boy am i glad...altho the other characters were locoli mixed up...
the special someone was e main character...n i was playin scissors paper stone wit her..n
she was actuali in my arms altho in reality thats like Jlo stayin married for a month(nevr gonna happen)
n i made her sing for me...hahahahahha....n then she somehow changed her outfit into this wickedli beautiful white thingie lookin like an angel n all...maaaaaaan...whoever said u needed drugs to have nice dreams was sooooooo wrong...
oh well...they are dreams for a reason...n when dreams come true...it shd last last thru all season

gonna meet mookz for lunch soon..in the heart of lawyer district..sure to meet some
blasts frm the past...then off to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned...hahah..i think i need
it frm all the marlboro stainin...

subra is back frm london..aiiiiiighht..one more homie check...

i think im goin back to sleep to continue the dream if thats even possible...
purple n pink she shd appear in...mayb mayb not..but who cares abt the colour...
its the innocence of it all that im njoyin...back to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!

peace

education

2004-07-12T22:49:00.000+08:00

the rain has been reali nice these coupla days..been @ home for a gd 72 hrs n more..n hey..
no complaints..six star suite wit room service frontin' like dat...
dun need to be a hotstepper outside no more maaaan...its all gooooood in the crib..

neways...was readin e papers this mornin...4 pages of the new sch system they gonna introduce...
wat the fuck is up wit that?? the govt talks of reform in the education system...
reform for who again?? the general population no? but wat do u see??
shortcuts to university,skippin the "o" levels,6grade schools & introduction of the IB..
how come of all these seem to serve onli one segment of the student population..
the damn 10% dun need much of a choice man..they were doin fine...its those kids frm the
other 90% that need help..they need the damn choice..cos the rigorous curriculum dun interest
most of em...they need to do somethin else...y is the govt broadenin the scope for those who do
well enuff in sch to do it on their own..i mean these kids will get the scholarships to do
wateve they want later on in life...so do they realli need these kinda changes?? frankli
all this is gonna do is to increase the number of elitists that the system churns out..
parents are gonna be pressured to make sure that their kids make it to these "special"
schools...n who suffers in the end?? the kid..the slack price he pays for bein smart..

the govt so convenientli forgets the exorbitant number of pupils in the normal ad n tech streams..
who would love the opportunity to do somethin else instead of learnin how a damn generator werks or whether
an ionic or covalent bond is stronger..do u think they give a shit?? give these pple more variety n choice in education n see how they shine..an academic education is impt ..granted..simple arithmetic and
linguistic skills are essential...but u dun need to drag it for those who have no fuckin interest in anythin further...they gonna open an art school..n who is it for??? the AEP students...n the sports school is a big joke....i beg the govt's pardon but they can seriousli go to hell..

i think that they shd adopt the IB across the board..im sure the kids frm the neighbourhood schools will njoy the breadth of such an education...ive taught kids frm there b4..n in my opinion they have more of a brain than most of the pple i noe frm all the top ten schools...mayb less inclined academicalli but nonetheless as sharp and as analytical...

oh well..gimmw a few more yrs..if the pilot thing doesnt werk..im sure u noe where ill be headed next...haha..im gonna give these kids the shot at life they deserve...somehow someway ....i shall put a leash on this puppy for now..

was thinkin abt the political use of madness...so lets juz say i propose a fuckin out of this world insane idea and it sparks off an out of this world insance discussion..out of it comes a revelation that
seems to make sense...then how?? would i be termed mad..or ingenious?

are all lies a sign of betrayal whether its white red green or blue???
technicali it makes perfect truth...*ponder wonder*

heard somethin tht made a lot of sense..

to be in power u dun need guns or money or even numbers...u juz need to the will
to do wat the other guy wouldnt do...

this computer is startin to go a lil loco...i dunno where all these worms are comin frm..sometimes i reali wonder why the pple who create these worms do em..i mean...wat the HELL is wrong wit them?? fuckin nerds...told u they were the most dangerous pple in the world..no one listens..n now the spore govt wants to give em new schools to go to,expediting their rise to the top..WELL fuckin DONE!!!
hahahah

gonna visit the dentist tomoroe..im so sure he is gonna go on n on n on abt how
i shdnt smoke n that i shd brush my teeth after evry meal...gimme a kitkat la..oh dat one also cannot..
hope it ends quikli..cos gonna watch spiderman wit prav n subbz after dat..wooohhooo
the last time i went to watch spiderman i had a hindustani girl watchin me instead of the screen
in strange psychotic fashion...this time round..il juz be wary of praveen's hard on when he sees spidey..
hahahahahhhahahahaahhahahaha.................

peace

burfdaaae moookz

2004-07-10T10:43:00.000+08:00

craaaaazaaaaaaaaaaay shiiiiiiiiit.....i reali dunno y im up again so earli..onli slept @ 4 after the long nite out for Mookz's bdae...first time in a long time we were @ 3 places in one night n i came home almost abstemious...i guess.i juz dun want to get drunk or reali high in public animore..its reali not safe methinks...i mean even when i was sober i was meetin characters frm the
past who din quite like the way izey used to rock the show...

Met a girl whom i used to fraternize with...brilliant n beautiful she was..in the runnin for 1st class
honours in political science n all n then droppin out of sch....but wat did i see her doin?? in the arms of a 50ish white man
totali wasted n in a handkerchief..im cooler than cool wit skimpy clothing..
as long as it covers wat it needs to cover n it looks gd on u..go right ahead
but this was like..haha i think she would have been better off not wearin anithin
..i mean..when i asked her abt her calumnious dressin 3 yrs back she handed me a spliffy n told me she wanted to experience life
and wateva it had to offer b4 she has to wear the tudung..hahah...i did laugh when i heard it n i did piss her off in the
process..but i guess then i knew that it was the stupidest excuse in the world n i was proven very right last nite...so we exchanged stares at the pub n i guess she knew wat was goin on in my head..im not one to judge..but its juz reali sad that someone of her calibre had
to go down like dat..cos her eyes were all deep set n she seemed lost..trademark sign of
drug abuse..oh well..to each his own..she wasnt an ex gf for me to bother much sooo.i was relak enuff to juz let it pass...din think the situation even warranted a "hi"..
but im juz prayin she sorts herself out cos i get reali pissed off when reali smart
pple screw their lives up for the stupidest of things...i mean she aint no freud on cocaine but hey..

Mookz was sooo happy that we all had the surprise thing for him at Cafe Iguana for his birthday..pretty small
affair wit old frens n his sisters...was nice..could see dat he was suuuper happy..wif all
thats happenin to him i guess it was a break he could do with..n im pretty glad
i had somethin to do wit it..hahaha...altho next time we have to eat somethin wit the beers man
..i still havent eaten since thur nite...slaaaaaaaaack

so after iguana,and meeting the infamous political science superstar at Crazy Elephant which had the coolest reggae band..
headed down to Zouk Winebar on the repeated insistence of Harish n PRav...i sooo din want to go..
that was the last place in the world i would want to be seen at..standing wit one jug
in the corner posing..oh maaaaaaan...but i was made to...cos Harry started on his.."can la can la" rants...
well..it wasnt too bad...prav was occupied wit his gf..while me mooks n isa were juz makin full use of
the pillars there...watchin drunk chinese girls...n doin the whole "hey how u doin" preamble @
evry other ex RJ or AC person we knew...i got a called a "Gangster Rat" by someone..dunno y..totali
out of the blue..at least they din try n get too chummy with me...they knew better...
Prav was also very obviousli bored n mookz kept himself bz wit findin chairs for us..
then juz when we had abt enuff the Old Skool AC boys got hold of me thanks to harish..
n refused to let me go...they din beleive that ive kinda sorta given up this whole party party
public life..haha..got a slight buzz frm the amt of alcohol that was bein stuffed in my face..
n u cant possibli hear anithin at the winebar..so i juz chopchop did em all n left wit a promise
that we'll have a great session at Harry's when the other boys are back home..
But i got called a superfly great guy by the drunkards..hahah..made my night..hahahahah

yeah..then back home...dad din make too much noise..i bet he has been wondering how i come
home totali sober at such late hours..i mean wat the hell am i doin outside then...guess
daddy juz missed all the inbetween episodes of izEy's World feat. Bobby..:)

fuckin nightmares din allow me to sleep properli..had 3 yes 3 police chasin me dreams...
how to sleep like dat??? but the funniest thing in my dream was when harish gave me a guitar
chord book when i got caught n told me to spend my time wit it while he pays the police
off soon...hahahahaha...that woke me up...for gd...

its another saturdae...hmm..wonder wats gonna happen tdaeeeeeeee........???

peace

bein monogamous is gettin a lil easy...but its a wicked mind-boggler whether its all worth it...
a baseless enigma sometimes juz seems so right....

cia

2004-07-09T16:40:00.000+08:00

Met Krystal yest after like so long...the onli reason why i have survived evry damn borin lab session in sch...seen her thru her many hair colours and her evry changing jap animore wardrobe...now she is all businesswoman..rakin in so much money..glad she is soo happy...altho we still havent settled our score in the hockey stick fight..but how to hit her sia...uses the damn "but im a helpless chinese girl ..how can u hit me" line on me all the time..

Brekos was fun..Holland V looks soo damn nice in da afternoon..not many pple..me n Krys were like the onli ones in the cafe...Holland V will always have a special place in my heart methinks..since college ive been hangin out there...n im still not sick of it...
the very the healthy meal that u see below was picked by who else but jap anime herself..
it was nice tho..altho i thought the sandwich was waaaaaaay to big...n fork n knife wit a sandwich...sorry man...that kinda shit i cant do..hahahah

gotta wait another 2 weeks b4 i can disturb her again...but ive been promised somethin frm jakarta...n im pretty sure its contraband..hahah wun have it any other way

took a listen to pearl jam for like an hour tdae...in recent times hardli has there been a vocalist that cuts an edge the way eddie does...pearl jam the most popular rock n roll band of the 90's..pretty much forgotten by the thrash we have hoggin the airwaves today...the 90's was music's magnum opus...more specificalli edgy rock's...granted ther is no match for the tunes of Rainbow,LEd Zep,Uriah Heep,Deep Purple,Scorpions & The Doors...but still i think Temple Pilots,Smashin Pumpkins,GNR,Chilli Peppers & Nirvana made their mark...they kinda defined a generation..
i mean yeah there were those dudes who listened to e Pet Shop Boys & Backstreet Boys..fuckin tortillas..but most of us..were all abt the power chords and the blaring riffs they were simple tunes on the guitar but wit such recondite bewitchin lyrics...
damn...i could go on forever abt music...at least im glad i have a passion for somethin..hah

hmm..mookz is 24 tdae...that would mean that in a few months time i will also reach that number...Christ was 33 when he died,got resurrected n saved mankind...that would mean ive got abt 9 yrs....9 yrs??? not too long innit...

would anyone beleive if i told em that i was actuali an assasin.A Nox.that all of this was juz a facade...that by age 18 i was a trained CIA operative based in Asia..and that i could speak 15 languages and that ive alreadi killed 33 pple on the job...i mean..frankli..how would u evr noe...??
if deception was the key..n the very fact that pple will nevr beleive me if i tell em the truth..would simpli mean the plan werked..deception..my weapon of choice

i wonder sometimes that the thots i push into the world thru the birth canal of my imagination would cause a significant change in the way things happen...there is somethin seriousli
wrong wit the Khong Guan biscuits...feels like im munchin on pebbles..not that i would noe how dat feels..but...

cant keep on haranguing......the time is acoming....for the chosen ones to ride the lightning

Cafe Iguana..wat a name...shall go make my presence felt by devouring some reptiles...oh slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!
tdae's vegetarian day....

peace

makin ur own reality

2004-07-07T16:01:00.000+08:00

evrythin still looks so blur....dunno y i cant sleep in these days...nevr used to be a prob..oh well..its a gd thing aniwae...EngWee was supp to call me liek an hour ago for our breakfast date..haha..Me guessin he is gonna meet me like an hour b4 he leaves for the airport..rush 2 beers wit me n then fly off to Middle Earth land...i actualli miss Wee keh..he was like my Chinese twin back in college..ok he aint fully chinese...50% Dutch 50% Chinese...hah wat a combi..
u could def tell he wasnt pureli oriental by his size...n boy did we use that kinda size we
were blessed with so well on the field.then the post training beers at Ghim Moh..College was real sweet...aniwae..yeah..hope he calls soon b4 my dad kidnaps me for the whole day...

went to prav's last nite...me n mookz started the OC marathon..thanks to mookz's "curfew" we had to end it prematureli..but nonetheless it was a gd pt to stop..Ryan is gettin screwed big time for lovin Marissa too much n gettin all psycho on her ...thanks to that oddball Oliver...n its so obvious that Seth still likes
Summer a whole lot more than he fancies Anne..which is quite sad..cos i happen to think
than Anne is reali cool n funky...hahahahhaah...but wat do i noe abt women yeh...oh well..
im sure they'll be happy wit all the money they have..mayb not..ahh da call has come
gotta carry on wit this later on..im off to breakfast at JURONG..how glamarous..hahaha

hmm juz got back frm the very very 'rustic' settings of the ol' Boon lay market wit a couple of my chinese crew frm the old days...been quite a while since i hung wit my dudes frm the young n dangerous hongkong movie triad like gang we used to be...things alot different now..no one
was talkin abt who we were gonna target next in the rise to the top...but more..of wat the future was holding for us...the shit growin up does to u...brought up a very debatable topic..
Wealth or Job satisfaction??? a trade-off of the highest order..there is no comparitive advantage of any kind when it comes to his question...the economics of international trade kinda become
redundant..there is no production possibility curve to plot n draw a conclusion frm..

so is it abt livin it up or livin it happy?...Mark Twain did speak of somethin that when your hobby becomes ur job, ull nevr havr to werk a day in ur life...but then again..wat if ur hobby becomes so much of a job then it ceases to bring the pleasures it brought as a plain hobby...

Chin Ann was tellin me abt how China looks like the next big thing despite the many unsavoury newspaper reports abt doin business there...hmmm..me in China??? now thatll be a sight..but then again..im sure ill njoy myself since ive always been ah kah chi wit the chinese dudes..hahah..i guess..its this whole feelin i get when im wit the chinese boys ive grown up with..i mean..i dun get
it at the TU..those there cant string a sentence of English wit the same competence these guys
can...as elitist as it sounds..its true..which is y i always look forward to meetin em..cos we can talk abt anithin frm politics to life to women to anythin under the sun basicalli...which at the end of the day is the one n onli thing i look for in a lady..her ability to talk
abt anithin n actuali feed me wit information n knowledge...cos life is a learnin process..n i wish
to be learnin evry wakin hour till the day im not capable of it animore which onli dementia can make do...

so back to the qn..its always been at the back of my head..so if i become a pilot...job satisfaction guaranteed for now..ill get to do the one thing that i always wanted to do..see evrythin n anithin the world has to offer albeit in transit...but its not gonna make me some multi-millionaire..ill be comfortable
for sure..but there will b no XJ or Carrera parked in the driveway..n i think i could live with that...cos i dun think that says anithin abt ur quality of life...i want to be happy..be able to provide the pple i love with evrythin they want n juz be simpli happy...idealistic...like duuuuuuuhhh...thats like my middle name...

i could always choose the corporate route...be like super rich wit absolutely no time for anyone...
but wat the hell is the point then....cos money cant buy affection and ther is absoluteli no
price tag to watchin ur kids grow up or snugglin up to the woman u love or watchin ur parents grow old..

Havent we seen enuff super rich men who have families of different flags.the whole idea of
a family becomes a joke to these pple.God did say for he there will be a she..n u will have the future of me...
yeah..so im pretty much convinced that even though i may be in the company of the filthy rich in the future wit my so high flyin frens..ill be more than happy if i had a close knit family that enjoys the company of each other more than anithin money can buy..yup...n thats the werd...well if that kinda idealism aint goin down too well wit the rest they can come n shove it...

it is the truth that we all create our own reality to a certain extent...ur very own fantasy might juz be harsh reality to someone else...n ur reality would converseli be someone else's fantasy...i guess the boundaries of such terminology tend to be more relative than anithin we can fathom..as much as ignorance is bliss...i guess knowledge is power..

its not exactli abt bein a defendant bein dependant on the system...
there is no system mon...its juz a fallacy that is bein fed to innocent minds to encourage conformity...
take it as it is...they dun need to understand...dun let em smear the individual & dun fear the unsuspected
juz remember that in vain deceit...the truth becomes obsolete...

shanthan is talkin to me on msn totali wasted..hahah he is so fuckin hilarious...
his kampung girlfren is sleepin next door after fixin him dinner..brudder has got the life la..
after all the slaaaaack indian girls he has been out i guess he has finali hit paydirt..
a nice chinese kampung girl frm Bali...haha..wat were the odds of that happenin...
i guess its true..it does come when u least expect it...u r juz elected...
im juz happy dat he is reali happy...i juz hope no evil eye sets upon him...
cos that will be juz sad..but then again...i will not let it happen..
my frens were always n will always be protected by me...i miss our rastafarii chants..haha

Repressing true expression
Cementing this repression
Promoting mass deception

rem dat...

peace

daddy;s werds

2004-07-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

been a pretty ruff past few days...busted a neck..became a wreck...but jumped up again..after a nice lady doctor brought back the mack n made me wanna hit the sack...

talkin to my old man alot lateli..i dunno wats happenin...mayb im growin a lil older..either that or im seriousli givin alot of weight to his werds...cos hardli have i ever been so stuck on the sofa listenin intentli as my old man spoke of the past n the lessons he had learnt...

i rem a time when i use to jump on the first chance i had to escape those long long lectures on the game of life n how the wise one always wins the strong one...

i guess it would nevr be the same after the streets teach u the hard way..u learn to appreciate advice frm people who have seen it been there done it...thank u daddy for showin me how deep the water
can get without me havin to almost drown in it..but of course i did try jumpin in..not forgettin my lifejacket..heh

dad was tellin me abt ether level communication..somethin that we have wit the pple we love..rem the times when u could somehow feel how ur girlfren was feelin...somehow someway...was pretty deep shit..altho at 3 am it was not the best of times..but dad managed to hold my attention for pretty much most of it...cant devulge anithin here..cos these are the secrets of the mystic masters...hahaha...helps me read the unborn minds i come in contact wit...

its been a week and a lil more...givin up bein an outlaw...therefore..i wouldnt be havin no crystals in unwanted places...izzu left for KL last nite...siiiiiiighhhhh....road trippin' gotta come to a block...

been seein lots of nonsense goin on these days wit this whole boy-girl liason thing...
pple listenin to gossip,beleivin it n breakin up...
pple suddenli realizin that they are part of the muck n mire of filthy elitist society...
broken promises...short-lived feelins of bein wanted n needed...
the more i see...nevr beleived wat i hear..realization hits...

was told by a fren that the idealism in me might be a Bigger than BIG MAC that reality might juz take a bite at...well..im sure it will...but thank god ive grown up to be who i am..makes me a lil more strapped for the showdown wit reality..mayb ive nevr seen streets wit pimps,prostitutes,
bootleggers,with hustlers of all kinds,with colorful characters and with police n prohibition agents...
but i have seen the evil in a man...the jealousy, the evil eye cast upon me...so in a way..
you tend to know..

Angel is turnin out to be a babe...keepin me occupied for hours on end...thats all i need for now..
somethin to keep me gainfulli occupied so dat my evr travellin mind body n soul dun get into
jeopardous n shady ventures..

mum has offered to get me a Xbox for bein such a gd son..hahaha....either that or they juz want
me to b at home all the time...dunno wats up wit dat...they juz want me ard..think itll be
ok once kamzie comes back..then she'll b stuck at home n i can go out n fly a lil..the legit way of course

Mookz has called me 4 times in the past hour...haha he muz reali be bored...see thats wat happens
when suddenli u get so much time..told him nevr to make his gf the centre of his world.i mean she hasnt proven herself yet..so y the royal treatment?.i mean..
nuthin at this age shd revolve ard a person...u make that mistake once..n u shd learn..but i guess
he juz needs two...but i guess once he starts werk at LEE & LEE..things shd b fine...

the rest of the crew shd be returnin real soon...for now its juz me mooks harry n prav...
harry is on a day trip to sri lanka..hahah..hopefulli he keeps mum abt his malayalee bulllshiiiiiiit...
b4 the tamil tigers bust a cap on him...

a lil bit of my game juz to get the flow bak...

by age seventeen pretty much ace in the knuckle game...
twenty one saw the lady go n the honeyz arrive not quite the same...
been playin the game evr since ballin n spinnin the jazz
din take too long to realize that i wasnt abt the razzmatazz

mistakes of the past fast forward to present moments
might have juz made me lose the one i wanted to lace wit di-ya-monds..
i guess thats e reason why thugs cry...
the rep doesnt leave u till the day u die...

battle scars go but these perceptions stay
that the one that faulted once cannot go the right way
redemptiom will come soon i hope n pray
that i will see my night turn into a sunny day

peace

nostalgia hits

2004-07-02T00:59:00.000+08:00

juz got back frm chillin wit my old school crew...danny boy n mookz n me under
the block wit a bottle of peach tea...so this is it...peach tea..somethin auggie will
confirm start dissin when he returns..but hey..i admit i cannot drink more than once
a week...thats the limit..if i cross it..i will definitli die...ok i may not die..but ill
live to regret it terok terok...

n im back at 1130...normali this is the time that it starts...wat if this is juz a phase??
well wateva it is...i guess my theory of us havin the cheat code for the nintendo game of life
is def true..cos there is no other explanation of how all 8 of us have reached this point
in our lives in 100% condition.Deep inside i think we've juz given our guardian angels
a hell of a time..so it finalli hits us that its abt time we gave em a break..a nice lil break
to recuperate...keep it legit..keep it moderate...u can still have fun without toeing changi
prison...most definitly..youthful angst didnt allow such wisdom to be appreciated yrs ago..

If you wake up in the middle of the night and feel a comforting arm around you..
If you are having troubles and hear soft words of encouragement whispered in your ear..
If you are so wasted and u still manage to get home safe n sound...
If you wake up in strange places with no recollection but evrythin intact...
If you manage to avoid road blocks for 5 yrs drivin dead drunk....
If you manage to come back alive after fightin locals in tioman n barcelona...
If you see the gd in bad pple and the bad in gd pple...
If your life is filled with sorrows but something unseen brings you inner peace..
If someone picks you up when you fall and quietly urges you on...

it has to be the werk of our guardian angels...an unseen but very much appreciated metaphysical force
in our lives.
im sure we all have had strange encounters that juz cannot be explained...as practical as u may
be...we all have been touched by an angel...n when we realize dat...i guess..u tend to treasure
life a lil more...cos i definitli treasure the things i have more than i did 4 yrs ago..my family,my friends,
my home and my whole life in general.i wun take the same uncalculated risks and crazy mudderfuggerish
chances animore.no way in hell.there is juz too much at stake.i mean if i fucked up my life
like waaaaaay earlier..then mayb it wouldnt be an issue..but i din werk my ass off this much..n this far
to screw it up now...i would be an educated idiot if i did...im not gonna preach n say wats wrong frm
right..im juz sayin..go learn..but make sure u come back learned,wise..hurt mayb..but not scarred and disfigured.

experience...to me its the best teacher of the game of life..i mean yeh..advice tries to teach..but but brudder..
we all noe...who in their fuckin right minds will evr listen...muz kenna..then onli learn..
those kinda lessons stay wit u for life..

was walkin ard town for like 7 hrs tdae...first time in a long time i went on one of my solo
walkabouts ard town.met so many different pple.juz watchin em..no talkin...was pretty nostalgic..
thots were racin thru my head at crazeeeee speeds...went to borders..they din have the book on tarot
card readin i wanted...quite slaaaaack....

im actualli quite tired...got to go help prav move house tmw...haha..poor guy is stuck wit two COWS
in his house @ the moment..yes..two REAL COWS..the mooo mooo kind...

found my new gf tdae also...fell in love wit her the moment i saw her..
gonna collect her on saturdae...sounds sooo nice...i think @ 300 bucks she is a steal...
cant wait for saturdae...im gonna name her ANGEL....will put up a pic of her real soon..

4th day at home...im startin to feel reali comfy..daddy was kinda cute when he told me that
he din want to tell me to do anithin juz in case i decide to leave home again..hahahahah
guess hitler is becomin real soft...but im juz glad he sees that i can take care of myself...
there is nothin to prove to anyone animore..i juz have to prove to myself...that the stars are mine
to reach..n reach i will...i hope..peace

Guardian Angel from heaven so bright,
Watching beside me to lead me aright,
Fold thy wings round me, and guard me with love,
Softly sing songs to me of heaven above. Amen.

theory of relativity

2004-06-30T19:53:00.000+08:00

been quite a while...well..compared to the time the Bush administration took to wisen
up and hand over rule its nothin but..yeah..absence of my thots was felt...so im back
by popular demand that doesnt exist...

relativity...i never reali understood this whole theory of relativity thingie i was fed
over the yrs..i mean..at that age..juz the mere mention of Einstein would juz make u
shut up..but after learnin that he was a dingdong himself..i mean u actualli ..ok i..actualli
question some things...so the theory of relativity defines energy as E=MC squared..
fiine..but wats so relative abt that...i mean..muz it reali be called e theory of relativity and how
is that it defines anythin and evrythin in the universe..frankli..wat is a grain of sand to me
might be a boulder to an ant..now dats relativity as how i understand it.i mean the Twin Paradox is pretty self-explanatory..so im guessin..that
the relativity bit in E=MC squared thingie was juz a noun..somethin put there to make it sound
smart...like most of the things we are used to callin...a noun happens to be the slackest of the
grammatical building blocks in my opinion..on wat basis..i reli dunno..haha okae for those who a lil
confused i was juz talkin kok...the theory of relativity is actuali quite deep juz dat i got issues
wit its name...simple...

was watchin the clinton interview on BBC a coupla nites ago...was talkin abt his new bk..
i was wondering..man..the whole world knew abt ur philandering blowjob and the fact that
ur wife refuses to give u one n u stil can come on TV...u da man la brudder..but nvm abt that..
evryone makes mistakes n monitakes..n kudos to hillary for bein so forgivin..i mean if my wife ( if i ever make
that kinda mistake) does some lollipop to someone else..i dun think ill be forgivin..haha..how to?? i mean if u playin me keep it on e low laydeeeeeee
evrytime i kisss her..ill see a dick n ill proli even think im tastin one altho truthfulli i wouldnt noe how one tastes like..hahah..
n dats not gd at all..fer sure

well yeah..so...Bill C said that all of us are a mixture of selflessness and selfishness..juz in
differing proportions...im stil brain breakdancing wit that...

had a very tiring past 2 days...tiring but sii beh fun..had to finalli undertake the pains of movin out of halls after 3 long
memorable n beautiful yrs @ Hall 10..threw away so many things cos i din want to see em at home
n get reminded of the wicked times we all had at the devil's temple..I felt that since im movin
back home, i should start afresh...gave away my tv and guitar to izzu..altho the guitar is currentli
bein hijacked by a certain someone..IZZu make sure u get it back.

yeah went to east coast last nite after the bangla shifting episode...juz me n my crew frm the TU..
was reali nice..i hate to say this..but the east coast food village is fuckin nice...it reminds me
of some far away island getaway..i mean i wasnt too bothered abt the food..but the beer stall guy n
izey dats me became frens..n the rest as they say is...history...it was real cool wit him n me callin each
other "brudder" this n "brudder" that...hahah..then lyin down on the beach ..me,izzu n lav drunk
terok terok out of our minds singing champagne supernova totali out of tune thanks to izzu.starin at the skies.diana dancing for us juz to keep us awake n a lil
warm frm the biting cold..n then commando drivin us back to the TU in our rented van..perfect
nite n a perfect way to move out n come home for gd...

pity roy din wanna join us...he said such overnight activities dun appeal animore...say waaat?
din want to push it...had a long talk wit karen when i was a lil dipsy tipsy..hahah..cos the spot i
was on reminded me of karen,jess n zee when we were watchin the outdoor screenin of Almost Famous
like 2 yrs ago...very nice memories...shd meet up wit em soon..i actuali miss their nonsense..weird
cos these are the onli 3 girls who together with Suchitra who dun hold back anithin when they talk
to me...they diss cuss swear n put me in my place ALL the time...n i guess..in a way its a reality
check of sorts...they noe the real me...n they can nevr accept the fact that im waaaaay cooooler than
them..hahahahahahahahahahhaha....bring it on my darlins...bring it on..did u reali think i was
gonna give in?? no way in timbuktoooooooooo...

the boys want me to plan a trip to tioman...hmmm AGAIN...this would be the 3 rd time im plannin a trip there..
i want to go somewhere different...but since alot of pple are slated to come..it might not
be a gd idea...cos i like seekin adventure mostli alone or wit two allies..cos the risk takin might not go down
too well wit others..n imposin has nevr been style.but we'll see wat happens..we'll see...we'll see

farrrkk..i think i shall go n relaaaak downstairs n watch tv now..somehow the top level of the house
feels sooooo quiet....need to go bask in the company of my mummy n ricky...n mummy has got my
kaya cake frm HAN's...dats incentive enuff to run back home frm anywhere..i tink ill juz take the
stairs..peaaaaaace

keep it legit if u cant take the shit..

engggllannnd glory in defeat

2004-06-25T09:51:00.000+08:00

As Martin Tyler so aptly put it..."not the best of free flowing football...but an excellent contest nonetheless."

pretty much sums up wat happened..ive nevr woken up 3 times in one night to watch tv..let alone soccer...but im glad i did..cos wat i saw made me beleive again...tht the glory days of gazza,barnes,shilton & lineker were makin a comeback...jus wit new faces in baggier jerseys and overpriced boots.Not many know that i used to follow English Football as a kid but gave it up after it became a big joke.The day a man who wears designer sarongs and models for evry damn magazine in print save The Economist became the talk of English football and soon after the Captain of the British Barbarians you noe that was the end....he fucked up..yes .made a kick that would ahve Wilkinson proud but who doesnt fuck up..any footballer worth his salt can tell u that its THE most daunting task evr especiali after u cant feel ur legs animore...

n somehow as i was tellin izzu..there was no passion frm the captain..Lampard had it,Rooney had it and as much as i hate to admit Public Enemy No.1 Neville had it..u could see it in their eyes...well..more than ever together wit my homie Shanthan in Michigan whom im bettin my last dollar on thrashed his place beyond recognition, there is hope..that more sooner than later..the day will come...all for Gerard as Captain..pls stand up..

i felt it tho strangeli .one of those rare moments when the result of a soccer match actuali had an effect on my mood.the last time i felt like this was when Singapore lost to Kedah in the Malaysia Cup..the loss..there was no wager on my side..ill nevr succumb to the one thing that has made the game a game for those who have nevr played game...yeah agree that u dun have to drive a Ferrari to appreciate the F1..but..my fren...u dun need the Monaco Gran Prix to play football..its a simple game for the simple man.So it pains me to see pple who have nevr played the game b4 in their lives suddenli become so fervent abt it n start dissin the pple who put their heart n soul playin it..i mean if its juz abt the dollars then juz shut the fuck up...BUT..yes there are pple who have nevr played it b4 but njoy it for the true essence of it..n for that RESPECT...juz a few tho..sayang included juz dat she has a problem of supporting the wrong teams which can be ironed out soon enuff..hahahah

The reason y im goin on abt this is cos i overheard two dipshits dissin England terokterok on da train this mornin..i was in a daze after clockin 2 hrs of sleep..n there these 2 were..goin on n on n on abt how England were so lousy and how they couldnt run for the whole time...FUCKIN dipshits..wat the fuck would they noe abt running in extra time..ive played extra time onli thrice in my life n i noe the pain when ur legs feel like fuckin jelly..wish izzu was there...would have given those fuckin nerdfucks a piece of his mind.

Well..i hope the CLub T soccer team has better luck than e England Soccer TEam..cos we have beeen there b4..almost winnin the game n then some late equalizer forcin us out to shoot-outs..wit me out on the sidelines cold n almost dead...we'll play like England ..wit izzu n lexy bein our gerard n rooney n lav bein our super sub.well for me..ill b happy breakin pple;s legs at the back and in the process tryin my best not to break mine like i did the last time...somethin ignited the fire early this mornin...we will win the CUP this Sept...not for anithin else..but for the simple reason that beer guzzzlin not boy bandish crazy mudderfuggers like us...are simpli the real deal..yes that was an ego trip to stay awake..dun blame me..i need the boost rite now..this is my first time comin to werk wit 2 hrs of sleep n it happens to be my last day of werk too..hahaha...

one more time...children of the night...EEEEEEEEENNNNNGGGGGGGLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNDDD!!!!!!!!
peace

PS:im takin it graciousli but juz a lil badli...my bad..i get too attached to anithin n anyone i beleive in...

izzu's italian pastabang

2004-06-24T15:01:00.000+08:00

Izzu wrote somethin that i couldnt ignore...hahahahah
So here's his article on somethin close to his heart juz like the causeway n mutton...Football

I hate Italy and hate is not a word I use loosely man.to me, the tourney has just started now that there arent any italian whiners left.tell me the bloody truth for the fuckin love of pastafresca why why why why why do ppl support italy?if u were at the 1982 world cup and saw the likes of paolo rossi and dino zoff take on and whoop probably the greatest ever brazilian team assembled then.thennnnnn maybe I can understand…or if u were there in 1990 when toto schilachi rose from oblivion to a maverick top-scoring pastaman thennnnnnnnnnn I understand toooo.but since roberto baggio, what is there left to like abt them? where are the heroes, the walter zengas and the franco baresis.whats their game? ppl say they support italy cos theyre a very technical team.technically, u have no fuckin clue what u’re talkin abt.this is their tactic, score one and line up in front of ur own goal.they were so hopelessly shameless in 2000 against holland and france.further back, the 94 wc final, voted the most boring final in history, had taaaddaaaaaaaaaaaa.italiaa.for all their effort, even brazil cant score against 11 defenders.yea so u can still win trophies playin negative footie, but u become the bastard child of the fraternity, the boyband among the rappers and rockers.but seriously I need to know why do ppl still support italy??? I’ll excuse the italians, but if u din grow up eatin fettucini alfredo then whats the deal brudders n sistas??.here’s a thought, if all the italian players looked like luke chadwick, will they still be 'technical' ?here’s another thought, if knowing the offside rule was a pre-requisite to bein an italian fan, would I even have to ask these questions?
If there’s any hope left for italy, it rests on the shoulders of antonio cassano.we will see
Izzu

2nd last day

2004-06-24T10:23:00.000+08:00

****yaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnn****....2nd last day of werk..n i juz had to be late..hah..i could have been earli but mummy wakin up late n the too delicious home cooked breakfast daddy made told me to juz relak n take my time to get to werk..felt soooo gd sleepin at home..dayeeemmmm..

i juz realized i have huuuuuuuuge issues wit receiving presents..i juz dunno how to react..i even have da same problems wit my parents.Most of the time im soo blur at that very moment that i come across as unappreciative which is quite slaaaaaaack!!! cos the truth is im juz damn shocked.delighted but shocked..not cos im not used to gettin presents n that it has become such an oddball concept to me...but simpli cos i like to give more than i receive..i dun normali buy presents off the shelves cos technicali it isnt mine and all im doin is usin money,the one true evil to get somethin that was made by soemone else to give to somebody else.basicali its tantamount to putting a price on the hard werk,the imagination,the skill and the rest of the jibaddis jibaddat that went into the final product.ther is juz somethin abt self-made stuff no matter how simple or stupid it looks.cos the onli invariable in a human's life is time.rich or poor,lazy or busy..the constant 24hrs of a day transcends all boundaries.n if someone gave up time to do somethin for me...now dats a gift fit for the gods.not that im unappreciative of gifts frm shops...ermmm...so yeah..pls take note..no matter how hard u try u cant make these...so get the hint :)

1) Digital camera (i dun care how many megapixel..can take pic i happy)

2) MP3 player (i dun care how many GB..can last me frm home to sch n back to home..i happy)

3) Adidas Shoes

4) Street Soccer shoes (i dun care wat brand..boleh score aku happy)

kiddddin yeaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!! these are stuff alreadi on my to-buy list n they will be bought in the week to come...ive decided to spend my hard earned money on more tangible stuff.somehow the vodkas,whiskeys and the beers dun seem to stay ard long enuff to substantiate my mad spending.hahahah

i juz got a gift frm the UBI office where i was werkin for like a month.The manager came up to me while i was secretly on soccernet.
so i had to urbancommando close all the windows but i think he saw la cos he was smilin..dayeeeeeeeem...but but..."mornin jeff,tomoroe last day ah..aniwae..here's a present frm us at Ubi..uve shown great improvement and we wish u da best" he said....n i juz gave dat blur look..cos i reali was..this is the same guy whom i threatened wit a drill in March.the same guy whom i revved the drill to n told him not to fuck ard wit me or.....hahahahhaha
they gave me a SONY MicroVault..din noe wat it was..then read read..USB Storage Media..yeahh....more space for porn..n on the go some more now hahahahahahahahahhahaha...riiiiiiiiiite...i still dun understand why guys my age watch porn..coke coke coke..real thing la brudder..
kiddddin keeeeeeeeddddingadingading!!

So..as i predicted..Holland n England are through to the quarters..sometimes i wish i gambled..but i think i shdnt..
cant afford to add another bad habit at this age...itll juz fuck me up totali..pass...but then again..TOTO extremists will argue that gambling isnt exactly a bad habit...

aiight..we have found our topic of the day..."is gambling a bad habit comparable to smokin and drinkin?"

i cant speak abt it cos ive nevr gambled in my life..n i heed the wise werds of Bob Dylan that no man shd preach of anithin that he doesnt noe or hasnt tried cos true wisdom comes frm knowledge gained frm experience.yeah so dun have sex wif 7 women at the same time..its not gd...hahahahahahahhahaha...yeah n i would noe..im suuuuuuuuuureeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

was talkin to mookz last nite..somethin he said din go down too well..told me that he din want to hang out at coffeeshops or under the block animore n dat we have to do things rite..i juz couldnt see his point.u mean its wrong to have coffee at the coffeeshop or juz sit down under the block wit a BIG GULP juz happili chattin away...i mean (as izzu would say) "waaaaat da faaaarrrrrkkkkkkkk"...hahah...me n izzu have beer @ the coffeeshop but dat doesnt make us some decadent low-life mo fos...well..mookz...i hate to say this..but brudder..im a neighbourhood kid..even if im flyin a damn 747..ill still be at the coffeeshop someday havin a relak teh or a beer wit my fellow 747er izzu n the rest of my boys..hahaha...cos the image i portray doesnt stem frm the place im seen at but more so frm the werds i speak n the fortitude of my mind.

gotta keep it real...simpli me..the real deal..

izey out
peace

PS:The beautiful game onli exists in South America..European football is abt bein robust and savage.n in dat dept..ENNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGLLLAAAAAAAAANNNNNDDDDDDD is kickin ass...
The wonder boys of ENNNNNNNNNNGGGLLAAANNNDDDD...the proletariat-lookin, beer-guzzling ,so-not-boy bandish barbarians of Britain are gonna have some sardinhas asadas (charcoal-grilled sardines), pastéis de bacalhau (cod fishcakes) and caldo verde (a soup of cabbage and potatoes) to go down wit the Carling tdae.

finalli...its up

2004-06-23T14:58:00.000+08:00

aiiight...i think im done...3 hrs later..my page looks nice enuff for me..n dats all dat matters actualli...heh..i reali nevr got why pple bother abt society's opinion when its a purely personal issue...i mean who cares if i dun think ur girlfren is hot...as long u think ur gf is hot and she is pleasing to ur eye...well fuckin done my fren...
iggnnneeennntt mudder fuggers...oh by the way..igggnnneeennntt is ignorant pronounced by a gold toothed nigga...watch black stand up n ull get it...fer sure

im aliiiiiiiiiive!!!!!!!!
wat a ride its been...werk..operation..livin in bangla quarters..road trippin wit izzu n the basement jaxx...simpli wicked fun...n in 2 days..yes..2 dayyysssss....itll all be over..ill be happili jobless..

oh b4 i forget....ENNNGGGGLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!

pasta & paella dun cut it like fish n chips...one more time evrybooodddyyy...EEENNNNGGGGGGGGGGGLAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

peace

PS...i aint suffering frm pinkerton's syndrome by the way...juz association of the wicked brew

wat a riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!!!!!!!!!!

2004-06-23T10:27:00.000+08:00

Welcome to the new site....Im sure u do see somethin reali different...well...
its killin me to inform evryone that the name bobby will not be associated wit me
animore...yes i still do beleive in the same ideals and the need to express...but..as my daddy tells me...do as i say n not as i do....i think that makes it very clear y i have decided to reassume my own identity...yes my frens...takeitizey is back..hahahaha
aniwae..yeah...so inform those mudderfuggers who used to blackmail me abt evrythin..hahahah bring it on brudder bring it fuckin on.....im waaaaaaaiiiiittttiiiinnngggg n so is izzu...oh..izzu still has that name tho...happens to be his real name....hah